Ready Player One Read-Through: Level Two: Chapter 17

Content warning: stalking, cyber-stalking, sexism, transphobia, references to rape.



We begin Level Two with a quote from Groucho Marx:


I'm not crazy about reality, but it's
still the only place to get a decent meal.


Uh... okay. I don't know what that has to do with anything, but whatever, let's get this over with.

We really begin with a chatroom thread between Wade and Art3mis. Wade is being a creepy stalker towards her, as usual. Art3mis only started responding in order to ask him to leave her alone, which of course he doesn't listen to.

He calls her "enchanting" - he uses this exact word to describe a girl he hardly knows, for her to read. Rather than log off right there and then and block the creeper, Art3mis's reply is "That's very sweet". Ever heard of stranger danger and pervs on the internet, Art3mis?! She also says that "Everything is related to the Hunt" - can't argue with that...

They talk about an SNL sketch done about the gunters. SNL still exists in the 2040s, in a future where reality is all but abandoned by everybody, apparently. No further explanation is ever offered.


And if I'm such a rock star, how come the media always portrays me as some unwashed geek who never goes outside? (Page 170)


The media isn't wrong, Wade. Or is that meant to be ironic? A joke? SNL is far funnier and cleverer than this book, though. Pity we don't get a description of that gunter sketch they did. Lord knows I need some cheering up right now.

When Art3mis complains that everyone thinks she's male in real life, Wade drops this bombshell:


That's because most gunters are male, and they can't accept the idea that a woman has beaten and/or outsmarted them. (Page 170)


Most gunters are male.


Most gunters are male.


MOST GUNTERS ARE MALE.


WHAT THE FUCK!?


ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!?


BULLSHIT!!!


Do you know how many women and girls make up the gaming community now, Cline? How many make a living talking about gaming, and developing video games? How many log onto the internet daily? How many attend cons and cosplay? It is the 2040s, and "most gunters are male" is how you chose to represent half the human race?! The human race that is heavily dependent on the online world?! This is Orson Scott Card levels of sexist, reductionist bullshit right there.

And again and again, we get hit with 1950s gender politics that amount to nothing and go nowhere. Art3mis even calls the people who think her a man, "Neanderthals". How about you look in a mirror, Cline? See how the real world currently is before you submit your futuristic book?

Wade continues his creepy escapades by telling Art3mis that she absolutely MUST be a female. Then:


I've had a crush on you since before we even met. From reading your blog and watching your POV. I've been cyber-stalking you for years. (Page 170)


He admits to stalking her. He just flat-out tells her about it.

And Art3mis is okay with this.

At least, she doesn't press on with it any further. She seriously doesn't mind.

Your respect for and knowledge of women in general - and by that I mean a total lacking in both cases - is showing glaringly and excruciatingly in this chapter, Cline.

Art3mis points out that the OASIS allows people's avatars to show only the sides of themselves they want others to see; personalities can be altered to fit an ideal self, instead of the real self, in person. Wade responds to this infallible logic with:


Well, I liked that side. And if you showed me your other sides, I'm sure I'd like those, too. (Page 171)


EW! EW! COULD YOU NOT BE CREEPY AND INVASIVE FOR ONE LINE, WADE!

It's clear that Cline did not think that this might be triggering for some of his readers - especially his female readers, though I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't think any women and girls would read Ready Player One - who would have experienced something like this, online and in real life. Dating can be a tough and even traumatic game; more so in the internet age.

Wade then has the gall to say, "I'm not the sort who makes demands." YOU'VE BEEN HOUNDING HER FOR AGES FOR HER TO TALK TO YOU AND ANSWER YOUR QUESTIONS WITH NO THOUGHT FOR HER FEELINGS AND PRIVACY! GO. TO. HELL!!!

Art3mis keeps trying to drill it into his pigheaded skull that he doesn't know her - he just knows her avatar. And she's right. He ignores what she says and pesters her anyway, never taking no for an answer.

Entitled jackass - and we're supposed to find him endearing for harassing this poor girl. We're meant to root for him - get in there, son!


ART3MIS: You shouldn't reveal stuff like that! I could be a Sixer spy trying to profile you.
PARZIVAL: The Sixers already profiled me, remember? They blew up my house. Well, it was a trailer. But they blew it up.
ART3MIS: I know. I'm still freaked out about that. I can only imagine how you feel.
PARZIVAL: Revenge is a dish best served cold.
ART3MIS: Bon appetit. What do you do when you're not hunting? (Page 172)


That's right: gloss over death, destruction and trauma again.

Wade still doesn't care about the real people in his life being dead, and now he's talking to a cyber girl in the hopes of a virtual lay. This whole thread might as well conclude with, "Anyway, how's your sex life?"

Wade then tells Art3mis, "Hunting is all I do," - again, you get no argument from me there. Wade is a blank slate with no hobbies and is practically dead Halliday's prisoner and slave. His Mini-Me.


ART3MIS: How well do you know Aech?
PARZIVAL: He's been my best friend for five years. Now, spill it. Are you a woman? And by that I mean are you a human female who has never had a sex-change operation? (Page 173)


FUCK YOU AND YOUR TRANSPHOBIA, YOU BIGOTED CRETIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And remember, he's not the sort who makes demands!

This unchecked bigotry isn't merely an oversight on the author's part: Did no editor pick up on this?

Good to know that things will have gotten worse in the 2040s.

We also learn that Art3mis is an orphan, too. How convenient. For Wade, that is. His Manic Pixie Dream Girl just keeps getting better and better.

Speaking of:


PARZIVAL: OK. What's your favorite movie? Of all time?
ART3MIS: It changes. Right now? Probably Highlander.
PARZIVAL: You've got great taste, lady.
ART3MIS: I know. I have a thing for evil bald bad guys. The Kurgan is too sexy. (Page 173-174)


Art3mis just called the Kurgan, a rapist and murderer, "too sexy." Granted, it is Clancy Brown. A young Clancy Brown at that. But he plays a rapist in Highlander! A male author has a female character call a rapist, albeit a fictional one, "too sexy."

Too sexy.

This sodding book, I don't--! Moving on.

Okay, one more thing: "evil bald bad guys." is a redundant sentence.

The thread mercifully ends... with Wade pestering Art3mis even more. For her personal details and private life. He genuinely has no idea how creepy he's being to her. Probably because all his life no one has ever told him that no means no, and that women don't like stalkers who won't take no for an answer. Eighties movies have been such a positive influence on him, as evidenced by this chapter.

But seriously, leave her alone when she wants you too!

Wade goes on to explain to the readers how all his stalking has paid off and Art3mis, instead of telling him to fuck off and that she's sick of him, is fast becoming friends with him. Fast into something more.


Before long, we were meeting in private chat-room sessions at least once a day. We played vintage board games, watched movies, and listened to music. We talked for hours. Long, rambling conversations about everything under the sun. Spending time with her was intoxicating. We seemed to have everything in common. We shared the same interests.. We were driven by the same goal. She got all of my jokes. She made me laugh. She made me think. She changed the way I saw the world. I'd never had such a powerful, immediate connection with another human being before. Not even with Aech. (Page 174)


Wade is in love with a fantasy. What he just described is a fantasy.

He really doesn't know Art3mis. She could be a Sixer spy, prying him for '80s trivia and secrets, or she could be an NPC - a programmed distraction for him on the hunt. None of these things ever cross his mind. He ignores every warning sign, every thought, that occurs to him, because he wants to trust her. And that's a good enough reason for him. His boner rules everything else out.

This "romance" has no basis in reality whatsoever. It's based on nothing solid. So I can't get invested in it, or care about it one megabyte. I've been given no reason to care. It's pathetic, not cute. It's not "true love", as the author clearly sees it as.

"She changed the way I saw the world." - Wade just perfectly described the function of a Manic Pixie Dream Girl. Another pop culture term the author is ignorant of.

Our charming hero then takes a break from talking about Art3mis (thank Godoka for that!), to mention that he graduated high school with literally no effort or work done. He didn't attend any ceremony. He already had the credits to receive a diploma regardless. Education is not important! Great lesson for your YA demographic!

He goes on to talk about his side quest level-ups. He can afford to explore everywhere in the OASIS now, and play in these exciting, magical, RPG, World of Warcraft-type quests. So naturally he only mentions them in passing, telling us that he completed them, and we don't get to share in the excitement. Great writing there.

He teams up with Art3mis for a few quests (two-player quests?), including a Goonies-type simulation: "It was entirely too much fun.".

It sounds like fun, too.

And the whole adventure is summed up in four sentences in one paragraph.

Again, great writing.

Meanwhile Wade is still trying to figure out the riddle. After infodumping on The Space Giants, a '60s Japanese TV show, he ponders on cereal commercials. Wait, what?


Then, one Saturday morning, I finally made a small breakthrough. I was watching a collection of vintage '80s cereal commercials when I paused to wonder why cereal manufacturers no longer included toy prizes inside every box. It was a tragedy, in my opinion. Another sign that civilization was going straight down the tubes. (Page 176)


No toys in cereal boxes anymore a tragedy? Civilization ruined?

Civilization is ruined not because of an energy crisis or any other environmental and/or ecological issue; not because of any social, cultural and political missteps; or any state of emergency; but because toys aren't in cereal boxes anymore.

Is this meant to be funny? Is this meant to be seen as pathetic? It has to be. It has to be ironic self-awareness and satire. If not, holy shit, what a manchild! How self-absorbed and indulgent are you!? It is people like you that are the reason why civilization is dying!

Also, Halliday included cereal commercials in his Anorak's Almanac?! Wade has a collection of TV cereal commercials? The hero of Ready Player One owns a collection of TV cereal commercials! I don't think the author took the time to fully realize how stupid that sounds.

But it turns out that cereal commercials hold the key to finding the next Key (ugh, now I hate myself). But he can't think straight because Art3mis is so hot. They are spending more and more time together as the weeks go by:


I wanted more than anything to meet her in the real world. Face-to-face. But I didn't tell her this. I was certain she had strong feelings for me, but she always kept me at a distance. (Page 177-178)


Of course you would assume that, you entitled Nice Guy.

Idiot Wade had revealed everything about himself to Art3mis - including his real name! - all so that she would reveal more about herself in turn. But to no avail. He's disappointed in this because he's a creepy Nice Guy, not getting what he wants from his fantasy girl. Not respecting her privacy.

He thinks her avatar must look exactly like her real self. Because he wants to think that. He wants her to be as attractive in person; for his fantasy to have validation, and to be worthwhile.

He mentions how he and Aech are drifting apart, due to Art3mis taking up much of his time now. Aech tells him, "I sure hope you know what you're doing, Z." For once I agree with Aech. Listen to him, Wade!


I didn't, of course. My whole relationship with Art3mis was in defiance of all common sense. But I couldn't help falling for her. Somehow, without my realizing it, my obsession with finding Halliday's Easter egg was gradually being supplanted by my obsession with Art3mis. (Page 178)


I repeat everything that I have said so far in this damn chapter.

From rejecting reality full-time to find the egg, to obsessing over a virtual girl in the space of ten pages. Wade has some serious self-esteem and insecurity issues to deal with.

Oh and remember that whole "the Sixers are trying to kill me" plot? Well Wade's crush on Arty has supplanted that as well. He begins to go out on dates with her, showing his avatar's famous face everywhere in the OASIS.

All just to impress her. No more low profile! Fucking idiot! Fucking, cocky idiot! You think your erection is more important than your life!? GROW UP!!!!!!!

In one of the very, very few brights spots in this, there is a planet in the OASIS called Transsexual, where Wade and Art3mis play out Rocky Horror Picture Show. So there is that in LBGTQ rep in Ready Player One. Although it centers wholly on the experiences of two heterosexual, cisgender main characters. And it doesn't make up for the transphobic comment earlier.

Ar3mis kisses Wade for the first time after playing in the movie. Because of course she does. As I've stated many times before, she's a Manic Pixie Dream Girl. Devoid of anything resembling a real girl.


I'd heard all the cliched warnings about the perils of falling for someone you only knew online, but I ignored them. I decided that whoever Art3mis really was, I was in love with her. I could feel it, deep in the soft, chewy caramel center of my being.
      And then one night, like a complete idiot, I told her how I felt. (Page 179)


FAR, FAR, FAR TOO LATE!!!

YOU. DON'T. KNOW. HER!!!

Dismissing warnings concerning online safety is an unforgivable message in a YA novel from 2011, too.

Isn't Wade meant to be grieving?



Art3mis is the author's ideal woman. She's not real. She's not really complex at all, despite what the narration tells us - in both the virtual world and the real world, she's exactly what she appears to be. She's exactly what Wade wants her to be.

Because, say it with me everyone: she's a Manic Pixie Dream Girl.



End of chapter 17, and we have barely begun on all the bullshit!