Ready Player One Read-Through: Chapter 18

Content warning: sexism, abuse, stalking, male entitlement.



Wade is watching '80s TV (I'll allow you the appropriate time to recover from the shock of that statement), when he receives an email from Ogden Morrow. It's a birthday invitation:


The invitation featured a photo of Morrow's world-famous avatar, the Great and Powerful Og. The gray-bearded wizard was hunched over an elaborate DJ mixing board, one headphone pressed to his ear, biting his lower lip in auditory ecstasy as his fingers scratched ancient vinyl on a set of silver turntables. His record crate bore a DON'T PANIC sticker and an anti-Sixer logo - a yellow number six with a red circle-and-slash over it. (Page 180)


Hmm, a clever and subtle The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy reference placed there. It fits the situation well and is pretty funny, matching Morrow's personality and making me think that he really would add something like that to his own online birthday invitation. Good job, Cline.

Now as penance for saying something positive about Ready Player One, I shall point out that Wade should have been suspicious of this invite. It was sent to him specifically. Could it be a trap? Nah! Wade just says "It felt like the greatest honor I'd ever received." I remind you that he is in hiding and there are Sixers out to kill him and his friends.

But sod all that -  PARTY!

He wants to "avoid looking like a wuss" in front of Art3mis, who also got an invite, you see. Priorities! The other members of the High Five are conveniently MIA, so it's another date for these two lifeless, superficial, virtually-inclined children.

The party is set in The Distracted Globe, a famous OASIS cyberpunk nightclub with zero gravity rules. Celebrities will be there. Its very name carries more meaning and symbolism than even the author had probably intended. It is also a PvP zone: it would be dangerous to go there, especially for a gunter, and one who is on IOI's hit-list. It very well could be a trap set for Wade and other gunters on the Scoreboard.

But who cares - PARTY!


I made a big entrance when I arrived in my flying DeLorean, which I'd obtained by completing a Back to the Future quest on the planet Zemeckis. (Page 182)


Heh, cute.

Here's more of Cline masturbating:


The DeLorean came outfitted with a (nonfunctioning) flux capacitor, but I'd made several additions to its equipment and appearance. First, I'd installed an artificially intelligent onboard computer named KITT (purchased in an online auction) into the dashboard, along with a matching red Knight Rider scanner just above the DeLorean's grill. Then I'd outfitted the car with an oscillation overthruster, a device that allowed it to travel through solid matter. Finally, to complete my '80s super-vehicle theme, I'd slapped a Ghostbusters logo on each of the DeLorean's gull-wing doors, then added personalized plates that read ECTO-88.
     I'd had it only a few weeks now, but my time-travelling, Ghost Busting, Knight Riding, matter-penetrating DeLorean had already become my avatar's trademark. (Page 182)


I think I may have just stumbled upon Cline's whole reason for wanting to write Ready Player One: he had to make his fanboy dream come true and let everybody know about it somehow.

Wade enters the club (the fuck-you-all-I-have-a-DeLorean-plus-accessories has many anti-theft systems installed), or he would if he weren't swarmed by a legion of fans outside first. He, a new celebrity - gunters can become celebrities now in this culturally-wasted world - leaves the poor peasants behind to quite literally take a staircase into heaven, the way the Distracted Globe is designed.

At the zero-gravity nightclub that's like a mashup of Blade Runner, Tron, a Tatooine bar, and 2000s movie strobelighting and lens flares, there is a cute detail of R2-D2 as the DJ. Our famous level-up boy is instantly spotted by other celebs, but he's looking for Art3mis. When she does appear at a bar full of eighties references, of course she looks super hot - "devastating", as Wade puts it. No bragging there about a hot date everybody else should be killing themselves with jealously over; not from our modest, mature hero.


She shouted at the barkeep. "Glenmorangle. On the rocks."
     I smiled to myself. Connor MacLeod's favorite drink. Man, did I love this girl. (Page 184)


"I smiled to myself." - not to her, but to himself. Like I said, totally not bragging. No ego-stroking to be found.

Also, they'd already made Highlander banter to each other when they first met. And Art3mis had said on their chatroom thread that it was her favourite movie. So why is Wade surprised when she references an aspect of it here? He doesn't think much of her when it doesn't have to do with her looks, does he?

Man, I'm sick of these Highlander references. Don't these two share in other things? Things that are not related to the eighties?

Then the Great and Powerful Og appears. Morrow makes more appearances in the OASIS as his wizard avatar than in public in the real world. So much for his self-awareness and wanting to distance himself from the OASIS and be real. It looks like his fridged wife's death made him retreat further - and thus becoming more like his dead ex-friend Halliday - than he'd wished. The author never remarks on this connection, however.

Ogden Morrow is the man behind the curtain - obviously a suspicious figure by his avatar name alone, which everybody except the characters in this book catch up on. Because they're idiots.

Og is the DJ, and Wade and Art3mis dance. Her avatar transforms into a mermaid, floating like she's underwater. And before I'm reminded of a gender-reversed The Shape of Water, Wade, right there and then, loads up a dance software called Travolta, which he'd downloaded earlier, even though he's stated many times before that he doesn't like dancing.

Travolta and dancing - a reference to Saturday Night Fever, a movie from the seventies: misogyny from films of the past is working its way in droves in this futuristic story. Most prominently in this chapter, as we shall see.

Art3mis then transforms into a colourful, lava lamp-like blob, bobbing to the beat of the eighties music. Wade does the same, and they practically merge together. Ew.

Art3mis is literally a Shapeshifter in this scene - a fantasy girl, able to shift into anything to suit the leading male's desires at any specific moment. This is so meta and yet not meta at all.

Dance, dance, dance puppets dance! Morrow is in control of the situation as a virtual DJ in this virtual world. Then Wade declares his love for his virtual pseudo-girlfriend.

In probably her most realistic reaction in the book so far, she is shocked, and apprehensive:


"You aren't in love with me, Z," she said. "You don't even know me."
     "Yes, I do." I insisted. "I know you better than I've ever known anyone in my entire life."
     "You only know what I want you to know. You only see what I want you to see." (Page 186)


She is right.


There was an unsteadiness in her voice. "Trust me. If I ever let you see me in person, you would be repulsed." (Page 186)


"Repulsed". That is the exact word she uses to describe her real self: Repulsive.

Remember this.

Wade, in desperation, threatens-- er, I mean lets her know that he will get on a plane right now so that he could meet her in person, to prove that he does love her for her mind and not her appearance. Even though his infatuation with her has been all about her avatar's appearance up to this point.


She shook her head. "You don't live in the real world, Z. From what you've told me, I don't think you ever have. You're like me. You live inside this illusion." She motioned to our virtual surroundings. "You can't possibly know what real love is." (Page 186)


Everything Art3mis just said is 100% correct. I couldn't have put it better myself. She even gave a perfect answer for why she should not get together with someone like Wade.

She'd be my favourite character if she didn't end up with him anyway. Ready Player One is still a male power fantasy masquerading as a dystopian sci-fi landmark, after all.


"Don't say that!" I was starting to cry and didn't bother hiding it from her. "Is it because I told you I've never had a real girlfriend? And that I'm a virgin? Because--"
     "Of course not," she said. "That isn't what this is about. At all."
     "Then what is it about? Tell me. Please." (Page 186)


Asshat, she just told you what this is about! Or are you one of those guys who shut down and not listen to a girl as soon as she tells you "no", or doesn't agree with you?

He should not have taken dating advice from John Hughes movies, as evidenced in this conversation - the first real conversation the two have had. Wade grew up watching nothing but old movies and TV shows and games where women were not seen or treated as people. How did anyone expect he'd turn out? In talking to a girl for the first time ever?

In talking about prioritizing the hunt over their relationship:


"To hell with the competition! And the egg!" I shouted. "Didn't you hear what I just said? I'm in love with you! And I want to be with you. More than anything." (Page 186)


Wow.

Holy fuck.

You are seriously scary right now, Wade.

I've had men talk to me like this in real life. I've known women everywhere - including friends of mine - who've had men talk to them like this. IT IS NOT FUCKING ROMANTIC. It is terrifying, possessive, distressing, and stalkerish.

Wade, our protagonist, shouts at the girl he supposedly loves when she communicates logic and reason to him. He accuses her of not listening to him when he hasn't been listening to her at all throughout this much-needed conversation. He won't take a hint; he won't take no for an answer. He declares his love for her when he doesn't know her. He is getting overly-emotional and is expressing it through anger - anger directed at her. He is clearly making her uncomfortable.

Wade is an entitled abuser. This is how a lot of abusive relationships start.

When Art3mis stands her ground and declares that they should "Stop spending so much time together." (you have every right to take out the "so much" in that sentence, Arty):


I felt like I'd been punched in the throat. "Are you breaking up with me?"
     "No, Z," she said firmly. "I am not breaking up with you. That would be impossible, because we are not together." There was suddenly venom in her voice. "We've never even met!" (Page 187)


DING! DING! DING! DING! Art3mis is 100% correct and owning your toxic-Nice-Guy-male-entitlement-and-masculinity arse once again, Wade! You were never together! You have never even met! Reality check hurts, don't it?

So it should be over now, right?

Disturbingly, no. When talking about winning the egg and what Art3mis would do with the money (something they'd disagreed on before, as the reader might recall):


"It's not about the money. It's about what I could do with it."
"Right. Saving the world. You're so fucking noble." (Page 187)


And you're so fucking obnoxious, Wade.

Katniss Everdeen is more optimistic than you.

This pathetic loser doesn't want to try anything - he doesn't want to deal with anything - when it comes to reality and responsibility. He viciously insults his love interest when she prioritizes her need to save the world over spending time with him and his wants.

OUR. HERO!

Why couldn't Art3mis have been the protagonist of Ready Player One!?

She calls Wade a "jerk" - that doesn't begin to cover what he is. She then says he is asking her to throw her life and goals away for him - "even if you don't realize it."

She is a real girl after all. With a life of her own, outside of the male lead's.

Tragically, like I've said, she ends up with him anyway by the end of the book. This self-awareness is all merely lipservice.

Sixers attack the club. What a fucking relief! No more teen drama, thank god.

They attack Wade and Art3mis, the famous High-Five gunters. Gee, it's almost as if waltzing into an exclusive, high-profile hang-out - which is a PvP zone - for a high-profile event, as yourselves, with hundreds of cameras, fans and celebrities about, when there are people out to kill you, wasn't a particularly bright idea or something! Thanks to his recklessness and hubris, loads of avatars are going to die tonight. It is all Wade's fault. Again.

They fight the army of storming Sixers, and are losing. It seems like their avatars might be lost forever and this book might mercifully end before it can get any worse, when from the virtual heavens Og the Great and Powerful descends and blasts all the Sixers with lightning right there on the dance floor.


"You jerks think you can crash my birthday party?" he shouted. (Page 188)


Why is "jerk" suddenly the new playground insult in a book where swearing is the norm?

He is described like "the voice of God", from his booming mic. For a book with atheist leanings, there are quite a significant number of allusions to God or being like a god in its text; such as whoever gets to rule the OASIS will be like a virtual god, or Halliday being seen as a "geek god" and a "ghost in the machine" after his death, still able to lord over his trapped, incognizant worshipers/slaves in the OASIS, which he himself had described as a "paradise".

Then, "A dozen tines of red lightning erupted from each of Og's fingertips." Nice use of the word "tines" instead of "lines", there. Well anyway Og kills the Sixers and goes right back to DJ-ing and dancing. All the remaining avatars resume dancing. Creepy.

So Morrow only later decided to save the day. What was he doing while avatars were being killed? It's never explained. Ready Player One is so nonchalant about destruction and trauma, it's kind of scary; and not in a way I'd associate with a dystopian novel.

Remember, this isn't a dystopia to the author.

Dream girl disappears. She does look back at Wade before exiting. Why? It's hope for a future in their relationship, despite all reason, of course!

This is seriously Wade's Blue Screen Of Death moment. His lowest point. His decent into depression and complete isolation from reality and everything to do with it. Not from losing his home and family. But from the possibility of losing a girl he'd never even met in real life.

Oh, poor pity party poo.

Fuck this.

End of chapter 18.