Ready Player One Read-Through: Chapter 12

Content warning: sexism, references to sexist and misogynistic harassment.



Wade wakes up and immediately logs into the OASIS. Well, that was a good five paragraphs spent in reality.

On the Scoreboard Art3mis is now on the same boat as him, though still in second place. After not feeling "quite so impressed with myself" (other gunters were bound to catch up with you sooner or later, what did you expect? Fame gone to your head which has gone up your arse already?), Wade checks out the news, now seeing the full implications of his fame. There's a stupid and ultimately pointless parody of an interview where a newsfeed anchor is so clueless about the rules of Halliday's egg hunt that the "intellectual" he's talking to ends up explaining everything that the reader already knows. It is explaining to us what just happened!

Wade changes the channel and watches an interview with Ogden Morrow, in the wake of the news of the two gunters on the Scoreboard.


It had been almost six years since Morrow had last spoken to the media, but he didn't seem to have aged a day. His wild gray hair and long beard made him look like a cross between Albert Einstein and Santa Claus. That comparison was also a pretty good description of his personality. (Page 117)


Morrow is described to resemble George R. R. Martin again. Coincidence?

As the interview progresses, I started to think that Morrow might be the only character in Ready Player One I actually liked. He's funny, witty, sarcastic, self-aware, clearly not that much of a shut-in that he'd be bad or awkward company, and he delights in epic burns on the interviewer and the media network said interviewer works for, right on their turf. He feels real. He has a clearly-defined personality, without coming across as an insufferable caricature. He seems like a genuinely pleasant guy to hang out with, and strike up conversations with.

They talk about the IOI (yeah, I almost forgot about them, as well), which owns the network the interview is taking place. Morrow holds nothing back on his feelings concerning the Sixers and what they represent for the OASIS that he and his late friend had created, then:


"Of course they do!" Morrow shouted gleefully. "They own practically everything! Including you, pretty boy! I mean, did they tattoo a UPC code on your ass when they hired you to sit there and spout their corporate propaganda?"
        The reporter began to stutter, glancing nervously at something off camera.
        "Quick!" Morrow said. "You better cut me off before I say anything else!" He broke up into gales of laughter just as the network cut his satellite feed. (Page 119)


Morrow's warning about the IOI and the Sixers flies over Wade's head. Again. Despite him "pondering over the old man's advice". This doesn't come back.


I'd always suspected that Morrow knew more about the contest than he was letting on. (Page 119)


You think!? Great puzzle solver, that Wade is!

Then it is all ruined when the narration proceeds to infodump about the relationship between Halliday and Morrow.


Morrow had led a very different life from Halliday's--one involving a much greater connection to humanity. And a great deal more tragedy. (Page 119)


Morrow, against all reason, is described as the most tragic of the two, because he was better connected to humanity. Cline, did you realize the implications of that before you wrote it? Did you care?

Morrow had a sweetheart, you see, later to become his wife. Her name was Karen Underwood - or Kira, as she insisted on being called, after the love interest in The Dark Crystal. You know, Cline, one or two people unhealthily obsessed with the '80s is one thing, but everybody sharing that limited obsession is not as endearing as you seem to think it is.

In his autobiography, Morrow describes Kira as "the quintessential geek girl" - as opposed to just a "quintessential geek", like the D&D guys Morrow and Halliday used to hang out with? I think I take back what I said about Morrow being the only likable character in Ready Player One. Obviously he is not as self-aware as I'd thought. He was even the one who had invited Kira to the gaming group in the first place; she didn't come on her own, out of her own interests. How patronizing.

He then says that "She became the lone female in our weekly gaming group," "And every single one of the guys developed a massive crush on her, including Jim." - Ugh!

He later writes that he'd left GSS because:


"we were no longer in the videogame business", and because he felt that the OASIS had evolved into something horrible. "It had become a self-imposed prison for humanity," he wrote . "A pleasant place for the world to hide from its problems while human civilization slowly collapses, primarily due to neglect." (Page 120)


Just what I've been saying throughout this read-through. But Morrow is the tragic one, you see. The above line, vital in its commentary and self-awareness in this dystopian novel, isn't followed up on. Ever.

Hands up who's surprised?

So Morrow and Kira got married, left their company, and in their "retirement" developed educational adventure computer games, which Wade mentions that he grew up playing, and that "In a way, the Morrows were my first teachers." This would be rather touching if it was alluded to before, where the reader only got the impression that Wade had been raised in the OASIS, and that was both his escape from and his reaffirmation of his grim reality.

Kira was then killed in a car accident.

So, let's do a counting game:



1. Karen/Kira Underwood started off as a British exchange student whom all the boys in school had found to be exotic and enticing from that fact alone.

2. She is described, by her own future husband no less, as "the quintessential geek girl" - she is considered to be super special solely because of this, as if she is a credit to her female species.

3. "She became the lone female in our weekly gaming group". The high school D&D group, that is. I know it must have been unusual back in the '80s and '90s for a girl to come out as a pop culture and gaming geek amidst the hostile boys' club mentality of the geek community. But come on! There is no mention of her receiving any backlash, rejection, threats, and unfair treatment by the group, because she was pretty, I guess. That solves it: Girls, you want to be included in the geek/nerd community, you better be hot! Being white and heterosexual are also necessities! Or the boys won't accept you.

4. Kira is literally described as the only female around his own age whom Halliday ever spoke to and felt comfortable to be around, because she's both pretty and a geek, sharing his interests.

5. Both Morrow and Halliday, two best friends, fell in love with her.

6. We are meant to view Morrow as a lucky nerd for marrying her, since "every single one of the guys developed a massive crush on her, including Jim."

7. They both lived a happy life, with no need to escape reality since in the real world, they have each other. Their love is real, and that's what matters. Until Kira dies. Reality sucks!

8. Nowhere is it mentioned that Kira had any female friends and family, or ever interacted with other women and girls.



Add it all up, and what you get from Kira is that she was: An exotic foreigner from a world outside of the nerdy high school guys' experiences; a product of the Smurfette Principle; a typical cute geek girl who was "one of the guys" and who criticized nothing; a Manic Pixie Dream Girl who shared all the same interests as the men in her life (it's not clear what she liked individually, other than The Dark Crystal), and who caused one of them to break out of his shell a little, giving his life more meaning; a girl who was a rift between two male best friends, one of whom didn't adhere to the guy law of "bros before hos"; a prize for one of the men to win - a white successful computer nerd's trophy wife, who as a bonus liked all the things he liked; an emotionally supportive figure who helped her despondent husband see the beauty of life again, as they lived together and enjoyed a simple existence; and she was a fridged woman, whose death fuels the man pain of two prominent male characters. She has also been dead years before this story had even begun, and she is clearly not seen to be as important as the messiah genius James Halliday, so she barely counts as a character to begin with.

Wow. You... were really fishing for all those sexist role cliches, weren't you, Cline?

And of course Kira was the only person with a vagina Halliday ever felt comfortable talking to (what about his mother?) - got to pile up on the socially-inept white nerd stereotype. How unflattering, and insulting.

As if I needed another reason to despise him, Halliday was a caveman who never outgrew the "girls have cooties" phase. Or, like his protege Wade, did he view the opposite sex as "some exotic alien species"? and Kira was the one exception to this rule, but only because she conformed and catered to his insecure fantasies? You decide, Player One!

This whole infodump practically tells us the real reason for why Halliday and Morrow fell out and why Morrow left GSS, but Cline thinks his readers are idiots, unaware of the biggest storytelling cliches that existed since the dawn of time. We have to have the reason flat-out told to us close to the end of the book. Obvious news is not news, and we wait for nothing. No tension, no suspense, nor any respect for the reader's intelligence once again.

Anyway, Wade watches another interview, or a press conference about Morrow, that was filmed in the wake of Halliday releasing the Anorak's Invitation after his death, five years previously. Morrow closes the conference with this to say about Halliday:


"Jim always wanted everyone to share his obsessions, to love the same things he loved. I think this contest is his way of giving the entire world an incentive to do just that." (Page 122)


Morrow perfectly sums up Halliday's comic book villainy right there. In any other book, this would be ominous, a warning, and a commentary on white male privilege and entitlement.

Yet... are we supposed to view that line as fun? Or funny? Not to be taken seriously? Did Cline try to achieve the impossible and make it sound positive?

How, in what universe, real or otherwise, would this be interpreted in a positive light?

And, say it with me everyone: This is never brought up again!

Next, Wade calls up Aech, who is freaking out, jealous as hell over his virtual best friend's victory, yet also very proud of him... disconcertingly so. There is this exchange:


"No shit, you had a late night!" he said. "Look at you! How can you be so calm! Don't you realize what this means? This is huge! This is beyond epic! I mean... congratu-freakin'-lations, man!" He began to bow repeatedly. "I am not worthy!"
        "Cut it out, OK? It's really not a big deal. I haven't actually won anything yet..."
        "Not a big deal!" he cried. "Not. A. Big. Deal? Are you kidding me? You're a legend now, man! You just became the first gunter in history to find the Copper Key! And clear the First Gate! You are a god, from this moment forth! Do you not realize this, fool?" (Page 123)


How many exclamation points can you fit in one or two lines of dialogue!!!!!!!!!!!!?

But most importantly, Aech calls Wade a legend and a literal god, worshipping him. This is unsettling and disturbing for so many reasons, given Aech's true identity. He and the book fall over themselves kissing Wade's pale, fat, useless, non-functioning arse.

Aech has found the Tomb of Horrors and is about to win the Copper Key and make it through the First Gate. More kissing Wade's arse, more warnings - this time concerning other gunters figuring out that Wade and Aech attend school on Ludus. Gunters like I-r0k. Their identities are put in danger by the media.

These are consequences that our cautious hero doesn't take seriously when he should.

He drops hints for Aech, because he's an idiot, and it has only just occurred to him now that he and his friend are in competition with each other for the egg. Well, you don't know for sure he is as he appears, Wade, despite your shared knowledge of and "enthusiasm" (read: unhealthy obsession) for pop culture.

From tips for Aech, to an email from Art3mis. After thanking him for his tip to her earlier, she writes:


The First Gate was pretty wild, wasn't it? Not at all what I expected. It would have been cool if Halliday had given me the option to play Ally Sheedy instead, but what can you do? (Page 126)


What can you do? indeed, Cline! Er, I mean Halliday! You are an arsehole.

Art3mis wanted to play Ally Sheedy's character in the Wargames simulation. More social commentary? Awareness of the overabundance of male protagonists in movies in the eighties, and how it's not fair to women (and to POC)? Representation matters?

Or just never bring it up again, as usual. Again, thanks for nothing.

Wade rereads Art3mis's email, "grinning like a dopey schoolboy". You are an insult to dopey schoolboys, Wade! He writes a reply, and it is worthy of note that he completely ignores Art3mis's Ally Sheedy comment. She is also now a distraction for him, hindering him from focusing on solving the next riddle and finding the Jade Key. Art3mis is meant to represent Kira reborn, it seems.

But at this point, I don't have the energy to care.

End of chapter 12. Shit's about to go down, and I mean that in every meta way you can interpret it.