I've read some bad 'Captain Marvel' comics, but 'The Life of Captain Marvel' is the first to be rated one star by me. Because it pissed me off that much.
These recent Marvel comics to feature Carol Danvers have been part of a cycle of disappointments and disasters, barely avoiding a black hole, and I feel I can't remain silent about it. After Margaret Stohl's disappointing 'The Mighty Captain Marvel, Vol. 1: Alien Nation' from two years previously, I thought I would not be hyped by a new Carol story again. But then I was willing to give Ms. Stohl another chance when I heard about 'The Life of Captain Marvel', which was meant to take Earth's mightiest hero back to her roots, and show her regain her lost confidence, strength and glorious passion and asskicking that had made her so popular with comic book readers to begin with.
And to its credit, it does start out quite promising. Carol Danvers, haunted by painful memories during a fight on Father's Day, flies back to the South, to the hometown of her childhood, where she is desperately trying to come to terms with the abuse inflicted on herself and her two brothers by her alcoholic father, now deceased and unable to answer her many questions on why he did what he did. Her mother, who also appears to be as much of a victim of unfortunate circumstances at the hands of Joseph Danvers, isn't giving Carol satisfactory answers. (Her brothers are older than her here, instead of younger, like in previous canon, but whatever.) She wants to understand her father, while simultaneously hating him for the suffering he caused her and the rest of her family. Now those issues will never be fully resolved.
A realistic exploration of family issues (and how there is no family that doesn't have them, or doesn't have things they don't want to talk about); a great opportunity for character development and rising from the ashes; rising from latent, long-term PTSD; reaching for the sky and doing better than the grounds you were born in; and a growing mother-and-daughter bond in light of childhood domestic abuse at the father's hands, now finally being discussed. It's brilliant stuff, if treated with the care and respect that it warrants, and it is just what Carol needs. It's a perfect opportunity for Marvel to finally rescue and redeem her character; to bring her back to her old lovable and charming self, only now she's more experienced, nuanced, and FREE internally as an adult woman, and as the greatest superhero on earth.
Then it all went to shit.
'The Life of Captain Marvel' isn't merely a bad comic. It may have ruined Captain Marvel herself for good. It ruins everything about her, and I am not exaggerating. Doesn't anyone at Marvel know what they're doing anymore? Do they care?
What destroys Carol Danvers and everything that makes her her is a major spoiler reveal, so be warned. Not that I would ever recommend that anyone read this, it's just that it's really, really, really bad. Like inmates running the asylum bad.
Okay, here it is. You ready?:
Spoiler:
So it turns out that Carol's mother is Kree! This means that Carol was born half-Kree! Her brothers are her half-brothers from her father's side (not that this is acknowledged once, what great writing). The Psyche Magnetron explosion that gave her her Kree powers actually only triggered them in her genes - which have always been Kree! Her meeting Mar-Vell was a bloody big coincidence!
This is as bad as making Wonder Woman a daughter of Zeus: you cannot retcon the origin story of a major superhero THAT IS DECADES OLD and expect everyone to be okay with it. I honestly thought that that plot twist was a sick joke.
It's not.
Carol's mother, Marie, or Mari-Ell, is an important Kree captain who was sent to earth on a mission that is never made clear, where she fell in love with widower Joseph Danvers (no further explanation given) and had a daughter with him. She wanted a life away from war, to raise a loving family, all along. Joseph knew that Marie was Kree and loved her all the same, but stress and wanting a normal, safe life for Carol drove him over the edge, causing him to take out his frustrations on his sons.
What cliched bullshit. But worse is the unfortunate implication that the reason Marie didn't protect her (step)sons, and seemed to care for Carol more than them, is because she's her biological child. The high-ranking-warrior-turned-housewife did nothing and let the abuse continue, because she was too aware of how stressed her husband, whom she gave up her whole alien life for, really was. Children had to suffer at the hands of a grown man who chose to have an alien warrior for a wife, and who knew what having a kid with her would entail. No thought of talking out their worries and problems, oh no.
What wonderful people. No wonder Carol's life is so messed up, at least according to this comic.
Speaking of, back to Captain Marvel:
Her strength and independence - it's because she's always been Kree! Her spirit and never giving in to limitations and expectations - Kree side! Her desire to go into space and do great things - all from Kree mum's side! Everything about Carol Danvers - everything we've known about Earth's mightiest hero - is because she's half-Kree from birth! Her humanity never meant shit! She's always been special not by her own efforts and merits, but because of alien genetics! Humans have never been capable of being anything like her. No one is an alien like her, so they should never try. Sucks to be them!
Just... why can't coincidences happen anymore? Whatever happened to the underdog story, and its appeal? What about the hero's journey? The unlikely hero? Why do heroes now have to be special from birth? Due to a prophecy or genetics or some shit that doesn't require them to have to work hard at being a hero? Why the sudden aversion to heroes triumphing against the odds and everything stacked against them, and thus their achievements contain much more gravitas and are all the more spectacular? It's an inspiration story. Anyone in real life is capable of doing something heroic if they try hard enough - and in real life the best heroes are those who come from underprivileged backgrounds. They are the poor, the worthless, the underestimated, the unlikely in society. They are the ones who help make change happen, and make the world a better place for others like them; taking power away from the privileged, the 1%, one step at a time.
This is why I stand by my belief that Rey from the new 'Star Wars' films coming from nothing and being related to no one important, is a good thing. Not only does this make her stand out from the laziness of the prophecy hero archetype that has plagued sci-fi and fantasy films over the years, but it is awe-inspiring to see a hero - a female hero at that - who was born into the poorest of circumstances, but still rises to be powerful regardless. Rey is special because of HER and what she does, what she goes through to become heroic, by her choice, not because of anyone else.
Anyone can be a hero. Fuck the prophecy. And what your parents did before you were born should have no effect on you as your own person.
And this is why Captain Marvel has been ruined for me. Carol Danvers' origin has been completely and unnecessarily changed so that she's now a hero sorely because she's part alien and always has been. It has nothing to do with her human side and what makes her human - her awesomeness is apparently everything to do with her superpowers, her Kree genes. How compelling. Her human half is represented by her abusive, alcoholic dad, after all. So it's okay to dismiss it.
Fuck the ordinary-but-still-great-turned-extraordinary-but-still-hardworking-and-complex hero backstory - make them super duper special from birth! Cliches and trends are easy! Zero in on the effort in writing a hero's journey and development!
Oh, and Carol's Kree name - her real, REAL name - is Car-Ell. Thanks, Marvel, for the finishing blow to Carol Danvers fans, by essentially saying that we'd even been getting her name wrong this whole time, which was kept even from her. Thanks for reminding us of Superman, too. Because fuck originality. Hacks.
What the crap, why didn't Ma Danvers ever mention her Kree heritage to Carol when she first became Ms. Marvel? At no opportunity did she think to tell her daughter the truth, now that her Kree powers have been "activated" (yeah, the retcon/cop out reason for Carol's powers to show up right then is ungodly contrived bullshit). Wouldn't it have been best for her to know everything way back when? Especially since Marie knew that her Kree superiors from her past would find out about Captain Marvel sooner or later. There was no reason for Marie to keep her identity a secret for this long.
This is what happens when you go through with a retcon this huge and not properly consider the repercussions. You leave behind plot holes that can be seen from space, and a pissed off fanbase. Think about what you are doing, why you are doing it, and what effect it will have both in-universe and on your readers.
This change is fanfiction levels of awful. It is stupid, and overall POINTLESS!
IT DIDN'T NEED TO BE THERE. WHY COULDN'T CAROL HAVE HAD NORMAL, RELATABLE FAMILY PROBLEMS!? THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN MUCH BETTER AND MADE FOR A MUCH MORE POWERFUL ARC FOR OUR SUPERHEROINE! THIS IS INSANE!
Just... WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!??????????????????????????
One other thing to end this rant: Mama Danvers dies in battle in the end, because of course she does. Got to keep those cliches coming! As she's dying Captain Marvel takes her to a lighthouse... because it reminds her of how she met Carol's father, or something, and it is here that Carol realizes that her mother never told her what her mission to earth was to begin with. So, Mari-Ell's tearful answer, and her last words, are:
"It was you. My mission was always... you."
BULLSHIT. Mari-Ell never planned on having any children with an earth mate. This contradicts everything she said about her backstory and in her flashbacks. She came to earth to look for war. She knew only war and suffering. She didn't want to experience love originally. It's merely sentimental, manipulative tripe, written in order to make the reader feel sad for a character who really doesn't deserve it.
It certainly looks like Ms. Stohl was making everything up as she went along. The plot holes and inconsistencies are frustrating. The bad story editing proves that no one must have cared in the making of 'The Life of Captain Marvel'. They just didn't care.
Spoiler end.
Another reason to hate this sodding comic is that Carol's brother, Stevie - who is also dead, we're not told how - is barely mentioned. It has no impact, no emotional weight to Carol's character whatsoever. Her mother doesn't even mention him. What wonderful people.
There's also a completely unnecessary love interest for Carol, Who-Gives-A-Fuck Jr., or something. He's been her creepy stalker since they were kids, and when their town gets attacked by aliens, he says to Carol, and this is a direct quote: "What's the use of this place being the "summer home to a super hero" if you're not gonna come when we're being--" before he is interrupted. What a catch. He's an entitled, passive-aggressive, insulting, dickhead Nice Guy who has no respect for Carol's personal space. The love story is beyond pointless. Carol and WGAF Jr. share nothing and have no chemistry.
But what pisses me off the most, aside from the terrible retcon, is that CAROL NEVER DOES ANYTHING HEROIC THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE COMIC! She doesn't grow, she doesn't become stronger mentally and emotionally, she fails at saving people all the time, and she's an uncertain, pathetic mess the whole time she's at her old home, which is where the plot is set. She achieves nothing; any success against adversity is done by someone else, for her. In fact, it is her fault that the Kree villain comes to earth in the first place, with her hitting that tracking device thing she found in her home.
Way to make your strong female protagonist useless and ineffectual in her own story! It's not like she's an important, established Marvel superhero with her own movie coming up or anything!
The story itself is boring, as well. There are hardly any stakes, the villain isn't memorable or interesting, or a threat worthy of Captain Marvel, who has saved the world multiple times on a massive scale. This is such a disservice.
Right, I'm done.
I am angry enough to boycott Marvel. Again. Maybe the company should bring Kelly Sue DeConnick back, as it seems that Margaret Stohl doesn't know what she's doing with Earth's mightiest hero. I miss the confident, sassy, smart, witty, compassionate, leading, and genuinely heroic Carol Danvers, who I admire to the stars and back. And that damn retcon is a mistake that needs to be undone. It is not canon in my eyes, it can't be.
It seems that ever since Civil War II, Captain Marvel has been broken beyond repair. No one seems to know what to do with her anymore.
'The Life of Captain Marvel' - the final insult.
Let the movie be good, please. I can't stand anymore disappointment.
Final Score: 1/5
EDIT: Tony Stark also mentions Midichlorians un-ironically. This comic is a garbage mine.
EDIT 2: I saw the film, and I'll let my blog post speak for itself:
''Captain Marvel' - it is awesome. It is about women taking back their own power and potential from warmongering men wanting to keep them in their place in a corrupt, violent, domineering system. It is about women supporting and inspiring women, and racism and colonialism. There are more than not one but two black characters AND NONE OF THEM DIE, and I dare anyone to name another movie where a superheroine flies around and fights in space, triumphant and cheerful, by herself as the main hero. She doesn't kill unnecessarily, and no matter how powerful she is, she knows she has nothing to prove to men. It is her heart that is most important. As well as brains, selflessness and piloting skills. Plus, THERE IS NO ROMANCE! IMAGINE, A STRONG FEMALE PROTAGONIST STORY WITH NO ROMANCE IN SIGHT! THAT IN OF ITSELF IS REVOLUTIONARY!
Bottom line, go see it.'
THANK YOU Anna Boden and Ryan Fleck! I can continue loving Captain Marvel again! Screw you, comic.
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