Worst 2 Star Books of 2019

2019 might be my worst reading year yet - along with the worst of many other things. I don't think I've ever rated so many books three stars and two stars within twelve months. A considerable amount I've rated one star as well; enough to write negative reviews of, which I haven't done much of before. I've also never not finished so many books in succession before. I used to hate not finishing a book, but now I think that it's necessary, depending on the person. We all have limitations.

It's been dreadful. But like everything in life it hasn't been all bad. Best to get the negativity over and done with before finishing on the positive for this year.

I've read 229 books in 2019 - going on 230 if I'm lucky and something else comes in the post before the year is out. I'll skip the mediocre three star listings (they're too many anyway), and get right down to the Worst 2 Star Books of 2019 - twenty two in total. These are listed in the order depending on how disappointed, angry, offended, or just bored they made me.





22. The Testaments by Margaret Atwood

Okay, I am cheating here, since I did rate The Testaments three stars originally. But it was a close, generous case, in hindsight, and this won the Best Fiction category on Goodreads, when it really didn't deserve it. Marketing and hype are what got it its votes. It could have been - and should have been - so much better than it was. Read my review here for more of my thoughts on The Testaments. I do need to reread The Handmaid's Tale. Unnecessary sequels are unnecessary - it is possible that The Testaments only exists because of the success of The Handmaid's Tale TV series. Let's just leave the classics alone. It's well written, as is to be expected from Margaret Atwood, but it is rushed, unrealistic, simplistic, and full of wasted potential. It doesn't tell us what we don't already know; and it tells us what we don't need to know.


21. Milly Molly Mandy Stories by Joyce Lankester Brisley 

A classic for babies and little children, but just not for me. For 21st century adult me, it's so dull, generic, and milquetoast - there is no conflict, no effort of investment, barely any creativity and cleverness, in any of these stories. Milly Molly Mandy is far too bland and white for children nowadays. How it has staying power after a hundred years, I'm not sure.


20. Chocolates for Breakfast by Pamela Moore

Starts out interesting and well written, but it loses me halfway through. A good look into an American sixties zeitgeist - in Hollywood and LA specifically - full of spoilt teenagers, drugs and sexual freedom. But it overuses homophobic slurs, and the main character Courtney's crush on her female college teacher goes nowhere and amounts to absolutely nothing. It is semi-autobiographical to be sure, and it can get repetitive and pretentious, with no plot or satisfactory resolutions. I won't say anymore, in respect to its tragic author.


19. Mystic and the Midnight Ride by Stacy Gregg

A tiresome disappointment right after loving another book by the same author, The Princess and the Foal. Too kiddie and generic for me, with girl-hate and a pointless love interest for the prepubescent girl protagonist. I hardly felt a thing with this one, I'm afraid, and I was bored.


18. Journey to the River Sea by Eva Ibbotson

Speaking of bored, wow. This and The Star of Kazan have been on my radar for years, in reading more Eva Ibbotson children's classics. The latter is okay, I thought, with a predictable and lacklustre ending bringing it down, but the former...what actually happened here? Why is Journey to the River Sea so beloved? And it's for children, too? I didn't care enough about it to give it sufficient space in my memory bank. It's not an exciting adventure, in my opinion, but just dull and weak.


17. The Legend of Bold Riley by Leia Weathington, various artists

A graphic novel with an adventurous POC lesbian princess heroine? I should have loved this! But it's underdeveloped and underwhelming. Bold Riley didn't even have her own agency originally - a white man gave her her legendary name and life advice, back at her palace. What the fuck? The stories are not forgettable and can fit into traditional fairy tale lore, but the characters are forgettable. No relationship is developed, and I don't care about anything. What a waste of money.


16. Herland by Charlotte Perkins Gilman

So abortion is an abomination and against every "good" woman's nature, is it? Only good women can have babies, and if she is a bad mother then other women can raise the baby away from her? Sisterhood and progress work well together, but only if they're biologically able to have children? Being a woman is all about motherhood only? Men's reproduction is optional, but male companionship, even after he attempts to rape her, is still preferable to other women's? Yeah, fuck you. I'll only read and like The Yellow Wallpaper by Gilman from now on. Herland is full of gender stereotypes, even if it does offer interesting and relevant social commentary sometimes for a classic. But a lot of aspects haven't aged well.


15. The Paper Bag Princess by Robert Munsch, Michael Martchenko (Illustrator)

THAT'S IT? was my first thought upon finishing this picture book. It's too short, the art is unappealing and dirty, and everything comes too easily for the princess heroine. It might have been feminist for its time, but it's run-of-the-mill now. The princess is barely a rebel until the very end.


14. Starring Sally J. Freedman as Herself by Judy Blume

After Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret, I thought I would give Judy Blume another go. But Starring Sally J. Freedman as Herself has put me off her works completely. There is no plot, everything and everyone is all over the place, and there is latent racism in the implication that Sally Freedman got nits from a black family she sat with on a train. It tries to be tolerant and inclusive for post-WWII historical fiction, but anyone who isn't white is barely given the time of day. An accurate look at childhood, I suppose, but not to be read and be excited about.


13. Old Baggage by Lissa Evans

I'd been looking forward to reading Old Baggage after seeing it in my local Waterstones bookshop. Historical fiction about a UK former suffragette's look at progress and times' past - yes please! But for a story with a middle aged, childless and single female protagonist, who was a suffragette, who wants to help girls and women out in her local area, there is some internalised misogyny going on. And preference for boy children. Oh, and the only LBGTQ character - she's dead at the end of the book. For fuck's sake, this is a 2018 publication! It's as disappointing as its protagonist is at the state of modern girls and womanhood. Though it is not the worst book about suffragettes containing internalised misogyny that I've read this year. I'll get to THAT one on the next list.


12. Howards End by E.M. Forster

Too stereotypical, sexist and misogynistic for my taste, even for a classic starring female main characters. I've also read A Room with a View and Maurice this year, and I find that E.M. Forster's novels tend to start off strong and powerful, but then loose their steam near the end. He knew how to begin a story, but not really how to finish one. Howards End the house barely even factors into Howards End. Any issues throughout suddenly become non-issues at the end. Seriously, that final chapter is the worst. It's rushed, stupid, lazy and cowardly. But I still respect Forster, and what he had to endure as a closeted gay man in his time.


11. Much Ado About Nothing by William Shakespeare

A reread, and still not impressed. I still can't get over the sexism and slut shaming. And the overt character stupidity. I'm unimpressed by the "witty" Beatrice (no woman is independent in Much Ado), and I hate how docile, passive and pathetic Hero is. A frustrating play by the bard, in my opinion. Too contrived and melodramatic even for Shakespeare. Don't read it, or see it, to learn what love is, I beg you.


10. Brave Margaret: An Irish Adventure by Robert D. San Souci, Sally Wern Comport (Illustrator)

A picture book that's proto-Brave? Hardly. A bored and stupid male-dependent woman falls in love with the first handsome man she sees and immediately goes along on an adventure with him, and only vaguely becomes a hero by the end; with the man's help, that is. And a not-so-evil witch dies. Ends with wedding bells. That's it. Margaret is only brave and strong because of a man. How progressive! Nice art, however.


9. Private - Keep Out! by Gwen Grant

An even worse version of Starring Sally J. Freedman as Herself. Even less happens here, and it is so boring! Maybe there is a reason this had been forgotten about and left out of print until recently. Yeah, these kinds of children's books are not my cup of tea.


8. Terminal Alliance by Jim C. Hines

I hate to do this to Jim C. Hines, in light of a personal tragedy of his this year, but I just found Terminal Alliance to be a great idea (space janitors turned heroes, oh my! Take that, class divide!) that's executed with not-so great and unexciting writing. I admit to skimming most of it. It's too long, and the main female character, Mops, is definitely a Mary Sue. She has no flaws, and can do anything - even quickly and suddenly captain a spaceship, which she had no experience with before. The "twist" is predictable and disappointingly xenophobic for a sci-fi story. As if humans can't fuck themselves up on their own! No, it ALWAYS has to be space aliens who are responsible for both the progress and the destruction of the human race - we can't achieve anything by ourselves! I hate this trope so much. But hey, how many science fiction books do I read anyway? Terminal Alliance at least has a capable female protagonist. I wish it could have been written in a more engaging way. I'm sure I'm missing out other details, but I can't remember them. Another boring skim read.


7. The Grief Keeper by Alexandra Villasante

Everything you need to know about this book is written in my review here. One of the biggest disappointments of 2019.


6. Becoming the Villainess by Jeannine Hall Gailey

This should have come with multiple trigger warnings. Or if it did, I barely remember them being present. Becoming the Villainess, instead of being a fairy tale, Greek mythology, and pop culture feminist empowerment poetry klaxon, is just an unpleasant and confusing mess. I've blocked out most of it from my memory, likely for good reasons.


5. Out of Salem by Hal Schrieve

This is just gross. Fantastic rep by an #ownvoices trans and non-binary author - every character is diverse - but something about the writing was off putting to me. I couldn't enjoy it. No one is very likeable. Well, what did I expect from a book starring two protagonists, a zombie and a werewolf, I guess. Plus the ending is confusing as hell. Too ambiguous, and a cop out. A shame because we need more of this kind of representation in the fantasy genre. Awkward, grey, gross, and unfinished would be words that I would describe Out of Salem to a T.


4. The Dark Lord Clementine by Sarah Jean Horwitz

Now THIS is what I call disappointing! I happened upon The Dark Lord Clementine on Amazon, and the cute, colourful and cartoony cover, and the amazing children's fantasy premise, made me buy it almost immediately. I should have adored it. It should have been like Castle Hangnail, but better! But no! It wasn't! Clementine, who should've been my lovely blue-haired antiheroine after my own heart, isn't a strong and wilful badass daughter of an evil lord of a land, but a pathetic child. She isn't smart or witty or assertive, but a shy, overly-dependent doormat. Other characters get more page time and development than she does, and they're not exactly likeable either. Practically every female main character is a stupid crybaby; one of whose motivation makes no sense. The Dark Lord Clementine tries to be feminist, but it misses the mark on making the female leads at least consistent, with solid characterisation, and a reason for the reader to care about them. I've seen these types of poorly written women and girls before too many times. The Dark Lord Clementine - nice fantasy elements, with mermaids, unicorns, and King Arthur references, such as a Lady in the Lake who throws swords to anyone. To its credit, it can be funny at times. But I couldn't care less about the characters, and it is super safe at the end - with a gigantic cop out and fuck-you to the reader, where no one dies. Yeah, spoiler, but again, I don't care. Kids deserve better feminist entertainment than this.


3. Rose Rivers by Jacqueline Wilson

One of my lead ins to being done with Jacqueline Wilson for good. A cute historical fiction children's book turns absolutely nasty, ugly and uncomfortable at the end. Why was that downer ending necessary? And after such a long book at that!? I don't even care anymore if there is going to be a sequel. It won't be worth it, I know for certain. Poor Rose, nothing is your fault. You are only a child living in the Victorian patriarchy. You deserve better. Also typical of Jacqueline Wilson books, the mother is awful. Heck, nearly all of the women are awful. Let the professional men handle things! Male doctors always know better than female medics! Feminism!


2. These Witches Don't Burn by Isabel Sterling

Another very disappointing YA novel. A YA witch novel, too. Why does witch media keep disappointing me? I didn't care for this at all. There's nothing new, surprising or special about it. The witch teens themselves are absolutely useless and need rescuing by adults via pure luck at the end. They're not capable and independent heroines. And it contains a fantasy and sci-fi trope that I abominably loathe - the violation of a person's free will without thought or consequence. This is done to the protagonist by her own mother - right after the mother scolded her for using a love charm to get information from others, and then the mother uses the same charm to force information out of her own daughter! The fucking nerve! The fucking hypocrite! This is never called out on in writing. Ever. It's a given in the book. In any kind of reality, this violation of your child's emotions and thoughts - using a truth serum - would be called abuse. But it is dropped in and never come back to in These Witches Don't Burn. That was when I knew I would hate it. Apart from that it's just boring and common, even with the LBGTQ content. Urgh!


1. Fireweed by Jill Paton Walsh

Read my review here. Utterly infuriating. Utterly sexist and crap. I don't care that it's a classic - there are far better WWII books for young readers out there.





More lists coming soon.