Thursday 14 December 2017

Scribble #64

"How Black People Had to Step In and Fix White People's Stupid Fucking Mistakes" - the accurate title of practically every history book, past and future.



"It means he likes you" - No. No no no no no. Stop it. Stop this phrase right now. Kill it with a 21st century domestic abuse statistic, along with every sexual harassment and assault statistic. Bullying is inexcusable, and on what planet does it mean that said bully "likes" the victim in any way? This lie, one of the many starting points of male privilege, begins in preschool:

"Oh he teases you, it just means he likes you." "Oh he undermines and laughs at you whenever you put your hand up and answer a question correctly, of course it means he likes you!" "Oh he calls you nasty names, pulls your hair, steals all your crayons, and pulls your skirt up to show his mates your panties and laughs, don't worry, it means he likes you." "Oh he deliberately tripped you in the playground, that's just his way of saying he likes you, for he doesn't know how to communicate with you because you're a girl." "Oh he threw a stapler at your head and laughed when you cried and bled everywhere. But it's okay, because that means he likes you!"

"Be grateful that he's giving you any attention! Why would he do these things to you unless he likes you!? What, you expect us to do anything about it? Er, nah, because, eh, he likes you, and that's all that matters."

It all starts in the playground, and it's true. It is one of the things that sets off the cycle of abuse. Even if boys were horrible to girls because they like them, surely it's the adult's job to teach them that it's wrong to treat other human beings horrendously. Teach them better, more human communication skills, and values such as respect and kindness. Niceness isn't an unnatural characteristic in a boy.

"It means he likes you" - Stop encouraging this childish sort of behaviour. It's a lazy scapegoat in a culture that automatically puts male comfort over a female's. It places boys as thoughtless neanderthals and animals who can't possibly change so we let them get away with anything, and girls as battered victims trained to put up with boys' shit their whole lives.

No wonder society has so little respect for women if men, in the patriarchy, grew up thinking that women like being treated no better than slaves - after all, they weren't punished for mistreating girls when they were younger, and the girls were constantly told that anyone who mistreated them did so because they liked them, so no harm no foul; all for the best, right? For those stupid, overly-emotional girls are always overreacting and reading too much into things. This can result in these men feeling entitled, and thinking that they can get away with bullying as adults, too, as women's views and feelings don't matter at all. And the horrifying thing is, they're right.

I'm rambling, but I had to get this off my chest. Just like "Boys will be boys", "It means he likes you" absolutely needs to end. They're nothing more than excuses to not do anything; to not change the status quo. They're not right, they're not okay - stop twisting them to make them that way. These phrases are harmful - and we teach them to children as young as three, for fuck's sake - a product of a misogynistic cultural landscape. They contribute to rape culture.

I've said my piece.

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