Ready Player One Read-Through: Chapter 38

Content warning: sexism, misogyny, racism, references to virginity and double standards.



We're very close... we're almost there...

Two chapters left.

Let's do this.





Wade can't communicate with his friends. He'll have to win this abso-bloody-lutely-the-last-stage-of-the-game-ever on his own. What challenges will he face? All his, ahem, hard work and *snort* sacrifices have been leading up to this climactic moment. The final boss battle, as it were. Will Sorrento also show up? Will he be the final boss - a metaphorical one? Will it be a battle of wits? Of emotion? Of self-reflection? Six years, and a winner - the person to own the OASIS and Halliday's billions - will finally be decided.

It's about guessing a password on a computer. Then playing another arcade game.

Aaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnddddddd that's it.

We get more Atari and game console porn, before Wade finds a "working" computer; which he points out is the same model as Matthew Broderick's computer in Wargames. Still on that one, are we?

He tries every password he can think of - which relates to what Halliday loved the most. Well, since Halliday only loved himself, this shouldn't be too hard.


I tried each of his parents' names. I tried ZAPHOD, the name of his pet fish. Then TIBERIUS, the name of a ferret he'd once owned. (Page 361)


What? Halliday had a ferret? That's the first mention of it in the book.

Like with Halliday's and Wade's apparent guitar skills, it comes out of nowhere and leads nowhere. It's like the author was making these details up as he went along. I mean, a ferret is quite an unusual and exotic pet to have - it wouldn't go unnoticed or shrugged off as a trivial thing. Though I am aware that a lot of rich or otherwise eccentric Americans own unusual (and often dangerous) pets. And is Tiberius a reference to Captain Kirk?

A fish called Zaphod. I know that is supposed to be funny.

Wade is running out of time; many Sixers are currently in his situation in other copies of Halliday's office. I don't know, they weren't very fast at catching up with him before, so I'm sure he'll pull through. Or there might finally be a shocking story twist around the corner--


Then I remembered a line from Ogden Morrow's biography: The opposite sex made Jim extremely nervous, and Kira was the only girl that I ever saw him speak to in a relaxed manner. But even then, it was only in-character, as Anorak, during the course of our gaming sessions, and he would only address her as Leucosia, the name of her D&D character.
    I rebooted the computer again. When the LOGIN prompt reappeared, I typed in LEUCOSIA. Then I hit the Enter key.
    Every system in the room powered itself on. The sounds of whirring disk drives, self-test beeps, and other boot-up sounds echoed off the vaulted ceiling. (Page 361)


Women - if they're not Manic Pixie Dream Girls, fridged, or mothers, or all the above, then they're insecure white men's muses! Woody Allen would be proud.

The name of a male's love interest as a password to a computer system is such a creepy stalker cliche. Halliday was so out of touch with reality that he never even referred to his crush by her name (Kira or Karen, she apparently had a lot of names), but by her fictional D&D character name. Because his brain was deeply rooted in games, always; and Kira was a "game" or "challenge" or "puzzle" to him. I bet he never referred to any of his guy friends by their D&D identities.

This is not cute. Halliday, among so many other things, was a creepy obsessive stalker, and an insecure, borderline psychopath and misogynist. And Wade is following right in his footsteps.

Speaking of, Wade plays a game of Adventure on the turned-on Atari 2600. It only takes him one paragraph to complete it. Stop with the boring, effortless gameplay! It is written in passive narration, and then BOOM - the egg appears as a glitch at the end credits.

FINALLY! This ending is dragging out longer than in Return of the King.

He ends up holding the "large silver egg" in his cupped hands.

Yey.

He enters Anorak's wizard study in Castle Anorak (which has been restored, along with everything else that the Catalyst destroyed. Okay), where Anorak/Halliday appears. He gives Wade his "power" via blue lightning bolts - and now Wade is the master of the OASIS.

Yey.


I looked down at my own avatar and discovered that I was now wearing Anorak's robes. Then I realized that the icons and readouts around the edge of my display had also changed. My stats were all completely maxxed out, and I now had a list of spells, inherent powers, and magic items that seemed to scroll on forever. (Page 363)


Our "hero", whom we've been barely tolerating for 363 pages, is officially Halliday's clone.

Can't you tell how invested, excited, satisfied and overwhelmed I am right now?


And my credit readout now displayed a number twelve digits long. I was a multibillionaire.
    "I'm entrusting the care of the OASIS to you now, Parzival," Halliday said. "Your avatar is immortal NS ll-powerful. Whatever you want, all you have to do is wish for it. Pretty sweet, eh?" He leaned toward me and lowered his voice. "Do me a favor. Try and use your powers only for good. OK?" (Page 363)


"use your powers only for good", huh? Like you, you twisted fuck?

PEOPLE HAVE DIED BECAUSE OF YOUR STUPID, CHILDISH, SELF-INDULGENT, SELF-PITYING, NARCISSISTIC, AND MENTALLY, EMOTIONALLY AND PHYSICALLY HARMFUL AND DANGEROUS COMIC BOOK SUPERVILLAIN'S PLOT! NO MATTER WHICH WAY YOU LOOK AT IT, YOU'RE THE VILLAIN OF READY PLAYER ONE! THIS. IS. ALL. YOUR. FAULT! YOU ARE A MONSTER WHO WILLINGLY ISOLATED HIMSELF TO PLAY VIDEO GAMES HIS WHOLE LIFE, BECAUSE REAL LIFE IS HARD, MAN! TALKING TO GIRLS IS HARD, MAN! HALLIDAY TRIED EVERYTHING POSSIBLE TO CUT HIMSELF OFF FROM HUMANITY - TO MAKE HIMSELF NOT HUMAN.

Fucking hell!

Sure, Wade won't be easily corrupted by billions of dollars and literally everybody in the world's lives in his hands! He can be trusted! As we've seen! Giving that much power to a nineteen-year-old, barely-educated, selfish, obsessive, and sociopathic white male gamer and '80s pop culture junkie with no sense of reality whatsoever is totally fine!

White guy catering and toxic nostalgia go hand-in-hand.

Halliday's avatar shows the almighty-god Wade Watts the "Big Red Button," which is used to erase the entire OASIS, shutting down it and all of its source codes and GSS server data forever, should the need ever arise. Really, this is the smartest thing in the whole novel.


Halliday slid the bookshelf back into place, concealing the button once again. Then he startled me by putting his arm around my shoulders. "Listen," he said, adopting a confidential tone. "I need to tell you one last thing before I go. Something I didn't figure out myself until it was already too late." He led me over to the window and motioned out at the landscape stretching out beyond it. "I created the OASIS because I never felt at home in the real world. I didn't know how to connect with the people there. I was afraid, for all of my life. Right up until I knew it was ending. That was when I realized, as terrifying and painful as reality can be, it's also the only place where you can find true happiness. Because reality is real. Do you understand?"
    "Yes," I said. "I think so."
    "Good," he said, giving me a wink. "Don't make the same mistake I did. Don't hide in here forever." 
(Page 364)


Nice tacked-on, last minute message there. When the book gave us nothing but how great it is to escape reality. To never go outside. Halliday still forced a global change in reality with his OASIS!

He admits to creating the OASIS to begin with for himself. For his insecure needs. And from that, an evil seed spread into an apocalypse where no one can experience reality anymore. With his egg hunt he made sure that no one would be part of the real world anymore, thus dooming it and humanity to extinction via sloth and neglect.

In a way, he had sunk indefinitely into depression and his perceived, untreated mental illness - and he had taken everyone in the whole world down with him.

And so Halliday's avatar, Anorak, fades away forever. Good riddance. Except nothing changes because Wade is in charge now, and he's still a kid!

Yeah, seriously, nothing changes. Wade now has everything that Halliday had. What makes him special? What makes him different from the original almighty nostalgia and internet dictator? Is it that Wade will get the girl? That he is the nerd that will get laid?

Because while it isn't plainly stated, it is heavily implied plenty of times in the book that Halliday had died a virgin. As if his desperate and pathetic diatribe about the awesomeness of masturbation in chapter 19 didn't give it away. It is his sex life, or lack of, that is deemed his only flaw! In-universe!

What the fuck kind of message are you sending here, Cline? Virginity isn't real - it's a socially, religiously, and culturally-invented shaming and leveling-up device used to uphold sexist double standards - and whether someone has sex or not does not define someone's morality! It has nothing to do with good or bad people. (Unless the issue of consent comes up, of course).

It is yet another socially-awkward nerd stereotype. Played to the extreme. And meant to shame men and boys (heterosexual, mainly) for not "getting some", or some other misogynistic bullshit phrases enabling the "Boys will be boys" mentality that needs to die now.

When putting all of this into consideration, Art3mis is just a rebooted Kira.

Wade hasn't changed. He has learned nothing, except that talking to real girls is better than masturbatory-fantasy ones.

Suddenly Wade's friends can talk to him again. He has completed the game and the Sixer avatars have been "ejected from the gate", and are standing outside the castle.


They all stared at me in silence for a few seconds, then pulled out guns and swords, preparing to attack. They all looked identical, so I couldn't tell which one was being controlled by Sorrento. But at this point, I didn't really care. (Page 366)


And he kills them. With one touch of an icon on his "new superuser interface".

Wade - with the immortal avatar possessing unlimited power and advantage - doesn't care about wiping out nameless avatar drones. Yep, I'd totally trust him with all of that power and responsibility!

You know that scene in the 2005 Fantastic Four movie, where it is explained that the Human Torch's fire powers can become as hot as the sun? It is stupid and does not explain how he has not destroyed the earth already. It basically means that he'll risk blowing up the entire planet every time he masturbates. It's a similar situation with the now-ridiculously powerful Wade - who can do more than the author had realized, or would ever admit to. Only it is set in a virtual world... which has great ties to the real world, and is very close to how humanity functions as a society in this dark future.

Wade is not just a Gary Stu now - he has become essentially Ready Player One's answer to god. A self-made god in a pro-atheist novel. A self-made god from playing video games and sitting on his arse watching films and TV all his life. So wealthy, so powerful, so influential. So young.

I pity him more than worship him, myself.

Wade wishes for all the avatars who died to be resurrected - and it works! He is a god! Who gets to decide who lives and who dies! A living deus ex machina!

Everyone except Art3mis appears. Shoto says "Arigato, Pazival-san!" and bows low. As I've said, nothing has changed. Aech, in her male avatar form, is addressed using male pronouns by Wade again. I've used up all of my rage regarding her racial and gender fuckup of a character tons of times.

My next bout of hot fury concerns Art3mis's character.


"She didn't log back in," Aech said. "she said she wanted to go outside and get some fresh air."
    "You saw her? What--?" I searched for the right words. "How did she look?"
    They both just smiled at me; then Aech rested a hand on my shoulder. "She said she'd be outside waiting for you. Whenever you're ready to meet her." (Page 367)


...
...
...

I'm... really not liking where this is going.

Next chapter coming soon.

Those were most definitely not the "right words", Wade. After all this time, after what you've told us, you still only care about her looks. A woman's hotness meter is what matters to you.

How mature and grown-up our Wade has become as a result of this mature, tough and challenging journey.

Repetitive dialogue once more, too.

Newsfeeds show that Sorrento has been arrested for murder in the real world. He's rich and powerful, and can afford the world's best lawyers, so he'll probably be acquitted of all charges soon. But Aech points out that "so can we." Afford lawyers, that is. Because Wade won the contest and the OASIS, he and his pals are rich and powerful, too.

Remember kids, money is everything! It can solve all of your problems!

Those without money or not much of it? Fuck them, you need not concern yourself with the underprivileged. Being rich is about you and your needs, plus those of your closest friends. And family, if you have any. Wade doesn't.

I'm sure nepotism won't come of this leadership arrangement.

End of chapter 38.

WOW! That was stupendously underwhelming. No last stand, or conflict with the designated villain in real life, or anything. That particular trial will happen after the book is over! A cop out and a half. How lazy.

The final chapter - and my final rant - are next. Ooooooooooooooohhhhhhhh are we in for a final rant. To end this bullshit once and forever.

Then I'll be free!



I'll end this post with a Ready Player One sequel suggestion:

It's a fully-realized and intentional dystopian future, where either Wade or his descendants have complete totalitarian control of the OASIS, humanity's only acceptable reality, while the world burns. It had bought out IOI and is the new corrupt multi-billion dollar corporation. Everybody is forced to live out the 1980s over and over again, throughout each subsequent generation. Geekdom is limited to the '80s (and a few '90s) popular and obscure zeitgeist. Every other pop culture reference is outlawed. Anything newly created is outlawed. Every avatar has to be white, and men are given more power, attention and influence than women, who are literally reduced to sex objects who exist only for het male pleasure and procreation. Sticking to the past is dooming the future. Escaping from reality, and avoiding responsibility; these are killing life on earth, and damaging progress. All hope seems lost. Until a young, queer female POC decides that enough is enough; that she'll take charge of this story - of her own story, where she is allowed to be the main hero. Who ends up saving the world from the OASIS and the Watts' toxic, retrograde control.



EDIT: For six years Wade has been absorbing every single, intricate '80s pop culture thing that Halliday liked - as he is a "Halliday scholar" - over and over again, risking his health and sanity in the process, in preparation for succeeding in the Easter egg hunt/contest. Now that he has completed it, he is told that his vast knowledge means nothing now. It won't really help him in the long run in controlling all of the OASIS. It was all about becoming Halliday's clone all along. Isn't that like studying for a PHD in thermodynamics for six years, only to then be told that thermodynamics are rendered obsolete and you've wasted your time? At best you're a history scholar of outdated junk food? Halliday was a dick.