Ready Player One Read-Through: Chapter 34

Content warning: sexism, references to misogyny and racism.



Okay, I've calmed down, somewhat. Getting through it.

Wade's avatar is "armed to the teeth" and balls. He uses his Leopardon robot toy - activated to turn into a giant robot mech - to travel to the planet Chthonia, complete with an AC/DC soundtrack, instead of a Japanese show soundtrack. He is somehow able to control his mech smoothly, even though the control console buttons are all labeled in Japanese.

The planet is absolutely surrounded by gunters inside giant robots and spaceships. People are trying to hail him, jealous of his mech. Art3mis, Shoto and Aech/Helen are already positioned outside the Sixers' shield, inside their own giant robots, gained from completing the Second Gate.

It is the final battle. Well, sort of.

I don't care anymore. I have no energy left to care.

All of the gunters have shown up, just like Wade had predicted and hoped for. Of course. Gary Stu is always right. No worries for him.


This was my first opportunity to see which robots Aech, Art3mis, and Shoto had selected after clearing the Second Gate, and it took me a moment to place the towering female robot Art3mis was piloting. It was black and chrome in color, with elaborate boomerang-shaped headgear and symmetrical red breastplates that made it look like a female version of Tranzor Z. Then I realized it was the female version of Tranzor Z, an obscure character from the original Mazinger Z anime series known as Minerva X. (Page 329-330)


(=sigh=) Priorities, Wade.

In the words of Harry Potter: "Oi! There's a war going on, here!"

With the exception of Art3mis's female-led TV uploads on YouTube mentioned in chapter 20, Minerva X and She-Ra are the only pop culture main female characters referenced in Ready Player One. Both of them are distaff counterparts to male or male-passing heroes.

"Obscure", my arse.

Was Minerva X the only female-presented robot in the row of toys at the end of the Black Tiger game? Did Art3mis, desperate for female representation (not that she'd be allowed to admit it, of course), have to grasp at straws? Was she disappointed that there was no other choice for her? Like she was clearly disappointed that she couldn't play Ally Sheedy in the Wargames simulation?

Feminism in the '80s and 2040s!


Aech had selected an RX-78 Gundam mech from the original Mobile Suit Gundam anime series, one of his longtime favorites. (Even though I now knew Aech was actually a female in real life, her avatar was still male, so I decided to continue to refer to him as such.) (Page 330)


(=pinches bridge of nose=)

Wade, did you ask Helen first if she still wanted to be called Aech in the OASIS? Did that bit of courtesy even occur to you?

The white boy is deciding a black woman's perceived name and gender for her, without asking her, because it makes him comfortable.

What an awful, awful, awful person he is.

How does Helen/Aech feel about this, anyway? We never find out. Her feelings don't matter. In the OASIS - in Ready Player One - anybody who isn't straight, white and male don't matter. They only exist to serve straight white males; help them with their stories.

That is white male supremacist bullshit right there.


A roar swept through the crowd as I flew in low over the shield and rocketed to a halt above the others. I rotated my orientation so that Leopardon was upright, then cut the engines and dropped the remaining distance to the surface. My robot landed on one knee, and the impact shook the ground. As I stood it upright, the sea of onlookers began to chant my avatar's name. Par-zi-val! Par-zi-val! (Page 330)


Yes, bow down before your messiah, lord and saviour - Wade Watts! All are now his worshipers and arse-kissers!

His God-Mode will start running on fumes and farts before long.

The top four gunters make two Star Wars references in one page ("Han will have that shield down," and "I've got a bad feeling about this,"), then Sorrento's avatar shows up outside of Castle Anorak. He speaks, and Wade calms down all the thousands of raging gunters/fanboys to silence just by lifting his robot's hands. Of course, he's the messiah, remember? In fact, he is the only one who gets to talk to Sorrento.

The bad guy then gets out his own giant robot - the Mechagodzilla, the biggest one in the OASIS. Other Sixers bring out their own robots, and it is anime and pop culture heaven (there are Robotech and Neon Genesis Evangelion mechs). Or hell, in this case.

There's going to be a giant robot anime fight in book form.

But it'll have to wait.

For it turns out, back in the IOI prison, Wade had programmed a Johnny Five robot to blow up the shield from the inside, I am not joking. He describes the Sixer's droids' design as "Due to a lack of imagination".

Ha! That is rich coming from this book.

So the battle is finally going to begin. Shit's going down. And I can't help but think: why is there no battle in the real world? It would be much more effective there, with real emotional investment and stakes. There would be real consequences to the violence and destruction. Everything being virtual and fake doesn't resonate with the same impact as a real world hero-vs-villain showdown would.

End of chapter 34. Thank goodness, that turned out to be a shorter post.