Black Cat's Eye (and whisker)

My cat, on my bed, giving me the evil eye like I'm disturbing her. (Notice her single white whisker, too) :D Love ya, Sheba x

Non-Fiction Book Review - 'Craft: How to Be a Modern Witch' by Gabriela Herstik

Read: A non-fiction book about witchcraft published in 2018.



'We're waking up. And with our eyes to the moon we recall the eternal truth.

You are a witch.

You are made of magick.

It's time to remember.'



A fun and informative book, both for new witches and seasoned, experienced ones. There is always more about witchcraft to learn, from different perspectives and all walks of life, after all. 

An interesting magic/positive-energy study guide, featuring black-and-white photographs. And info on ancestral symbols and invocations. And sex magic. The Goddess Selene would be proud. Venus is wondrous as well. Morticia Addams gets a reference - three times the charm!

Not sure about the "magick" spelling, however. Like with "faerie" instead of "fairy", or even "vampyre", it doesn't seem right to me; like an urban, "edgy", new-age appropriation.

I think I will always have a loving fascination with nature, flowers, crystals, astrology, and most prominently, our beautiful moon.

Blessed be.

Final Score: 4/5

My Trip to Penshurst Place and Gardens

Saturday was a treat, with my family xx

My lilies

And other witchy mayhem for my birthday, heh heh

The new 'She-Ra' looks like it's going to be awesome. Noelle Stevenson is awesome. That's all I have to say for now.

27 birthdays, so many moons

It's my birthday today.

I haven't done much reading lately, or much of anything. Right now I've got two weeks off work, and I'm spending it binge-watching Sailor Moon. I've got plenty of plans for the future, including for this blog, and hopefully I'll be able to get something done.

Have a nice day, everyone, and try to stay cool xxx

It's so bloody hot...

Ready Player One Read-Through: Chapter 39

Content warning: sexism, misogyny, references to racism and homophobia.



The final reckoning.





Wade logs out of the OASIS and is greeted by Morrow, who lets him know that GSS executives and Halliday's lawyers are waiting for him. Important stuff. For grown-ups. But Wade's priorities are as off-kilter as ever, and he wants to see Art3mis, in the flesh. And Morrow encourages him.


"Thanks, Og," I said. "I owe you one."
    "Nonsense!" he said. "I  should be thanking you. I haven't had this much fun in decades! You did good, kid." (Page 369)


Morrow did nothing during the final battle in the OASIS. As he had said in chapter 33, he just sat back and watched as lives were put in danger. For his amusement. He had fun watching people suffer - for something he could have easily prevented had he been bothered to. All he ever did that was useful was offer safe places for the kids to log into the OASIS.


"Do you know which way Art3mis went?"
    Og grinned at me, then pointed. "Up those stairs and out the first door you see," he said. "She said she'd wait for you at the center of my hedge maze." He smiled. "It's an easy maze. It shouldn't take you very long to find her." (Page 369)


...

...

...

...

...


I am rendered speechless.

The above quote tells you all you need to know about this chapter - the final chapter. It speaks for itself.

Any doubt that Art3mis is nothing but a love interest and walking vagina in Ready Player One is instantly shattered by that quote. Reality sets in, and you realize what Cline has done.

Because he did it. He fucking did it.

Art3mis is literally the gamer Wade's prize - his trophy - in the real world.

She is the beautiful thing waiting ever-so patiently and elegantly for him in the middle of a hedge maze. She wants him to come to her, like Penelope pining for Odysseus after his ordeals. This is played out exactly like how a video game would, once the last level is finished by the player. If the OASIS is Wade's prize in the virtual world, then Art3mis - a human being - is his prize in the real world. His first kiss and lay are the final achievement points.

Art3mis is Princess Peach to Wade's Mario.

Make no mistake: this is intentional. A woman prize, deliberately placed by the author in a maze, waits for the triumphant hero, while sitting on a stone bench, near a fountain, looking pretty and ethereal to the hero. Meaning: sexually available at long last.

The scene drags this out melodramatically, like we're suppose to care that they get together. I mean, come on!

Yes, Art3mis is still a video game trophy even if she was never technically a damsel in distress. Though Wade's warning email to her about the Sixers' kidnapping and murdering plot did end up saving her life. Plus Morrow's refuge.

Strong, smart, independent woman, MY. FUCKING. ARSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WE DIDN'T EVEN GET TO SEE HER FIGHT! EVER!

I could have mentioned this at anytime in the book; I did mention it in the introduction, but I saved myself from reiterating, until the final, most blatantly sexist chapter ever. And here it is: Feminists love Ready Player One. Well-known feminist writers and reviewers give it five-star ratings on Goodreads and on book jackets. They really like Art3mis and see her as a good if not great female character.

What have you done, Ready Player One? You scare me. You are the harbinger of the apocalypse, as far as I'm concerned.

Wade gets everything he ever wanted. Riches. Power. The girl. The quintessential girl, at that. Freedom to do whatever he wants for the rest of his life. I hate him. I hate him so much. What kind of hero gets everything he wants? Are we seriously meant to root for and look up to this loser/author-insert, male power fantasy?

So, he goes outside, walks through a maze, and at the center, there she is, sitting by the fountain, looking like an ad princess. She is naturally shy, uncomfortable and self-conscious in letting him see her, in their first real meeting. And naturally Wade gets all up in front of her and doesn't respect her personal space.


She looked just as she had in the photo I'd seen. She had the same Rubenesque body. The same pale, freckled skin. The same hazel eyes and raven hair. The same beautiful round face, with the same reddish birthmark. But unlike in that photo, she wasn't trying to hide the birthmark with a sweep of her hair. She had her hair brushed back, so I could see it. (Page 370)


Art3mis still had to conform to Wade's unrealistic feminine beauty standards in order for him to pay any kind of attention to her. He fell for her avatar first and foremost. Like I've said before, her birthmark makes no difference. It is not a flaw. Wade still thinks she's beautiful. That is the exact word he calls her.

Looks are not everything, Wade. You haven't even talked to her yet.

What the hell is a "Rubenesque body"? Meaning round or plump, but in an attractive way? So she is chubby, but sexy, curvy chubby? More of her for him to love? And who outside of a bad YA paranormal romance and a Disney film would describe anyone as having "raven hair"? Wade objectifies every female he meets. And it is the end of the story.

Our hero.

The final, painfully long, sappy and manipulative scene does nothing for the issue of women's low-self-esteem in our sexist, narrow-minded, simple, materialistic and shallow society. Or if it does it makes it worse than it already is.

Regardless of any "real" women not looking 100% perfect in Ready Player One's world, they are still referred to by their looks. By their attractiveness according to heterosexual men, who want to own them. Art3mis's body is being scrutinized and judged at this moment. While she is vulnerable and self-conscious, upon meeting a stranger. Because a woman's perceived sexiness by het men's standards should be all that is important about her.

Real women starve themselves and put their bodies through hell - ultimately erasing themselves, and letting others handle and cut their physical, most intimate parts - in order to achieve a narrow, impossible standard in western culture. A standard shown in images from films, TV, ads, magazines, games, and so much more; bombarding and pressuring women every day of their lives. For it is this "perfection" and "sexiness" and "allure" and "mystery" that will make them loved. That will make men love and pay attention to them. Bonus life achievement if the man is rich and influential and literally treats his woman like a trophy. That is the overall, patriarchal message. That is the message to the girls and women who are reading Ready Player One.

Burn in Hell, Cline. Which in your case would be a world full of diverse pop culture, rich in female, POC and queer leading women, shining like stars. Given the chance they deserve after too long. Equality - oh the horror.

The two talk. I don't care. I don't care about them or their stupid relationship that is 90% fantasy-orientated.

How lucky ducky mucky fucky as well that Wade's twoo wuv is almost the exact same age as him!


I smiled. "We're going to use all of the moolah we just won to feed everyone on the planet. We're going to make the world a better place, right?"
    She grinned. "Don't you want to build a huge interstellar spaceship, load it full of videogames, junk food, and comfy couches, and then get the hell out of here?"
    "I'm up for that, too," I said. "If it means I get to spend the rest of my life with you." 
    She gave me a shy smile. "We'll have to see," she said. "We just met, you know."
    "I'm in love with you."
    Her lower lip started to tremble. "You're sure about that?"
    "Yes, I am. Because it's true." (Page 371)


Oh, you almost had us there, Wade. Thanks for reminding us who you are and where your priorities lie!

You're not in love with her, idiot. Like she said, you've just met. You are living in a fantasy still, even in the real world.

Wade Watts remains a selfish ass who learns nothing, to the very end.

Art3mis/Samantha apologizes for "breaking things off" with him. AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! STOP APOLOGIZING TO HIM! HE HAS NOT EARNED IT! YOU DID THE RIGHT THING! HE'S A DELUDED STALKER!

I'm sick of this. End already!


"Listen," I said. "We can take things as slow as you like. I'm really a nice guy, once you get to know me. I swear." (Page 372)


KILL ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


"Did I mention that I'm also extremely rich?" I said. "Of course, so are you, so I don't suppose that's a big selling point." (Page 372)


ASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


"You don't need to sell me on anything, Wade," she said. "You're my best friend. My favorite person." With what appeared to be some effort, she looked me in the eye. "I've really missed you, you know that?" (Page 372)


END!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Where is all of this coming from? Why does Samantha like Wade? Try answering that question. The reasons that Wade "loves" her are obvious, but what about her feelings towards him? Oh yeah, because the plot says she should "love" the hero back. Because fuck reality.)


Some time later, she leaned over and kissed me. It felt just like all those songs and poems had promised it would. It felt wonderful. Like being struck by lightning.
    It occurred to me then that for the first time in as long as I could remember, I had absolutely no desire to log back into the OASIS. (Page 372)


Well, ain't that Peachy?

Women's responsibility in life is to ground men in reality, or what passes for it; as evident by this ending line.

"like all those songs and poems had promised it would." Like I've stated so many times before, no basis in reality is present anywhere in Ready Player One.

Wade and Samantha don't know each other. She is the only girl his age he's ever known. Sure, these kids' relationship will last! They have a lifetime to talk to one another about '80s pop culture crap and play dated video games together! They share nothing else in common, so that is what I have to go on!

And with that torturous sapfest that would make Mills & Boon throw up, the novel ends.

No last word from Helen, Akihide or anyone else; anyone who is a POC or queer. What they will do with their lives now is rendered unimportant. It was all about the loser nerd Wade getting laid the whole time.

Millions of copies sold and films rights for this reassuring message to het cis white male geeks: that their obsessions and complete lack of social skills and tack will make beautiful girls love them. Beautiful geek girls (but not as geeky or talented as the guys) will love them (for anything other than pretty in a girl is unacceptable, after all). Eventually. They'll see.

Their unhealthy obsessions with gaming, films and TV will also make them richer and more powerful than god. They could rule the world under their terrifying thumb.

As long as they're white, straight and male, of course. Heroes can only be those things.

Wade Owen Watts is a winner, yet the biggest, luckiest loser of all time.

With those parting words, I'm free.



Here is a sample of reviews from Ready Player One's Wikipedia page:


Ready Player One was a New York Times bestseller. Among those praising the book were Entertainment Weekly, The Boston Globe, The A.V. Club, CNN.com, io9, and Boing Boing. USA Today wrote that the novel "undoubtedly qualifies Cline as the hottest geek on the planet right now. NPR said that the book was "ridiculously fun and large-hearted". Cline "takes a far-out premise and engages the reader instantly" with a "deeply felt narrative [that] makes it almost impossible to stop turning the pages." Janet Maslin of The New York Times wrote that "The book gets off to a witty start" but noted that it lacks at least one dimension, stating that gaming had overwhelmed everything else about this book. Rebecca Serle of HuffPost described the book as "the grown-up's Harry Potter" and that it "has it all – nostalgia, trivia, adventure, romance, heart and, dare I say it, some very fascinating social commentary."

The book has been translated into over 20 languages.


And here is a criticism of the film adaptation:


This film received criticism for its lack of character development and its "achingly regressive" view of pop culture fans.


BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I take it that not many film critics have read the book. It sounds like a faithful adaption to me.

Everything about those reviews (except for, partly, Janet Maslin's): I know it's an infuriating, overrated and overused meme and joke, but "I don't want to live on this planet anymore" perfectly describes how I am feeling right now.

I also feel like I'm taking crazy pills.

(Harry Potter is more grown-up than Ready Player One ever hoped to be.)

At the end of his acknowledgements, Ernest Cline writes, "I hope that--like Halliday's hunt-- this book will inspire others to seek out their creations." Yeah, sorry, but this is BS. No doubt that he worked very hard to write Ready Player One, his baby, his passion, his "tribute to geeks"; but it is anything but creative. Anything but new. Anything but inspiring. Unless it's to inspire to resist change and progress, and stick to the comfy past and the status quo.






I'll properly end this post - this project of mine for my blog - by concluding my final thoughts:

Ready Player One is, without a shadow of a doubt, one of the most retrograde, reductionist, desperate, insecure, overrated, cliche-ridden, trope-ridden, unoriginal, unrealistic, unfunny, un-satirical, un-self-aware, dull, ridiculous, contrived, male-catering, male fantasy-indulgent, violence-indulgent, lazy, by-the-numbers, insulting, enraging, sexist, racist, and offensive books I have ever read. And Wade Watts is one of the worst "heroes" I have ever come across in fiction. I don't understand its popularity. Will I, a geek feminist woman, ever?

Dark times are upon us, and this "work of art" is not helping us.

Have a loving, shining, hopeful day. Always try your best to make things better. Everybody deserves better.

Geeks and nerds of all ages, genders, sexes, races, sexual identities, backgrounds, countries, abilities, and knowledge certainly deserve better than Ready Player One. You matter. You are heroes of your own story.

I won't be doing anything more like this. The world is already too full of hatred, anger and negativity. I want to go back to positive stuff, stuff that makes me happy and hopeful. I'm done.



P.S. I will not be reading the sequel.

Ready Player One Read-Through: Chapter 38

Content warning: sexism, misogyny, racism, references to virginity and double standards.



We're very close... we're almost there...

Two chapters left.

Let's do this.





Wade can't communicate with his friends. He'll have to win this abso-bloody-lutely-the-last-stage-of-the-game-ever on his own. What challenges will he face? All his, ahem, hard work and *snort* sacrifices have been leading up to this climactic moment. The final boss battle, as it were. Will Sorrento also show up? Will he be the final boss - a metaphorical one? Will it be a battle of wits? Of emotion? Of self-reflection? Six years, and a winner - the person to own the OASIS and Halliday's billions - will finally be decided.

It's about guessing a password on a computer. Then playing another arcade game.

Aaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnddddddd that's it.

We get more Atari and game console porn, before Wade finds a "working" computer; which he points out is the same model as Matthew Broderick's computer in Wargames. Still on that one, are we?

He tries every password he can think of - which relates to what Halliday loved the most. Well, since Halliday only loved himself, this shouldn't be too hard.


I tried each of his parents' names. I tried ZAPHOD, the name of his pet fish. Then TIBERIUS, the name of a ferret he'd once owned. (Page 361)


What? Halliday had a ferret? That's the first mention of it in the book.

Like with Halliday's and Wade's apparent guitar skills, it comes out of nowhere and leads nowhere. It's like the author was making these details up as he went along. I mean, a ferret is quite an unusual and exotic pet to have - it wouldn't go unnoticed or shrugged off as a trivial thing. Though I am aware that a lot of rich or otherwise eccentric Americans own unusual (and often dangerous) pets. And is Tiberius a reference to Captain Kirk?

A fish called Zaphod. I know that is supposed to be funny.

Wade is running out of time; many Sixers are currently in his situation in other copies of Halliday's office. I don't know, they weren't very fast at catching up with him before, so I'm sure he'll pull through. Or there might finally be a shocking story twist around the corner--


Then I remembered a line from Ogden Morrow's biography: The opposite sex made Jim extremely nervous, and Kira was the only girl that I ever saw him speak to in a relaxed manner. But even then, it was only in-character, as Anorak, during the course of our gaming sessions, and he would only address her as Leucosia, the name of her D&D character.
    I rebooted the computer again. When the LOGIN prompt reappeared, I typed in LEUCOSIA. Then I hit the Enter key.
    Every system in the room powered itself on. The sounds of whirring disk drives, self-test beeps, and other boot-up sounds echoed off the vaulted ceiling. (Page 361)


Women - if they're not Manic Pixie Dream Girls, fridged, or mothers, or all the above, then they're insecure white men's muses! Woody Allen would be proud.

The name of a male's love interest as a password to a computer system is such a creepy stalker cliche. Halliday was so out of touch with reality that he never even referred to his crush by her name (Kira or Karen, she apparently had a lot of names), but by her fictional D&D character name. Because his brain was deeply rooted in games, always; and Kira was a "game" or "challenge" or "puzzle" to him. I bet he never referred to any of his guy friends by their D&D identities.

This is not cute. Halliday, among so many other things, was a creepy obsessive stalker, and an insecure, borderline psychopath and misogynist. And Wade is following right in his footsteps.

Speaking of, Wade plays a game of Adventure on the turned-on Atari 2600. It only takes him one paragraph to complete it. Stop with the boring, effortless gameplay! It is written in passive narration, and then BOOM - the egg appears as a glitch at the end credits.

FINALLY! This ending is dragging out longer than in Return of the King.

He ends up holding the "large silver egg" in his cupped hands.

Yey.

He enters Anorak's wizard study in Castle Anorak (which has been restored, along with everything else that the Catalyst destroyed. Okay), where Anorak/Halliday appears. He gives Wade his "power" via blue lightning bolts - and now Wade is the master of the OASIS.

Yey.


I looked down at my own avatar and discovered that I was now wearing Anorak's robes. Then I realized that the icons and readouts around the edge of my display had also changed. My stats were all completely maxxed out, and I now had a list of spells, inherent powers, and magic items that seemed to scroll on forever. (Page 363)


Our "hero", whom we've been barely tolerating for 363 pages, is officially Halliday's clone.

Can't you tell how invested, excited, satisfied and overwhelmed I am right now?


And my credit readout now displayed a number twelve digits long. I was a multibillionaire.
    "I'm entrusting the care of the OASIS to you now, Parzival," Halliday said. "Your avatar is immortal NS ll-powerful. Whatever you want, all you have to do is wish for it. Pretty sweet, eh?" He leaned toward me and lowered his voice. "Do me a favor. Try and use your powers only for good. OK?" (Page 363)


"use your powers only for good", huh? Like you, you twisted fuck?

PEOPLE HAVE DIED BECAUSE OF YOUR STUPID, CHILDISH, SELF-INDULGENT, SELF-PITYING, NARCISSISTIC, AND MENTALLY, EMOTIONALLY AND PHYSICALLY HARMFUL AND DANGEROUS COMIC BOOK SUPERVILLAIN'S PLOT! NO MATTER WHICH WAY YOU LOOK AT IT, YOU'RE THE VILLAIN OF READY PLAYER ONE! THIS. IS. ALL. YOUR. FAULT! YOU ARE A MONSTER WHO WILLINGLY ISOLATED HIMSELF TO PLAY VIDEO GAMES HIS WHOLE LIFE, BECAUSE REAL LIFE IS HARD, MAN! TALKING TO GIRLS IS HARD, MAN! HALLIDAY TRIED EVERYTHING POSSIBLE TO CUT HIMSELF OFF FROM HUMANITY - TO MAKE HIMSELF NOT HUMAN.

Fucking hell!

Sure, Wade won't be easily corrupted by billions of dollars and literally everybody in the world's lives in his hands! He can be trusted! As we've seen! Giving that much power to a nineteen-year-old, barely-educated, selfish, obsessive, and sociopathic white male gamer and '80s pop culture junkie with no sense of reality whatsoever is totally fine!

White guy catering and toxic nostalgia go hand-in-hand.

Halliday's avatar shows the almighty-god Wade Watts the "Big Red Button," which is used to erase the entire OASIS, shutting down it and all of its source codes and GSS server data forever, should the need ever arise. Really, this is the smartest thing in the whole novel.


Halliday slid the bookshelf back into place, concealing the button once again. Then he startled me by putting his arm around my shoulders. "Listen," he said, adopting a confidential tone. "I need to tell you one last thing before I go. Something I didn't figure out myself until it was already too late." He led me over to the window and motioned out at the landscape stretching out beyond it. "I created the OASIS because I never felt at home in the real world. I didn't know how to connect with the people there. I was afraid, for all of my life. Right up until I knew it was ending. That was when I realized, as terrifying and painful as reality can be, it's also the only place where you can find true happiness. Because reality is real. Do you understand?"
    "Yes," I said. "I think so."
    "Good," he said, giving me a wink. "Don't make the same mistake I did. Don't hide in here forever." 
(Page 364)


Nice tacked-on, last minute message there. When the book gave us nothing but how great it is to escape reality. To never go outside. Halliday still forced a global change in reality with his OASIS!

He admits to creating the OASIS to begin with for himself. For his insecure needs. And from that, an evil seed spread into an apocalypse where no one can experience reality anymore. With his egg hunt he made sure that no one would be part of the real world anymore, thus dooming it and humanity to extinction via sloth and neglect.

In a way, he had sunk indefinitely into depression and his perceived, untreated mental illness - and he had taken everyone in the whole world down with him.

And so Halliday's avatar, Anorak, fades away forever. Good riddance. Except nothing changes because Wade is in charge now, and he's still a kid!

Yeah, seriously, nothing changes. Wade now has everything that Halliday had. What makes him special? What makes him different from the original almighty nostalgia and internet dictator? Is it that Wade will get the girl? That he is the nerd that will get laid?

Because while it isn't plainly stated, it is heavily implied plenty of times in the book that Halliday had died a virgin. As if his desperate and pathetic diatribe about the awesomeness of masturbation in chapter 19 didn't give it away. It is his sex life, or lack of, that is deemed his only flaw! In-universe!

What the fuck kind of message are you sending here, Cline? Virginity isn't real - it's a socially, religiously, and culturally-invented shaming and leveling-up device used to uphold sexist double standards - and whether someone has sex or not does not define someone's morality! It has nothing to do with good or bad people. (Unless the issue of consent comes up, of course).

It is yet another socially-awkward nerd stereotype. Played to the extreme. And meant to shame men and boys (heterosexual, mainly) for not "getting some", or some other misogynistic bullshit phrases enabling the "Boys will be boys" mentality that needs to die now.

When putting all of this into consideration, Art3mis is just a rebooted Kira.

Wade hasn't changed. He has learned nothing, except that talking to real girls is better than masturbatory-fantasy ones.

Suddenly Wade's friends can talk to him again. He has completed the game and the Sixer avatars have been "ejected from the gate", and are standing outside the castle.


They all stared at me in silence for a few seconds, then pulled out guns and swords, preparing to attack. They all looked identical, so I couldn't tell which one was being controlled by Sorrento. But at this point, I didn't really care. (Page 366)


And he kills them. With one touch of an icon on his "new superuser interface".

Wade - with the immortal avatar possessing unlimited power and advantage - doesn't care about wiping out nameless avatar drones. Yep, I'd totally trust him with all of that power and responsibility!

You know that scene in the 2005 Fantastic Four movie, where it is explained that the Human Torch's fire powers can become as hot as the sun? It is stupid and does not explain how he has not destroyed the earth already. It basically means that he'll risk blowing up the entire planet every time he masturbates. It's a similar situation with the now-ridiculously powerful Wade - who can do more than the author had realized, or would ever admit to. Only it is set in a virtual world... which has great ties to the real world, and is very close to how humanity functions as a society in this dark future.

Wade is not just a Gary Stu now - he has become essentially Ready Player One's answer to god. A self-made god in a pro-atheist novel. A self-made god from playing video games and sitting on his arse watching films and TV all his life. So wealthy, so powerful, so influential. So young.

I pity him more than worship him, myself.

Wade wishes for all the avatars who died to be resurrected - and it works! He is a god! Who gets to decide who lives and who dies! A living deus ex machina!

Everyone except Art3mis appears. Shoto says "Arigato, Pazival-san!" and bows low. As I've said, nothing has changed. Aech, in her male avatar form, is addressed using male pronouns by Wade again. I've used up all of my rage regarding her racial and gender fuckup of a character tons of times.

My next bout of hot fury concerns Art3mis's character.


"She didn't log back in," Aech said. "she said she wanted to go outside and get some fresh air."
    "You saw her? What--?" I searched for the right words. "How did she look?"
    They both just smiled at me; then Aech rested a hand on my shoulder. "She said she'd be outside waiting for you. Whenever you're ready to meet her." (Page 367)


...
...
...

I'm... really not liking where this is going.

Next chapter coming soon.

Those were most definitely not the "right words", Wade. After all this time, after what you've told us, you still only care about her looks. A woman's hotness meter is what matters to you.

How mature and grown-up our Wade has become as a result of this mature, tough and challenging journey.

Repetitive dialogue once more, too.

Newsfeeds show that Sorrento has been arrested for murder in the real world. He's rich and powerful, and can afford the world's best lawyers, so he'll probably be acquitted of all charges soon. But Aech points out that "so can we." Afford lawyers, that is. Because Wade won the contest and the OASIS, he and his pals are rich and powerful, too.

Remember kids, money is everything! It can solve all of your problems!

Those without money or not much of it? Fuck them, you need not concern yourself with the underprivileged. Being rich is about you and your needs, plus those of your closest friends. And family, if you have any. Wade doesn't.

I'm sure nepotism won't come of this leadership arrangement.

End of chapter 38.

WOW! That was stupendously underwhelming. No last stand, or conflict with the designated villain in real life, or anything. That particular trial will happen after the book is over! A cop out and a half. How lazy.

The final chapter - and my final rant - are next. Ooooooooooooooohhhhhhhh are we in for a final rant. To end this bullshit once and forever.

Then I'll be free!



I'll end this post with a Ready Player One sequel suggestion:

It's a fully-realized and intentional dystopian future, where either Wade or his descendants have complete totalitarian control of the OASIS, humanity's only acceptable reality, while the world burns. It had bought out IOI and is the new corrupt multi-billion dollar corporation. Everybody is forced to live out the 1980s over and over again, throughout each subsequent generation. Geekdom is limited to the '80s (and a few '90s) popular and obscure zeitgeist. Every other pop culture reference is outlawed. Anything newly created is outlawed. Every avatar has to be white, and men are given more power, attention and influence than women, who are literally reduced to sex objects who exist only for het male pleasure and procreation. Sticking to the past is dooming the future. Escaping from reality, and avoiding responsibility; these are killing life on earth, and damaging progress. All hope seems lost. Until a young, queer female POC decides that enough is enough; that she'll take charge of this story - of her own story, where she is allowed to be the main hero. Who ends up saving the world from the OASIS and the Watts' toxic, retrograde control.



EDIT: For six years Wade has been absorbing every single, intricate '80s pop culture thing that Halliday liked - as he is a "Halliday scholar" - over and over again, risking his health and sanity in the process, in preparation for succeeding in the Easter egg hunt/contest. Now that he has completed it, he is told that his vast knowledge means nothing now. It won't really help him in the long run in controlling all of the OASIS. It was all about becoming Halliday's clone all along. Isn't that like studying for a PHD in thermodynamics for six years, only to then be told that thermodynamics are rendered obsolete and you've wasted your time? At best you're a history scholar of outdated junk food? Halliday was a dick.

Ready Player One Read-Through: Chapter 37

Content warning: sexism.



This is Atari porn - the chapter.

Wade has to play Tempest on a (virtual) old Atari arcade machine. Miraculously, it appears to be the one game in the world that he isn't good at.

Luckily, Art3mis knows about it, and is there to help him out. She had already figured out the clue towards this game's reveal from a quote from Shakespeare's Tempest, on the last page of Anorak's Almanac, apparently. A Shakespeare quote in Ready Player One? Wow. Did not expect that, so points for not being predictable for once. Showing class and taste?

Showing class and taste. Ready Player One? Now that's a laugh.

Art3mis will be instructing Wade on how to play a video game. Hmm, a woman telling a man on a comlink how to play a game - he's out and part of the action, while she is placed in the backseat instead of doing shit herself? Where have I heard that before?

Oh yes, the exact same thing happens in bloody Pixels! This should go without saying, but a good book should not remind me of a bad Adam Sandler comedy!

So did Pixels rip off Ready Player One - before it was even a movie - as well as Futurama?

People begin to praise Art3mis for her smarts, and Wade is not happy:


"I never made that connection either," Aech confessed. "Bravo, Art3mis."
"The game Tempest also appears briefly in the music video for the song 'Subdivisions' by Rush," she added. "One of Halliday's favorites. Pretty hard to miss."
"Whoa," Shoto said. "She's good."
"OK!" I shouted, "It should have been obvious. No need to rub it in!" (Page 351)


What's wrong, Wadie-poo? Feeling emasculated? Don't like that a woman is getting more attention than you? Don't like that she's outwitted you? On something that really should have been obvious?

Seriously, there was no need to shout and lose your temper like that.

Wade and Art3mis are sure in for a healthy relationship.

Art3mis drops some more knowledge about Tempest and how it was played in the '80s.


"Damn, girl," Aech said. "You've got some serious knowledge."
    "Thanks," she said. "It helps to be an obsessive-compulsive geek. With no life." Everyone laughed at that, except me. I was much too nervous. (Page 351)


Not funny. Art3mis just admitted to being a loser like everyone else.

Shame, however, that Wade can't be happy for his love interest for actually having a brain. Does he ever praise her in the book? Immature dick, hating to be outclassed by a girl.

Yeah, this is another video game playing chapter. Yawn. Incredibly underwhelming.

There is mention of how Wade's initials spell out W-O-W. We know. It was obvious already. We get it, Wade is a god!


"Hey, check this out," Art3mis said, reading from her journal. "The creator of Tempest, Dave Theurer, originally got the idea for the game from a nightmare he had about monsters crawling up out of a hole in the ground and chasing him." She laughed her little musical laugh. which I hadn't heard in so long. "Isn't that cool, Z?" she said.
    "That is cool," I replied. Somehow, just hearing her voice set me at ease. I think she knew this, and that was why she kept talking to me. I felt re-energized. I hit the Player One button again and began my third game. (Page 353)


Woman gives emotional support to male hero - just like in every sci-fi movie ever made.

Also, Art3mis is helping Wade cheat. Everyone on his comlink is helping him cheat. I doubt that Halliday intended for the avatar playing this game to receive outsider help. On one of the final games for the Easter egg. Wouldn't he have prevented this?

The Sixers are on their way (finally, Wade has been playing Tempest for an hour!), and Wade finds out from his friends that the whole world can see him be a hero. He's understandably freaked out, at first, losing his stride. But wait for it, it all turns out okay!

Ready Player One - where playing video games saves the world! Where game players are real, world-saving heroes!

Pure fantasy. Pure adolescent male power fantasy - set in and around video games. Just like Pixels.

This is almost adorable.

Wade has to lose from already getting a high score (802,488 points, in case anyone cared), before he is transported into a simulation of Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

Well, this should be interesting! More fun than what we previously had, at least. (points for the Grail reference back in chapter 2 - so that pop culture symbol did hint at something that concerned the plot). Though it does remind me that I could be watching that movie right now, instead of reading this published lite fanfiction.

Apparently Wade can master a British accent as Graham Chapman's King Arthur, and his friends are still helping him out on his comlink - with the lines and such. Still cheating. For the final stage of the egg hunt, Wade is winning by cheating.

How this makes him any different from how the Sixers operate completely went over Cline's head as he wrote this.

It's not like the simulation would have been hard to get through, even if you didn't know Grail by heart - there are a lot of sketches and side-plots in that movie, and they don't include Graham Chapman.

The amusement doesn't last long, sadly. Wade completes the movie simulation and is then transported to a warehouse full of game consoles and computers. Nearly all of the classics are listed. Great, back to more tedium.

It is a recreation of Halliday's office, where he had spent most of his time in before he died. An OASIS immersion rig stands in the middle.


I'd reached the end. This was it. Halliday's Easter egg must be hidden somewhere in this room. (Page 359)


Aren't you clever? How'd you figure that one out?

Can't hear your friends anymore to help you keep cheating? Wade doesn't call for them when he first appears in the room. Must be distracted by all the cluttered-up cartridges, blocky computers, and tangled wires.

But yes - it is the end! It is almost over! Hallelujah I'm nearly free at last!

Ready Player One Read-Through: Chapter 36

Content warning: sexism.



Leftover note: I can't believe this only now just occurred to me, but in chapter 33, how does Helen feel about seeing Wade for the first time? Is he what she expected? The reader is given no insight into her reaction to Wade's appearance. Not in dialogue, not in a raised eyebrow, nothing. It goes to show how very little Cline actually cared about her character - to him, she is the "twist" character. She's female, black, and a lesbian: that's the perceived twist about her. That is not how progress works, Cline. You don't get to pat yourself on the back for your diverse representation when there is nothing to your single, multiple-minorities-for-the-price-of-one character as a person in her own right. That it took me this long to realize all of this, it shows my own privilege, and lackluster efforts in noticing problematic content when it comes to works by male authors. Make an effort, and put yourself in the shoes of characters who don't look like you, Cline. Tokenism doesn't count as positive rep.



The Sixers had blown up the area surrounding the Third Gate. Everything is a wasteland, like after a nuclear explosion, and every avatar around is dead. The Sixers' Catalyst Chekhov's Gun waaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyy back in chapter 21 has finally been used!

Everything is destroyed - except for the Third Gate.

And Wade's avatar.

Yep, for as it turns out, that coin that he won waaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyy back in chapter 22, when he played Pac-Man, was an extra life!

Deus ex machina! No, it's the deus ex machina to end all deus ex machinas!

His luck is an endless cheat code.

I am actually reading a book where playing a game of Pac-Man saves a life.

Wade is seriously the only gunter ever - out of thousands - to have founded the Pac-Man game on Archaide and play a perfect game. He's so special, isn't he?

He just forgot about the coin and the Pac-Man episode - fifteen chapters ago - until now. This is not the fun kind of stupid; it's just stupid.

So Gary Stu  - the only avatar left alive in pretty much the entire OASIS sector - is fine, except he has no more armour and inventory. He is back to square one. But he's not alone - for Morrow/Og logs Samantha//Art3mis, Helen/Aech, and Akihide/Shoto into Wade's audio and video feeds, from the real world.


"Where are you?" I asked the empty air.
"I'm dead, like everyone else," Aech said. "Everyone but you."
"Then how can I hear you?"
"Og patched all of us into your audio and video feeds," she said. "So we can see what you see and hear what you hear.
"Oh," I said.
"Is that alright with you, Parzival?" I heard Og ask. "If it isn't, just say so."
I thought about it for a moment. "No, it's fine with me," I said. (Page 345)


Now, it is Wade who has no privacy from the others - others whose personal, private files he had unhesitantly read without their permission. The irony is lost on Cline.

Also, because Helen/Aech sounds like a woman now, he refers to her by female gender pronouns from now on. He still calls her Aech, though. He is a simpleton, isn't he?

I hope Helen will create a new avatar that is female, and a POC. Sadly, no such thing occurs in the actual book. She has no character arc. It is all about the white boy Wade, and her literal purpose is to serve him; to help him achieve his goal.

What a progressive book Ready Player One is.

Morrow/Og speaks to Wade, too, but only for one line. Welp, he was no help.

After everyone says once again how lucky Wade is - he's pretty much become Jesus at this point, what with the resurrection metaphor and all - he tries to reach the Third Gate, which is suspended very high above him. More Sixers will be on their way, with their own copies of the Crystal Key, and will be able to enter the Gate no problem. The stakes would have seemed high this time, and shown Wade to be in a very tricky situation... if there weren't artifacts lying around the area. Like in a bloody video game!

Any one of the items left over by the dead avatars could help our lucky protag. He can't use Ultraman, at least, because the Beta Capsule is a one-day-use item.

He uses Art3mis's Black Chuck Taylor All Stars sneakers to reach the Gate. He's fine, as usual.

But before he gets on with it, he gives not one, but two hero speeches:


"I just wanted to say that I know how the three of you must feel right now. It isn't fair, the way this has played out. We should all be entering the gate together. So before I go in, I want you guys to know something. If I reach the egg, I'm going to split the prize money equally among the four of us." (Page 348)


His friends don't believe that he could ever do anything so selfless (I can't blame them). After Wade assures them that he needs their help to win the egg regardless - and when Art3mis dares him to put his promise "in writing" - he gives his second speech, for a live broadcast on his YouTube channel (he let's us know he has over two million viewers from around the world now, gotta love his modesty):


"Greetings," I said. "This is Wade Watts, also known as Parzival. I want to let the whole world know that if and when I find Halliday's Easter Egg, I hereby vow to split my winnings equally with Art3mis, Aech, and Shoto. Cross my heart and hope to die. Gunter's honor. Pinky swear. All of that crap. If I'm lying, I should be forever branded as a gutless Sixer-fellating punk." (Page 349)


Oh, that honorable, noble Wade.

He's still a bastard.

A white male hero, like in every '80s movie. Like in every movie.

I can see why this was optioned for a film.


As I finished the broadcast, I heard Art3mis say, "Dude, are you nuts? I was kidding!"
"Oh," I said. "Right. I knew that." (Page 349)


Yeah, can you get on with it, already? Why haven't the Sixers shown up yet?

Oh, right, Wade is a Gary Stu in God Mode and his luck is neverending. And the story loves him too much for any inconvenience, challenge or conflict to happen to him. Gotcha.

Sweet, modest cheerleader Art3mis. Who demands absolutely nothing from a guy. Who never says what she means. Not to Wade, whom she does love for reasons never given in the book. She's a Manic Pixie Dream Girl, who only exists for the male lead's desires - she doesn't need a reason to like him!

Arty has no life, nor a solid personality of her own. She isn't even referred to by her real name, Samantha, even though Wade knows it, from peeking into her file six chapters ago.

He flies into the star-filled Third Gate. End of chapter 36.

Wait... so the Gate will open for anyone after three Crystal Keys had already been used on it? Even if only one avatar were to go in? So it's not that Sixers with copies of the Key could enter, as well? All of them could? Thus increasing their chances of winning?

See, glitches, loopholes, digital holes, and plot holes - Halliday didn't consider everything. From what we've seen throughout the book, he didn't consider much of anything.

Greatest, smartest nerd in the world, my arse.

Ready Player One Read-Through: Chapter 35

Content warning: sexism, racism.



It is the Ultimate Showdown! Of Ultimate Destiny!

(Another male-led reference, I might add, even though I like the song.)

The top four gunters attack Sorrento's Mechagodzilla amid all of the chaos. Shoto makes an honorable sacrifice of his avatar, in a very vague reference to his previously-forgotten-about revenge motive.

Literally a page after Shoto is defeated by recklessness, Wade decides to get revenge on Sorrento once and for all; even though Art3mis and Helen have made it to the Third Gate and are waiting and shouting for him to join them already.


Sorrento had tried to kill me. And in the process, he'd murdered my aunt, along with several of my neighbors, including sweet old Mrs. Gilmore, who had never hurt a soul. He'd also had Daito killed, and even though I'd never met him, Daito had been my friend. (Page 339)


Oh, now you think about the dead people!

A bit late to start caring when you didn't before, isn't it? His aunt and Mrs. Gilmore haven't been mentioned in 190 pages!

Wade wants revenge, and he wants to do it in front of cameras and newsfeeds in the OASIS, for Sorrento's humiliation.

Wade, dear, YOUR RECKLESSNESS AND HIGH-AND-MIGHTY, HEAD-UP-YOUR-ARSE ACTIONS ARE WHAT GOT YOUR LOVED ONES KILLED IN THE FIRST PLACE!

Our hero! A prideful and arrogant showoff who learns nothing; who does not learn from his mistakes.

He uses the Beta Capsule and turns into Ultraman (his Leopardon got damaged in the fight with the Mechagodzilla). It is even bigger than Sorrento's mech. You can guess where this is going.

Ego-boost activated!

The mech battle is glorious - Ultraman beats the ever-loving crap out of Mechagodzilla. Crowds cheer all around - supremely lucky Wade has thousands, if not millions, of followers, fans and cheerleaders. Sorrento's avatar dies.

Ego-stroke achieved!

Time's up, and Ultraman shrinks back into toy-size. Wade finally heads for the Third Gate, where another awesome battle had just happened - off-page. We don't get to see Art3mis and Helen/Aech fight and win against an army of Sixers. But we were treated to more of Wade's stupidity and narcissistic wet dream.

He whines that he missed the Sixer arse-kicking. It's your own fault, dumbass! Art3mis seems to agree with me, as she clearly has had enough:


Art3mis didn't reply. She just gave me the finger.
    "Congrats on wasting Sorrento," Aech said. "It was an epic throwdown, for sure. But you're still a complete idiot. You know that, right?"
    "Yeah," I shrugged. "I know."
    "You're such a selfish asshole!" Art3mis shouted. "What if you'd gotten yourself killed too?"
    "I didn't, though. Did I?" I said, stepping around her to examine the crystal door. "So chill out and let's open this thing." (Page 341)


Art3mis is right. Again.

She is told to "chill out" by a male avatar. Again.

Her views and concerns are ignored and she is quite literally pushed aside, by the characters and the narration. Again.

The male main character's actions are excused (actually shrugged off in this instance) and then forgotten about. Again.

Everybody stop telling the "girl" of the group to shut up!

Also, with Shoto gone, Helen/Aech is the only POC character left, in time for the book's climax. And she is pretending to be a white guy! So as far as the OASIS is concerned, the heroes of the story are all white, and the POC side characters are dead.

After some repetitive dialogue, the three open the Third Gate. It's full of stars.


As the three of us stepped forward, preparing to enter the gate, I heard an earsplitting boom. It sounded like the entire universe was cracking in half.
    And then we all died. (Page 342)


DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNN't care.

This would have been a great, fitting end to the book, actually. The single and ultimate subversion: Where in real life, not in games or movies, the good guys don't always win.

Sadly, there are thirty pages to go.

Ready Player One is still rather dull, dumb, simple, inane, cliched, contrived, geek/fanboy wankery, fanfiction-y, tone deaf, sexist, and racist. But it might use the time it's got left to redeem itself.

Right, have you been reading the book?

Ready Player One Read-Through: Chapter 34

Content warning: sexism, references to misogyny and racism.



Okay, I've calmed down, somewhat. Getting through it.

Wade's avatar is "armed to the teeth" and balls. He uses his Leopardon robot toy - activated to turn into a giant robot mech - to travel to the planet Chthonia, complete with an AC/DC soundtrack, instead of a Japanese show soundtrack. He is somehow able to control his mech smoothly, even though the control console buttons are all labeled in Japanese.

The planet is absolutely surrounded by gunters inside giant robots and spaceships. People are trying to hail him, jealous of his mech. Art3mis, Shoto and Aech/Helen are already positioned outside the Sixers' shield, inside their own giant robots, gained from completing the Second Gate.

It is the final battle. Well, sort of.

I don't care anymore. I have no energy left to care.

All of the gunters have shown up, just like Wade had predicted and hoped for. Of course. Gary Stu is always right. No worries for him.


This was my first opportunity to see which robots Aech, Art3mis, and Shoto had selected after clearing the Second Gate, and it took me a moment to place the towering female robot Art3mis was piloting. It was black and chrome in color, with elaborate boomerang-shaped headgear and symmetrical red breastplates that made it look like a female version of Tranzor Z. Then I realized it was the female version of Tranzor Z, an obscure character from the original Mazinger Z anime series known as Minerva X. (Page 329-330)


(=sigh=) Priorities, Wade.

In the words of Harry Potter: "Oi! There's a war going on, here!"

With the exception of Art3mis's female-led TV uploads on YouTube mentioned in chapter 20, Minerva X and She-Ra are the only pop culture main female characters referenced in Ready Player One. Both of them are distaff counterparts to male or male-passing heroes.

"Obscure", my arse.

Was Minerva X the only female-presented robot in the row of toys at the end of the Black Tiger game? Did Art3mis, desperate for female representation (not that she'd be allowed to admit it, of course), have to grasp at straws? Was she disappointed that there was no other choice for her? Like she was clearly disappointed that she couldn't play Ally Sheedy in the Wargames simulation?

Feminism in the '80s and 2040s!


Aech had selected an RX-78 Gundam mech from the original Mobile Suit Gundam anime series, one of his longtime favorites. (Even though I now knew Aech was actually a female in real life, her avatar was still male, so I decided to continue to refer to him as such.) (Page 330)


(=pinches bridge of nose=)

Wade, did you ask Helen first if she still wanted to be called Aech in the OASIS? Did that bit of courtesy even occur to you?

The white boy is deciding a black woman's perceived name and gender for her, without asking her, because it makes him comfortable.

What an awful, awful, awful person he is.

How does Helen/Aech feel about this, anyway? We never find out. Her feelings don't matter. In the OASIS - in Ready Player One - anybody who isn't straight, white and male don't matter. They only exist to serve straight white males; help them with their stories.

That is white male supremacist bullshit right there.


A roar swept through the crowd as I flew in low over the shield and rocketed to a halt above the others. I rotated my orientation so that Leopardon was upright, then cut the engines and dropped the remaining distance to the surface. My robot landed on one knee, and the impact shook the ground. As I stood it upright, the sea of onlookers began to chant my avatar's name. Par-zi-val! Par-zi-val! (Page 330)


Yes, bow down before your messiah, lord and saviour - Wade Watts! All are now his worshipers and arse-kissers!

His God-Mode will start running on fumes and farts before long.

The top four gunters make two Star Wars references in one page ("Han will have that shield down," and "I've got a bad feeling about this,"), then Sorrento's avatar shows up outside of Castle Anorak. He speaks, and Wade calms down all the thousands of raging gunters/fanboys to silence just by lifting his robot's hands. Of course, he's the messiah, remember? In fact, he is the only one who gets to talk to Sorrento.

The bad guy then gets out his own giant robot - the Mechagodzilla, the biggest one in the OASIS. Other Sixers bring out their own robots, and it is anime and pop culture heaven (there are Robotech and Neon Genesis Evangelion mechs). Or hell, in this case.

There's going to be a giant robot anime fight in book form.

But it'll have to wait.

For it turns out, back in the IOI prison, Wade had programmed a Johnny Five robot to blow up the shield from the inside, I am not joking. He describes the Sixer's droids' design as "Due to a lack of imagination".

Ha! That is rich coming from this book.

So the battle is finally going to begin. Shit's going down. And I can't help but think: why is there no battle in the real world? It would be much more effective there, with real emotional investment and stakes. There would be real consequences to the violence and destruction. Everything being virtual and fake doesn't resonate with the same impact as a real world hero-vs-villain showdown would.

End of chapter 34. Thank goodness, that turned out to be a shorter post.

Ready Player One Read-Through: Chapter 33

Content warning: sexism, misogyny, racism, references to online abuse and offline abuse, harassment, toxic masculinity, homophobia, stalking, male entitlement.



...
...



I... really don't want to do this.

This is going to make my previous rants look like trips to Disney World.

Let's get it over and done with, and tomorrow I can feel proud of myself, as if I'd conquered Mount Everest.

Morrow's avatar can access anything and go anywhere in the OASIS, as he's its co-creator. Why has he not been helping out with the egg hunt then? Or trying to stop his dead ex-friend's madness from the beginning, which he'd hinted at before that he knew was unhealthy and wrong? It's never explained.

What is explained is that it was Morrow/Og who knocked over the stack of comic books back in chapter 15, a forever ago. He only decides to help now because he'd previously didn't want "to ruin all the fun". He is protecting the "spirit and integrity" of Halliday's contest, at his old pal's request.

PEOPLE HAVE DIED! YOU'VE JUST PROVEN YOURSELF TO BE AS BAD AS HALLIDAY, MORROW!

AND I ONCE LIKED YOU! I THOUGHT YOU KNEW BETTER!

Spirit and integrity, my arse!

Before he died, Halliday had asked Morrow to monitor and look over the contest and its events. Morrow has decided that the time to intervene has come. Again, people have died because of this contest, and he thinks that now he should step in and offer a helping hand. When the surviving High Five have just reached a breakthrough and Wade is doing fine on his own.

Technically, Ogden Morrow is an accessory to murder. He let these terrible things go on in his stride, never calling the authorities (he's rich! He's famous! He owns the tech! He would have had proof to incriminate IOI and the Sixers!), or altering the OASIS, or anything. All for the sake of a stupid game. And enabling his dead friend, whom he hadn't spoke to in a decade, in his godlike delusions.

Can Morrow be trusted? He can do anything in the OASIS. He's rich, smart (common sense notwithstanding), and he has done nothing to try to stop the Sixers until now.

The starstruck kids immediately put their lives in his hands, unquestioning, never thinking about what his intentions - his ulterior motives - could be. They choose to risk their lives for a creepy old man who has been spying on them for about a year.

Ogden Morrow is the worst wiseman ever.

Poor Daito must be Hulking out in his grave right now.

Morrow has already made arrangements for everyone to seek refuge in his home in Oregon for safety, and for continuing the last stage of the OASIS quest.

Shoto bows to him, and when Art3mis receives good news from the man:


For a second I thought Art3mis might bow too. But then she ran over and threw her arms around Og in a bear hug. "Thank you, Og," she said. "Thank you, thank you, thank, you!" (Page 315)


The hug is unearned. He let things go too far, when he didn't need to. He chose to allow every bad thing in Ready Player One to happen. He is a rich bastard.

He arranges limos to pick up both Art3mis and Shoto at their respective airports, and Wade and Aech will share Aech's RV, to then travel to Oregon on a freaking jet. Easy!

Wade and Aech bicker and whine affectionately and pointlessly about travelling together (come on, you'll be flying on a jet!) - in real life, for the first time ever.


"This is gonna be interesting," I said, stealing a quick glance at Art3mis. "The four of us are finally going to meet in person."
    "It will be an honor," Shoto said. "I'm looking forward to it."
    "Yeah," Art3mis said, locking eyes with me. "I can't wait." (Page 316)


The only thing that will make me forgive everything in this book is if Art3mis were planning Wade's murder. Or she's a Sixer spy, after all. What can be interpreted by her locking eyes with him, at the prospect of meeting him for the first time? Nervousness? Annoyance? It's pretty bloody clear to her by now that he is her stalker. She should be scared of meeting him in person.

Shoto remains a token stereotype from beginning to end. He has no character; unless you count bowing and saying "honor" as a catchphrase to be character traits. His revenge plan from chapter 25 doesn't come up again.

Everybody logs out of the Basement accept for Aech and Wade. Aech warns our hero that he doesn't look anything like his avatar in real life. And he means it.

He will pick up Wade in his RV.


Despite what I'd said to Aech, knowing that I was about to meet him in person after all these years made me more nervous than I wanted to admit. But it was nothing compared to the apprehension I already felt building inside me at the prospect of meeting Art3mis once we reached Oregon. Trying to picture the actual moment filled me with a mixture of excitement and abject terror. What would she be like in person? Was the photo I'd seen in her file actually a fake? Did I still have any kind of chance with her at all? (Page 316)


PRIORITIES!

Art3mis. Is. Not. A. Prize. Dipshit!

But in Ready Player One's world, she is.

Wade finds out that newfeeds all over know about the Sixers' crimes and the gunters' war plan. He waits for Aech's RV outside the Plug.

The RV arrives, and it is very small, and very old.

Okay, here it is: the "twist". Wade, and the readers, are finally going to meet Aech in person. Who has been Wade's barely-there, kind-of-supportive-in-small-doses, obnoxious, obsessive, pop-culture dictator best friend this whole time?


A heavyset African American girl sat in the RV's driver seat, clutching the wheel tightly and staring straight ahead. She was about my age, with short, kinky hair and chocolate-colored skin that appeared iridescent in the soft glow of the dashboard indicators. She was wearing a vintage Rush 2112 concert T-shirt, and the numbers were warped around her large bosom. She also had on faded black jeans and a pair of studded combat boots. She appeared to be shivering, even though it was nice and warm in the cab. (Page 318)


What a twist!

The closest thing the book has to a "twist", in fact!

And Wade seriously did not just describe her hair as "kinky", and her skin as "chocolate-colored". And he had thought it necessary to draw attention to her "large bosom". He has actually seen his friend of over five years for the first time, and he is already viewing her as exotic, and is objectifying her.

A black woman: who are known to be fetishized by white men for their "big parts", ever since slavery began.

Stay classy, Cline.

Wade feels "betrayal"and "anger" at his virtual friend's "deception", at first. How is being black and female a betrayal to you? Do you care to examine why you feel this way?

You shocked? Uh, yeah, she did warn you, idiot. And it's not her fault you're so narrow-minded and prejudiced. But then he quickly laughs it off.

Because the plot deems it, Aech laughs with Wade. They talk. They hug.


I let go of her and stepped back. "Christ, Aech," I said, smiling. "I knew you were hiding something. But I never imagined..."
    "What?" she said, a bit defensively. "You never imagined what?"
    "That the famous Aech, renowned gunter and the most feared and ruthless arena combatant in the entire OASIS, was, in reality, a..."
    "A fat black chick?"
    "I was going to say 'young African American woman.'"
    Her expression darkened. "There's a reason why I never told you, you know."
    "And I'm sure it's a good one," I said. "But it really doesn't matter."
    " It doesn't?"
    "Of course not. You're my best friend, Aech. My only friend, to be honest."
    "Well, I still want to explain."
    "OK. But can it wait until we're in the air?" I said. "We've got a long way to travel. And I'll feel a lot safer once we've left this city in the dust."
    "We're on our way, amigo," she said, putting the RV in gear. (Page 319


Uh, no.

Let her explain, you white arsehole! Let. Her. Speak. You don't control how and when she gets to use her voice.

Do you realize how insensitive, racist and sexist you're being, by implying that a world famous and beloved gunter couldn't possibly be a black woman? Because they're not good for anything! - that's the microaggression there. That's the subtext.

Wade never apologizes to Aech for anything, BTW.

But that's nowhere near the worst part of this chapter - this whole book.

Buckle up. Things are going down.

Once on the freaking jet and in the air - the first that either of them had ever flown - Aech explains to Wade (with his permission, of course) her reason for passing off as a white boy in the OASIS.

Her real name is Helen Harris. Her mother, Marie, was a big influence on her life. One reason why?

Ladies and gentlemen and everybody else - everybody with a pulse - I present to you, one of the worst quotes in the history of literature:


In Marie's opinion, the OASIS was the best thing that had ever happened to both women and people of color. From the very start, Marie had used a white male avatar to conduct all of her online business, because of the marked difference it made in how she was treated and the opportunities she was given. (Page 320)


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(=screams uncontrollably=)
(=throws the paperback at the wall again and again, then feeds it to a pack of feral dogs=)
(=screams into the sky until it is night, and joins the wolves in throwing their hoarse voices at the moon until their throats are like sandpaper=)
(=proceeds to find every copy of Ready Player One around, then burns them all in a bonfire in a purifying garden, dancing around it, naked and screeching and laughing=)
(=climbs Mount Everest, because it is a lot easier than dealing with Ready Player One=)










(=comes back=)





RIGHT. RANT TIME:





YOU KNEW, CLINE!

You knew all about the prejudices, the bigotry, the abuse, harassment, and other bullshit that happens to women, people of colour, and other "minorities" who are not straight, white and male, like you. Online and offline. You knew all about the current state of our inequality in society and culture.

AND YOUR GREAT CONTRIBUTION TO IT IS TO PLACE THE RESPONSIBILITY ON THE VICTIMS?

THAT IT IS A PROBLEM THAT THEY NEED TO FIX?

THAT IT IS THEM WHO NEED TO CHANGE, NOT THEIR OPPRESSORS?

THAT IN A PERFECT WORLD THEY SIMPLY NEED TO CHANGE EVERYTHING ABOUT THEMSELVES IN ORDER TO FIT IN? IN ORDER TO BE SEEN AS EQUAL HUMAN BEINGS?

SO THEY HAVE TO NO LONGER EXIST AT ALL? AS THEMSELVES? THUS RACISM AND SEXISM ARE SOLVED!!!!!!!!!!??????????????

Just like the racist in-real-life-he's-an-Inuit-woman-teacher line in chapter 4, this is complacency in bigotry. The privileged view that it is just a fact of life and there is nothing we can do about it. Equality is idealism; an illusion; a pipe dream. So there's no point in trying to better ourselves. Because everybody is inherently racist and sexist, and it sucks to be the "other".

So the "other" should just erase themselves. Mold themselves into the systematically-privileged - to deny their roots, deny their history, deny their culture, deny their families, deny who they are altogether, in order to survive in our terrible society.

And the OASIS is seen as a "paradise", and better than real life.

This is cutting it close to genocide.

This also totally contradicts what was said about the OASIS before - that it is a place where anyone can be anything they want to be, without fear, and be able to express themselves however they want.

The OASIS is just another tool to further the agenda of the white male default and white supremacy. Both Halliday and Morrow gave no thought whatsoever to the implications of how their virtual worlds could be corrupted; and abused, and turned into a toxic environment. Exactly like what has happened to our real life internet.

Worse, Cline is using the voice of a black woman for this complacency-in-racism bullshit. He/Wade the white male hero don't allow her to speak unless he tells her to, and when she does, it's about protecting his own privileges in a society that favours him as a straight white American man. Nothing is challenged, nothing is changed, real black women's experiences are erased - and, in the face of prejudice, are shrugged off and justified - and two fictional black women, created by a white man, are content and happy to be Uncle Tom.

It's like Cline is saying: "Yeah, that stuff about online abuse, workplace abuse, racism, sexism, misogyny, harassment, harassment campaigns, hate groups, and all those women and people of colour who are not given the chance to shine, to contribute to society, to be taken seriously, to be seen, sometimes risking their own lives just for wanting to be treated as human beings? All the bigotry that is linked together in our system of inequality? It sucks, but what can you do? It's their own fault for not being born straight, white, male, able-bodied, and awesome like me. In a perfect virtual reality, there is no bigotry, because everyone will be white and male! There, problem solved! To try anything else, to examine our own prejudices and end them by the root once and for all, is too hard. Better and easier to just stick to the status quo. Better and easier for me, that is. In my future paradise of the 2040s! Where everyone is welcome!"

FUCK. RIGHT. OFF. YOU. LAZY.  SELFISH. THOUGHTLESS. UNEMPHATIC. OVERPRIVILEGED. SELF-CONGRATULATORY. SELF-RIGHTEOUS. ENABLING. ARSEHOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



"In Marie's opinion, the OASIS was the best thing that had ever happened to both women and people of color. From the very start, Marie had used a white male avatar to conduct all of her online business, because of the marked difference it made in how she was treated and the opportunities she was given." - Never, ever have I read two such contradictory paragraphs put together IN MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Pretending to be white and male does not solve racism and sexism! Pretending to be your oppressors is not the best thing that can happen to women and people of colour! It is the white male oppressors and the system that need to change, NOT THE SUFFERING VICTIMS OF AN UNFAIR, BIASED, PREJUDICED SYSTEM!

THIS IS THE MESSAGE YOU CHOSE TO PUT IN YOUR YA BOOK, CLINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The 2040s, everyone! Feminism can't do shit! The patriarchy is forever! White supremacy rules! And there's nothing you can do about it.

"What can you do?" - said by Art3mis, a young white woman, in chapter 12, shrugging in the face of white male bias and outdated prejudice.



But I guess we're not suppose to like Marie, since Helen then says that her mother kicked her out of her life for coming out as gay.


As Aech explained all of this, I could tell she was studying my reaction. I wasn't all that surprised, really. Over the past few years, Aech and I had discussed our mutual admiration for the female form on numerous occasions. I was actually relieved to know that Aech hadn't been deceiving me, at least not on that account. (Page 321)


Yey, you're both pervs. Friendship saved! Sexism solved!

Wait, Helen/Aech has been expressing internalized misogyny the whole book, then. With the way she'd treated Art3mis, and her use of misogynistic language in chapter 3, like "pussy", to fit into a toxic, entitled, white frat boy's club.

She also called Wade a "god" and a "legend" in chapter 12.

The 2040s, everyone!

I think there is a "no homo" vibe going on, as well.

Though, there's an impression in the above quote that they'd masturbated together... no, that is one area I will not go to.

Helen mentions Marie's "own set of deep-seated prejudices", revealed when she wouldn't accept her daughter's sexuality. She was already prejudiced! She expressed internalized racism and misogyny! She was an Uncle Tom, happily passing off as a white man in a virtual reality land in order to get a job!

Are we meant to be agreeing with Marie, or not? MAKE UP YOUR MIND, BOOK!


As we continued to talk, going through the motions of getting to know each other, I realized that we already did know each other, as well as any two people could. We'd known each other for years, in the most intimate way possible. We'd connected on a purely mental level. I understood her, trusted her, and loved her as a dear friend. None of that had changed, or could be changed by anything as inconsequential as her gender, or skin color, or sexual orientation. (Page 321)


"I'm not sexist or racist or homophobic because this friend of mine who I'd thought was male and white and straight for so many years - turns out not to be! All women, POC, POC women, and all queer people should pretend to be like me for years, so that I will bother to get to know them in the first place, before they reveal their true selves to me. Thus, no big deal anymore! I now see them as fully human beings, capable of being white and male and deserving of respect like me!"

Fuck you, Wade.

You too, Cline, and your hypocrisy. The above quote, I'm sure, intends to convey the message that looks and superficial differences don't matter. When one page ago you said that they do; that women and people of colour essentially have to pretend to be white and male in order to work in the OASIS, maintaining a white default, patriarchal, het cis status quo; thus they are set for life.

They arrive at Ogden's house at night, no problem (FYI, Wade and the rest of the gunters never meet Sorrento or any of the Sixers in real life. Talk about a wasted opportunity). It's a very nice, big house. There's a little tour. Art3mis and Shoto had apparently already arrived and are linked to the OASIS in one of Morrow's immersion rooms. He shows Wade and Helen their own bays.


"Good luck, Aech," I said.
"Good luck, Z," she replied. Then she turned to Og and said, "Thanks again, Og." Before he could respond, she stood on her tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek. Then she disappeared through the door to bay four and it hissed shut behind her. (Page 324)


There is something unsettling about the image of a young black lesbian kissing an old straight white man, even if it is on the cheek, and it is an expression of gratitude. There's historical context to this. But I'd already used up all of my rage.

Also, Wade keeps referring to Helen as Aech - in his narration and his speech. Why? I thought he'd accepted everything about her as a real person. Consistency is all I ask for.

Wade, out of nowhere, after Morrow says, "the whole world is rooting for the four of you" (he means only Wade, as he's talking to him), asks his 300-pages-in mentor:


I shook my head. "No, that's not it. I wanted to ask what it was that ended your friendship with Halliday. In all the research I've done, I've never been able to find out. What happened?"  (Page 325)


Priorities, Wade!

WE KNOW! We know why Halliday and Morrow fell out! It was practically told to us in chapter 12! The reason is as obvious as knowing how to breathe! Why can't the super-smart, fucked-over-the-entire-IOI-in-less-than-a-week Wade figure it out himself?

Well, Morrow decides to tell the stupid kid, anyway. This moment is treated like some gigantic revelation; another one after the revelation of Helen's true identity. Morrow is acting like he is releasing decades-old secret demons in telling Wade, and it is killing him inside.


"It was because of Kira. My wife." (Page 325)


(=slams the book shut, hurls it to the floor, paces the room, picks up the book and tosses it at the severely-dented and almost-destroyed wall from earlier. Again and again=)





(=comes back, steaming=)










OF FUCKING COURSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IT'S ALWAYS A WOMAN, ISN'T IT!?

ALWAYS A WOMAN! TO CAUSE MAN PAIN! AND COME BETWEEN DUDE-BROS!

A DEAD WOMAN, TOO!



Huh, looks like I do have some capacity for rage left.



This book is pouring out cliches like a trash compactor!

Morrow explains that Halliday must have "harbored some fantasy of stealing her away from me."; and she "was the only woman he ever loved."; and the cherry picker on top of the trash heap: "Kira was very special. It was impossible not to fall in love with her."

Kira is - was - not a possession! Women are not possessions!

Morrow's dialogue is so cliched, so unnatural, and it only serves to paint Halliday in an even worse light than before, if he'd supposedly wanted to fling Kira over his shoulder like a caveman and kidnap her in his van!

"very special", how? Because she was a pretty geek girl? Because she was not like other girls? She was one in a million geek girls?

FUCK. YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!





(=breathes deeply=)





ANYWAY:

Morrow wishes Wade good luck for the final battle in the OASIS.


"What are you going to do?" I asked. "During the fight?"
    "Sit back and watch, of course!" he said. "This looks to be the most epic battle in videogame history." he grinned at me one last time, then stepped through the door and was gone, leaving me alone in the dimply-lit hallway. (Page 325)


WORST. MENTOR. EVER!

He only chooses to help others when it suits him. Or when he can be bothered to.

As a rich old bastard, he can afford not to!

There's being relaxed and childlike, and then there's being an irresponsible, smug jackass! He is putting the lives of young people on the line!

Ogden Morrow is an enabler of a toxic culture, and an accessory to mass murder. And he doesn't care. He doesn't try to make things better, even when he easily can.

Much like a certain author.

There's a spirit all right: the spirit of James Halliday, and it is alive and well inside Morrow.

Wade logs into the OASIS in small, spherical immersion bay with state-of-the-art technology.

THE. END!





I'm throwing out all pretense to be professional to the wind. Ready Player One doesn't deserve it:

I. HATE. THIS.

FUCK THIS BOOK.

FUCK THIS SHIT.

Fuck this racist, sexist book. And shame on anyone who ever said that it's diverse and original.





There. Thus concludes my longest post/rant ever.

I'm exhausted. How can I recover from this? In time for chapter 34?

Let's see how I am next time. I take comfort in that it can't possibly get any worse than this.


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Can it?