2022 EDIT: A lot has changed. Like my tastes, and experiences, and maybe I've experienced too much of horrible reality now to really identify with 'The Secret Loves of Geek Girls'. I admit I spent most of rereading it skimming, but I got a good, general idea of each of the stories, told through comics, prose, texts etc. Some of them are still relatable and relevant, even cute.
But...I'm sad and exhausted.
Maybe I've become a jaded, miserable, unfulfilled woman in my thirties - and this anthology collection came out in 2015, and the cosmos knows so much has changed since then (myself, society, pop culture, fandom, politics, the whole media sphere). That naïve, hopeful era seems like a lifetime ago, doesn't it?
So, in 2022, I think that 'The Secret Loves of Geek Girls' is dated, and has not aged well. Now that I'm older and have had a deeper dive into more staples of pop culture, in a strange kind of paradox I feel further alienated from the lives and geek loves of these women. In fact some of their observations are like a slap in the face to me (not all of them, mind you, but they stick out significantly to me). Are my tastes, interests, opinions and ways of looking at things so differing to others, even other "weird" women? Or am I just a lonely pessimist? In other cases I might be too much of an optimist.
Do I still consider myself a geek, after all this time? I don't know. It's mainly toxic fandoms, and toxic, problematic creators, and family and friend disagreements, that have destroyed my interest in most geeky media. It's unbelievably overwhelming. Heh. People are flawed, aren't they? With that fact it makes it harder to reconcile. Why can't we simply get over ourselves, and love each other for our differences, and not let them divide us?
There are exceptions to my newfound "not going to bother with this it's sourcing vile toxicity" rule, however, like childhood loves that are impossible to kill; examples include Sailor Moon, Batgirl, Wonder Woman, Harley Quinn, Captain Marvel, She-Ra, and I remain a huge animation and graphic novel fan and supporter.
Representation matters. Always has, always will.
Other than that, I do feel like an alien in spaces where it's supposed to be the opposite; where I should feel safe, welcomed and respected for being me and for having opinions. I'm scared to talk about anything considered geeky with anyone, now. The toxicity, the entitlement, the backlashes, the hostile pushback on diversity, the outright violence and hate towards what's supposed to be just fun escapist entertainment, has reached zenith levels. Toxic fans are not fans. Remember enjoyment and passion?
It often seems like things have only gotten worse, not better.
I don't want to live like that, walking on eggshells over things that don't matter. Yet they kind of do.
It's hard to be positive; to not be cynical, to not be overly sensitive to others' views, it really is. It's crushing sometimes. It's isolating.
Sorry for my vague ramblings here. I don't want to get too personal. Though, evidently, perhaps I've failed at that. Like everyone fails at a lot of things in life.
Here's me, in early 2022, everyone: an uncommitted, weary, wavering, paradoxical geek woman, vulnerable and exposed in writing.
But, despite everything, I remain hopeful that things will get better. They have to. They need to. I cling to that hope, quietly.
Farewell, 'The Secret Loves of Geek Girls'. You are an overoptimistic, brief, pale, fading light in my past, but I will always appreciate your passion, colour, introspections, and diversity. And your hope.
Final Score: 3/5
Original Review:
An anthology about the awkward, sad and cheerful love lives - old and new - of professional geek girls; always present, human and awesome.
Behold the unflinchingly personal, honest, refreshing, diverse and relevant coming-of-age true stories - told creatively in prose, illustrations and/or comic panel styles - of Margaret Atwood (yes, THAT Margaret Atwood), Hope Nicholson (also the book's editor), Stephanie Cooke, J.M. Frey, Katie West, Cherelle Higgins, Meaghan Carter, Megan Kearney, Megan Lavey-Heaton, Laura Neubert, Diana McCallum, Brandy Dawley, Marjorie M. Liu, Mariko Tamaki, Marguerite Bennett, Trina Robbins, Natalie Smith, Emma Woolley, Sam Maggs, and many other women (there are over 50 short stories in total). Women who are into comics, movies, TV shows, video games, fanfiction, RPGs, books, fanbase forums, dating profiles, and other mediums, as they navigate their varied love and sex lives, or lack of.
No matter what, no matter how different their lives and experiences are, and no matter the decade, these girls are happy. Happy for who they are, and who they are with; be it lovers or friends. As well as being racially diverse, the LBGTQ spectrum presented in this book is outstanding; revolutionary in fact. Asexuality and Demisexuality do exist!
These geek girls may be nerdy outcasts, but they are not antisocial. From childhood, they struggled and grew into funny, kind and intelligent ladies who want what is best for themselves and the people in their circles.
Altogether, geek girls are a community. They have always been around, contributing to geek culture, storytelling and technology (also feminist analysis) in their own special ways.
'The Secret Loves of Geek Girls' is so relatable to me, and it resonates with me personally as a fellow geek girl, which I am now fully proud to be, even when balancing out relationships in the big wide, scary world.
This book, this anthology of women's lives, tells us this: You are not alone. We went through this too. You never were alone, and you never will be.
Keep fighting, keep doing what you love. You can and will find someone who loves you for who you are. And even amid sexist backlash or heartbreak, you will be okay.
Geek guys, listen up: Geeks girls are not some new "trend"; that's nowhere near close to the truth. Nor are they a dying breed. Bullshit. We have always existed, and we have lives different yet similar to everyone else in humanity.
While I didn't connect to every story in this anthology, the recurring themes of societal pressures and relationships are important and universal. So I recommend 'The Secret Loves of Geek Girls' to anyone, even those who don't consider themselves to be geek girls, or geeks at all. Because as it turns out, no one is weird.
But it's cool to be weird anyway, so why the hell judge?
Weird geeks girls - we are many, we are here for each other!
Final Score: 4/5
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