Saturday 25 November 2017

Book Review - 'Castle Hangnail' by Ursula Vernon

2022 EDIT: As good and charming a children's book as ever.

Final Score: 3.5/5





Original Review:



Welcome to Hotel Transylvan-er, I mean Castle Hangnail! It welcomes you, creaky doors and broken staircases and all.

A children's haunted castle parody, with hilarious, cartoony touches like in 'Witch Wars', except containing more nuance and character development. It's also like 'Isadora Moon' in that it embraces both light and darkness and the complex nature of everyone.

'Castle Hangnail' is a fun, cute, heartwarming book that can be gloomy and spooky but never scary, even for kids. There are such memorable characters: Molly Utterback, the twelve-year-old "Wicked Witch" and new owner of Castle Hangnail (or so she says), who is the "bad twin" to an apparently sickeningly-sweet, girly, pink princess twin; the stitched-up, hunchback Igor-figure whom Molly names Majordomo, an initially-distrusting minion of Castle Hangnail who is so used to abuse, dismemberment and lightning rod shocks from his previous Masters that the thing that shocks him regarding Molly, apart from her age, is how considerate and charming she is; Pins the walking, talking burlap sack who is a tailor; Serenissima, a half djinn/half mermaid, resulting in a woman made of steam and vapour; Edward the chivalrous, talking, clanking armour with the purest heart of gold; Cook the Minotaur and her son, Angus; Miss Handlebram, the dark-skinned neighbour of Castle Hangnail and the sweetest, most caring gardener; a donkey that turns into a dragon (why do I get the feeling that Dreamworks would love to make a movie out of this?), thanks to Molly, in order to be freed from an abusive farmer; and a goldfish. The goldfish, Pins's best friend, is a hypochondriac who later on becomes my favourite character. She is actually very brave, and she embodies the cartoony silliness of the book the most fondly.

There are also bats, moles, townspeople, and a host of other odd and whimsical types that Molly interacts with as the unofficial owner of Castle Hangnail. The story is, strangely enough, unimportant as we get to know these creative, awesome characters. 'Castle Hangnail' sets up and explores the difference between being Wicked and being Evil, in terms of the use of power, and how a Wicked Master treats their minions would be nonetheless preferable to how an Evil Master treats them.

The minions of Castle Hangnail are in fact really nice people. So nice that it's sad and, if you think about it, horrifying in light of how they were expected to serve under their previous, devious Masters. Someone like Molly, a witch wanting to learn all the spells she can, plus own her own place and run her life free of others' expectations, and would never think to torture and be mean to anyone (she scares and pranks those who deserve it, who need to learn a lesson), is what they desperately need.

Just because they live in an old, creepy castle doesn't mean they have to conform to conventional expectations and stereotypes. Cleanliness, niceness, generosity and learning with the times can get you far in life. It is a good message for kids.

'Castle Hangnail' is not all fantasy fun with a wholesome moral in the end, however. There is the theme of the mechanics of abuse, i.e. how it works. As well as Majordomo having grown used to life as a tortured, nameless minion, and the animal cruelty inflicted on Dragon the donkey, Molly has had a friend in the past who was nasty to her, who belittled her, who patronised her, and who kept her from reaching her potential as a witch in more ways than one; literally draining her. All the while the "friend" pretended to care about Molly, telling her that what she says and does is for her own good, and that Molly is too weak a witch and will never be better than the older witch. Or Sorceress. The Evil Sorceress. It takes young Molly a long time to realise that the fault is not her own - it never has been - and through the minions of Castle Hangnail she discovers what true friends are.

I don't think I've read a children's book before that directly tackled the subject of abusive friendships - abusive families, yes, abusive romantic relationships to a much lesser degree. But harmful friendships is also a very important issue to let children be aware of; that they can leave unpleasant and toxic people, no matter the pressure to remain. Molly Utterback grows and changes as a character throughout 'Castle Hangnail' via persistence, and believing in herself, away from her Sorceress "friend".

The book misses a star because I thought there could have been a lot more to the climactic ending, which wraps everything up a bit too nicely and conveniently. Problems such as plumbing and paying to have the boiler and pipes at Castle Hangnail fixed are dealt with slowly overtime and are handled as realistically as a children's fantasy can. However, other problems, such as getting rid of a greedy, criminal real estate agent, are solved too quickly and easily. Not every character has more than one dimension to them. And of course the time when the inhabitants of the Castle find out that Molly is not who she says she is does come, and I dislike Majordomo intensely for how he treats her afterwards. I mean, so what if she lied? She's meant to be Wicked, after all. She hasn't hurt anyone. What about all the good she's done? That adds up to nothing now? She even gave Majordomo his name when no other Master did! No one seems to remember that detail. At least the other minions are sympathetic to Molly.

Some clichés aside, I enjoyed 'Castle Hangnail'. I adored learning magic with Molly, whom I could see myself in a myriad of ways, as a lover of the witchy and gothic who at the same time is pretty girly and whimsy, holding kindness and caring for others as my top virtues. I adored being with these funny, sweet yet kind of tragic characters. The book contains strong, important messages without talking down to the reader. It's like a junior edition of 'Wicked' the musical, jovial in its ooky, spooky cast and homely setting, to be consumed relaxing on a couch, drinking a cup of tea.

Final Score: 3.5/5

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