My mother always schooled and scolded me about my use of language, and that I should never swear. So I'll say that I was too irate to scoup across the ballroom that fine afternoon. My dress was stiff and itchy - why did I need to wear the monstrous thing at rehearsals? - and the elderberry in my hair making me smell nice and juicy, barely covering up my sweat, was all that was keeping me from storming off, really swearing my head off.
So I thought to just tell mother that I had a fever - partly true thanks to the dress - and like the most honest party guest in the world, I voiced my ailment - also known as an innuendo for boredom - to my dance instructor, and did a leaver, my head not off but held high, all poised. With my gloved hands I pushed the heavy doors open and swanned out, and then pulled the elderberry out of my hair and ate it.
How's that for ladylike?
And who the fuck decided that should be one word?
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