Spoilers ahead:
Here it is: my review of my first Halloween read. Which is also this year's biggest book disappointment for me.
Trust me, no one is sadder about my ultimate rating of 'Rewitched' than I am.
I should have loved it. I did love it.
Until the ending.
'Rewitched' has it all. Or at first it did. It was right up my cobbled, rainy, orange leaf-strewn, witchy alley. It seemed its gorgeous UK cover suited it perfectly. It is another new addition to the newish "cosy fantasy" book genre, about Belladonna "Belle" Blackthorn, a Londoner, a bookseller, and a secret witch (my dream occupations!) from a prestigious witch family, who, on her thirtieth birthday, is basically put on trial and examination by a coven/wicche council to see how she has been using her magic since she came to power at fifteen-years-old. Due to her losing her confidence and self-esteem over the years, and being a modern woman with so many patriarchal-induced insecurities, she's been somewhat neglectful of her powers and potential. She's even been made to feel ashamed of them. Her nonmagical life took over, and she lost herself along the way. She didn't become a fully-fledged witch. She burnt out.
The coven is unimpressed. Belle fails the test, and is in danger of losing her magic forever; of it being stripped from her, as it's considered "wasted on her". Poor Belle is terrified; she still sees that a witch is who she is, and she doesn't want to lose that. She doesn't want to lose what makes her special, her inner spark.
A spark, a life, that cannot be taken for granted.
During and after her trial, Belle realises she loves being a witch, and she wants a second chance. Through help and support, she is granted it. To succeed, she needs to relearn the basics of magic, and complete a series of tests. She is given only a month to accomplish her tasks, to prove her worthiness as a witch, in time for her second trial on All Hallows' Eve.
That's the gist of the light, "cosy" plot. It is quite intense and realistic, actually, despite all the sparkly, dusty magic, witchcraft and fantasy. In 'Rewitched', apparently there's a hidden world, a magic world, here called Selcouth (admittedly it's not well explained, and how does it function and what do people actually do there?), where wicchefolk (meaning magic people) with weird names can live freely, and creatures such as dragons and unicorns exist, though we never see them in this story.
'Rewitched' is a very well written debut novel... at first, but I'll get to that in a bit.
Initial positive feelings: 'Rewitched' is a darling, addictive read, with great, memorable characters (most are so nice!) (and I related to Belle), and an irresistible, soft, creamy and spicy autumnal atmosphere to it as a whole. It contains a lovely, charming and cosy bookshop, a café, a giant magical library, and the hustle and bustle of London (particularly in October), with its old houses, modern flats, and friendships that last a lifetime. It can be wholesome, cute, creative, and bittersweet. It is the perfect book to read when you're curled up in a comfy seat inside a warm café in autumn, wearing a turtleneck, with a pumpkin spice latte on a little table in front of you, whilst the wind blows leaves outside. You can read it in your room, too, with a cat cuddled up next to you on your snug bed. Smooth, rich, milky hot chocolate is optional.
The themes of self-love and self-confidence are integrated as beautifully as the settings and use of magic in the book, and are a warm welcome, a comfort, and a reassurance and inspiration to anyone in the female target audience reading it.
Even the protagonist's name, Belle, reminds me of Disney's 'Beauty and the Beast'. There is a similar, glorious, magical connection there. Another bonus!
I was hooked. I was immersed. I was engaged. I was charmed. 'Rewitched' is my kind of book.
Or it should have been.
Additionally, it felt like the author, Lucy Jane Wood, was the kind of person I would meet by chance where I live, and we would chat and have cups of tea together in, you guessed it, a café.
Sadly, tragically, 'Rewitched' lost me suddenly and completely at about the 336 page mark, on chapter twenty-nine to be precise. I don't wish to dwell on it too much, and give too much detail, but in a nutshell: it stops being a cosy, relaxing fantasy, and becomes, out of nowhere, a save-the-world, black-and-white, good-versus-evil, magical showdown epic, culminating in a huge, ridiculous battle at the denouement, where anything goes.
There is a twist reveal: there was a big bad villain all along, and it isn't the patriarchy. It isn't any men who have taken over and corrupted the wicche system to suit their own ends, out of ego, greed and hunger for more power, and to stay at the top of the hierarchy.
It is two women.
Two sisters, Bronwyn and Morena Gowden, the old women coven leaders, the Sage Witches, the witch legends, as different as night and day but a team nonetheless, they turn out to be evil, power-hungry villains.
Bronwyn had been really sweet, cheery and supportive to Belle during her witch trial at the beginning. The dotty yet no-nonsense little old woman was funny - her dialogue was a hoot, and her banter with her polar opposite sister Morena was hilarious! She loved libraries! Bronwyn was like an aunt and a grandmother rolled up together like a cinnamon roll to Belle. But apparently, in actuality, she is the most evil witch who ever lived.
Cartoonishly evil. Bronwyn even killed her adult brother when she was eleven-years-old. She was a murderer, manipulator and schemer from way back then, for no reason. I mean, sure, why not? That might as well be a thing. The last quarter of the book is where anything goes, after all.
It should also be mentioned that neither Bronwyn nor Morena are present during the middle of the book. They are absent for over two hundred pages, as most of the book is dedicated to Belle learning under the tutelage of an elderly, disgraced, alleged murderer warlock named Artorius Day, who, unlike Bronwyn, is genuinely a sweetheart and innocent teddy bear. Because you should always be weary of old women - who have been feared, ostracised, persecuted, mocked, ignored, and accused of deceit for centuries - but you can always trust old men, am I right? Without any real clues or foreshadowing, the famous and respected coven leader sisters are the villains as of page 347 out of 405.
While I'm on this point of accidental misogyny: relating to the unintentional reinforcement of patriarchal connotations, this leaves Belle with no positive older female influences in her life, except her mother Bonnie (I don't count her ghost grandmother, whom she easily summons and meets a couple of chapters before the big battle - that scene is shallow, sickly twee, and cringey). It turns out there are no evil men in the entire book. Certainly not poor old, mysterious and sketchy Artorius. It's just two women, plotting their rise to power since childhood, for vague, stupid, unfounded, insubstantial reasons, and fucking over their whole family (murder and memory wipes, all without being caught!) in the process.
There are written passages implying that the sisters feel they had to do what they did out of a sense of entitlement and privilege. They evaded the law, snuck in, stole, took control of and corrupted their way to the top of the system, for their own selfish gains. To remain powerful. Because they're narcissists, I suppose. There is no other motivation.
This describes practically every man in positions of power and wealth, and of privilege, in patriarchal systems in real life. Yet 'Rewitched', a 2024 female-led, mass-marketed book, makes the privileged, entitled, egotistical, power-mad villains women. Men are the innocent victims of scary, powerful women! Women are not to be trusted! They are deceitful bitches! Real witches! who deserve to be hunted, locked up, scorned, and burned.
This doesn't reflect reality, and it is a dangerous thing to believe. Because it is exactly the lie that misogynistic men in positions of power and influence in the capitalist patriarchy want to feed us, in relish - that women are unfit to rule anything, that any woman with ambition is automatically evil, and is easily corrupted.
Too many female villains in pop culture fall into the exact trap that the Gowden sisters do in 'Rewitched' - that they are evil villains because they are women in positions of power and authority, which they attained through unethical means - and at best it is embarrassing, and at worst it is negatively influencing our perspectives of real women as leaders, who have any authoritative job, and it is, again, dangerous. It's patriarchal propaganda, existing for as long as the patriarchy has, and it is twisted, sick, and wrong. I can't believe 'Rewitched' would reinforce this "mad women in power and men are innocent" trope, and sweep the magic carpet from under me and betray me like this.
There's this paragraph on page 363:
'The plan - or as much of a plan as a highly unqualified witch, a banished elderly warlock and a witch dithering somewhere up north could have in place without entirely knowing what is was they were hoping to achieve - was vague. All that they knew was that Selcouth needed to know the truth and that the Gowden sisters had landed their positions of power though treacherous means. Not to mention it was highly likely that they were behind the sabotage of Belle's mentorship, therefore controlling coven admissions for their own gain. They could have been manipulating prospective members of Selcouth, the future of magic itself, for decades.'
I think the above passage sums up every problem with the last part of the book.
(It also implies that it wasn't Belle's lack of motivation, anxiety and self-confidence issues that were holding her back when rediscovering her magic and believing in herself. Ohhh no: it was the evil women in charge, deliberately disrupting and destroying her chances from afar. Guess Belle never really needed to try hard to improve herself. It wasn't her inner self, her inner spark, she needed to find and fix. It's those dastardly, cackling, mwahaha! bitch witches who are at fault all along. Who needs therapy when you can blame other people entirely for your ruined life and emotional and mental problems, right? Props for bringing to light how a flawed, unfair and corrupt system can screw over any "undesirable" people by insidiously and maliciously putting them at a disadvantage at every turn, and setting them up for failure. But realistically, statistically far more likely, this would happen in systems controlled predominantly by men in a patriarchal society, not women!)
By the way, the Gowden sisters are Belle's great-aunts. They are her grandmother's sisters. They are also Artorius's sisters - they framed him for their older brother's murder, and altered his memories, effectively devastating his life, and traumatising him. They did this to their own brother, when he was just a child, again for no solid reason or motivation. Anyway, Artorius, Belle's mentor, is also her great-uncle. All old people are connected as long-lost siblings in 'Rewitched', apparently! What a small magical world! How bloody contrived. But all this isn't even mentioned once in the book. Did the author seriously not notice these familial connections to her protagonist?
And it isn't a "found family", if the trusted people Belle meets on her self-discovery and development journey turn out to be related to her by blood.
Have I emphasised enough how innocent, too-good-and-pure-for-this-world, and right about everything concerning Belle and her potential Artorius is? I feel I must, to parallel how much the novel itself does the same.
As to how the villain twist, and their past, are revealed in the narrative? It comes to Belle too easily. She just casts a spell on mirrors, to look into any past, and I have to wonder why the hell no other wicche thought to do that decades ago. Anyone could have done this. Anyone could have figured out the Gowdens' con and their true natures at any time.
Que the rushed climactic battle to save all of wicche-kind, and the world. And the universe, too, probably; that might as well be the case, for how over the top the big bad battle goes. Bronwyn is so evil, and so far removed from the character she was at the beginning of the book, it's laughable. Belle is a superhero now who can save the world with powerful magic. How relatable. How believable, and realistic - not, and I'm not talking about the magic aspect.
The ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny, the good-versus-evil climax, the war (huh!) involving only a few active witches, takes place at the coven, the council house (called Hecate House), and in it things crumble and blow up, magic is flung around, statues come to life, objects and people are teleported, characters appear and are yeeted across the room and thrown around like discarded children's toys, Belle goes into the Avatar State and summons earth, water, wind and fire, there's a lightshow, Bronwyn never shuts the hell up throughout all this, cats and dogs are living together, mass hysteria!
Yeah. Cosy fantasy, my arse.
The war starts and ends quick as a flash, in half a chapter. There's no lasting trauma for any of the characters. Belle is the most powerful witch in the world, or something, because that's what always mattered, right?
*sigh* Good wins. Laughter from everyone. Everything is sorted out and hunky-dory at Hecate House and in all of Selcouth. Decades of maintaining a corrupt system, and it is upended and purified seemingly overnight, easy-peasy. The Gowden sisters disappear with no explanation. Sequel bait?
Ugh! This sodding ending. Undoing everything I loved about the rest of 'Rewitched'. And it happens fast. It's like another author took over at the last minute. In fact, I haven't experienced a whiplash like this while reading a novel, caused by a shift in content, competency, and tone, since 'This Poison Heart'. The two modern books have similar strengths and flaws.
Although 'This Poison Heart' is better in terms of diversity and representation. I don't think a single person of colour is mentioned in 'Rewitched', and while a random coven member at Belle's trial is referred to by they/them pronouns, and the term "wicche" does refer to magic folk of all genders, the only character who is implied to be queer in a blink-and-you-miss-it line of dialogue is Ariadne, Belle's non-wicche roommate and best friend since childhood. Belle's heterosexual romantic tension with the coven member and watchman Rune is the only romance that's focused on.
Speaking of: now's the time to talk about Rune Dunstan.
He's a warlock, and a typical smug, teasing, and devilishly handsome prick of a love interest. He deliberately provokes Belle, and stalks her, under the guise of wanting to protect her. He is stuck in the caveman alpha male mindset, and there is no better demonstration of this than in chapter twenty-two, where he literally punches Belle's sexist corporate pig of a boss in the face, in the streets of London, in broad daylight, because he made her cry. WTF? Rune is a grown man in 2024, and he acts like a toxic male love interest in a paranormal romance book from the 2000s, abusing and then "protecting" the weak, weepy and helpless heroine.
No, wait, let's be more specific: he acts like *dusts cobwebs* Edward Cullen. Case and point: apart from the statements and examples I just typed up, Rune is more than a grown man - he is at least two hundred years old.
Yup.
You see, through an enchantment, a "cauldron pledge", wicchefolk have a choice to live as long as they want in order to develop their magical potential further, and Rune took it.
But after the dialogue exchange between him and Belle where this is revealed, in chapter eighteen, it is never brought up again. I'm serious. The fact that the female protagonist's male love interest is over a hundred years older than her... it never, ever comes up again. It is not addressed. It is not an issue. It is rendered not important in the slightest. It is not something the author thought ought to be cited after chapter eighteen. Great writing there.
And actual great writing would have used this idea, this opportunity, to foreshadow that it's Rune who is the evil and corrupt wicche, taking immortality for himself if it means using magic and power forever and climbing his way up the coven ladder, to be the most powerful of all, where not even death can ever get in his way.
But no, nothing like that happens. Rune is just a brooding, violent, misunderstood, supernatural (and potentially immortal!) love interest. What a boring cliché.
Also, on page 326, Rune 'refused to take the bus as [Belle] normally did, absolutely mortified by the idea.' So he's a classist snob, among his other awful, charmless, unoriginal traits. What a dreamy catch, he is.
*sigh*
This review might as well have been me typing *sigh* over and over again. It has been one of the hardest I've ever written, because it is of a book I had been looking forward to reading and devouring, and I was enjoying it immensely, until the ending - the horrible, badly-written ending that blew up in my face, and that stupid, unnecessary, unprecedented twist. It spoiled everything.
'Rewitched' had seemed so me. That's what makes it so disappointing and heartbreaking. And whether I write a negative or a positive review of it, because of its genre, style and content, I knew I had to review it regardless, and let everybody know my rambling opinions.
I know Lucy Jane Wood is a good writer. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. She shows promise, and I hope she will write many more stories. If I were to give her any advice, I would say maybe she should work on her endings, and think through the implications of them, and remember important details about her characters; don't toss them aside without a thought. Plus, don't be afraid to be explicitly diverse and inclusive. It's the 2020s, for Hecate's sake.
- Why the fuck would a witchcraft council and government in this day and age allow spells like infatuation potions to be made, and as part of a curriculum? They are the fantasy genre equivalent of date rape drugs. They are date rape drugs. They should be outlawed. They should be prohibited. The potion is never mentioned again after this chapter, so I can't be sure if it's only legal because it's part of the corrupt magic system controlled by the Gowdens.
- How could Belle be so stupid as to leave the potion just lying around anywhere in her non-wicche flat? She didn't check before pouring it into her tea. She didn't recognise the bottle, apparently. How could she be so careless? Especially since Ariadne, who doesn't know about magic and her being a witch, lives with her. Ari could have found it easily, what if she drank it?
- Belle does get stupider as the book progresses. She handles the idiot ball often out of plot convenience and contrivance.
- Belle and Rune know what they consumed in their cups of tea, and they proceed to make out anyway. Belle says they shouldn't, but Rune tells her to go with it, and she does. They both say it's what they want. WTF? NO IT ISN'T WHAT YOU REALLY WANT! YOU ARE UNDER A SPELL! YOU KNOW THIS! YOU ARE UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF A DATE RAPE DRUG! That it turns out they are not under a spell, and they are attracted to each other for real, doesn't negate this. At the time they thought they were bewitched, and they were going to have sex anyway. That is horrifying. And traumatising. And Rune initiates it. He instigates it. He touches her first. He starts it. He tells her to go with it. I repeat: WTF???!!! WHAT A FUCKING CREEP!
- Although I can't be entirely furious at him, as after Belle finds out that the potion didn't work, she doesn't tell him the truth, to clear everything up, for selfish and stupid reasons. She lets Rune think that both of them were sexually assaulted, that he nearly had sex with her when both parties were in no state to consent, that he nearly hurt her. She doesn't consider his feelings at all (and I'm not talking about how he obviously loves her and she's too stupid to see it - that is far, far from the point!). He should be traumatised, racked with guilt, not merely embarrassed.
- In fact, Rune acts disappointed that he didn't get to have sex with Belle while a love spell is active - that he didn't get lucky! He was infatuated with her long beforehand, and had thought that thanks to the potion he could take advantage of her while she's intoxicated! W.T.F? WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS FUCKING CREEP?! SEND HIM TO PRISON AND A THERAPIST'S OFFICE IMMEDIATELY!
- This is not some silly "whoopsie!" incident to be quickly moved on from and forgotten about. But that's precisely how it's treated.
- The whole scene is played for laughs. It is played out exactly like a rom com, or a sitcom, from before the 2000s. It exists solely for the will-they-won't-they tension subplot between Belle and Rune.
- Except for a teeny tiny dialogue exchange between the couple during the climactic battle, where Rune admits he really does love Belle, the incident isn't mentioned again. Ever. There's not even any guilt on Belle's part over her lying to Rune about the potion after the fact. She never confesses, by the way. She never tells him the truth. Wow. Yeah. So there's no honesty and communication between the two. Their relationship must be true love! and is sure to last.
- WHY WAS THIS SCENE INCLUDED? WHY IS IT WRITTEN LIKE A SITCOM SCRIPT? WHY IS A POTENTIAL DATE RAPE MOMENT WRITTEN SO LIGHTHEARTEDLY?! IN 2024!!! IT IS SERIOUSLY, BLOODY UNCOMFORTABLE!
- How contrived that Artorius rings Belle up right after she and Rune "snap out of the spell", to tell her the potion is a dud, all along. It's supposed to be comedic. In a comedy chapter. WHICH SHOULD NOT BE A COMEDY CHAPTER AND MOMENT AS IT'S ABOUT A LOVE POTION AND DATE RAPE! WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE AUTHOR?! HOW WAS THIS ALLOWED IN 2024?!!!
- The whole scene reminds me of the equally awful date-rape-via-magic-necklace-between-Rose-and-Dimitri scene in the first 'Vampire Academy' book. That is a YA book. Though, if I have to cut it any slack, at least it was published in 2007. What is 'Rewitched''s excuse?
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