Phenomenal.
Throughout a dark, dismal, abysmal and hopeless year, here I am, having finally read something that is a strong contender for the best book of 2020. For 'Loveless' just screams hope.
After centuries of everyone, from such a young age, being bombarded and pressured by societal and cultural heteronormative crap, and by made-up, misogynistic virginity crap, here is a novel that shouts out no more, stop it, from the top of the author's lungs; from the bottom of her tired, scared but determined heart.
Alice Oseman has grown and proven herself to be a certified UK creative writing goddess. Her newest magnum opus, 'Loveless', is about love in its myriad of different forms. It teaches us that you can find long lasting happiness without romantic and/or sexual relationships. And that yes, for some people friendship is more important than romance. Platonic love is just as powerful and meaningful as romantic/sexual love, if not more so.
Life partners can apply to friendships too.
No matter who you are and what your preferences are, and what your sexuality is, or lack thereof, you are not alone. You don't have to be alone forever. There is nothing wrong with you. You are normal and healthy. It is who you are. However long it takes, and how scary and confusing your journey to self-discovery is, you can learn to love yourself. For being yourself. Even in a world that may stubbornly refuse to accommodate to you and your needs; that may refuse to accept and acknowledge you. But there are people out there who will, and will love you for who you are.
A major case and point: Asexual and/or aromantic people are not without love.
The queer spectrum is so vast and varying - the initials LBGTQA don't even begin to cover it - and it is beautiful. No one can be truly alone after all.
'Loveless' is addictive, endearing, bold and harrowing, and is so crushingly relatable and personal a human story that it is both chilling and life affirming. It is one of the most important and revolutionary YA reads ever published. It brought me back to my own university years, and it will help so, so many people, but most notably teenagers, figure out who they are, and their own possible sexual identity. It will help them realise that things are not in black and white, and that humans are messy and complex. Everyone is different, an individual, despite how they may present themselves to others, or what walls they put up around themselves. Everyone is dealing with their own issues.
'Loveless' by Alice Oseman is about Georgia Warr, who loves romance, flirting, and sexual tensions and encounters in films, TV, and fanfiction - in theory. In practice, the girl who is obsessed with cheesy (and heteronormative, thanks Hollywood) rom coms and fanfics finds that she can't really fall in love herself, or have a crush on anyone, no matter how much she tries to force herself to. She's eighteen and has never kissed anyone, which is something that other teens make her feel ashamed and embarrassed about. Maybe she's just shy, or has very high standards, or is there another reason why she's never felt "love" the way others seem to have by now?
Georgia starts her first term at uni in Durham, where, like every fresher student, she longs for the ultimate college experience of: making a fresh start, opening up, putting herself out there, clubbing, joining societies, meeting new people, hooking up, having sex, and finding the special someone, or someones, who will set them up for life. For university is the start of the "proper adult life", or at least that's what everyone's been conditioned to believe in so hardheartedly.
But it doesn't work out how Georgia expected it. She in fact hates doing most of the things listed above. Varying levels of peer pressure and bad advice aside, she finds she is simply not interested. She soon realises that she will never want to kiss anyone or have sex with anyone. As she reluctantly gets involved with a Pride society at uni, she discovers, in depth, the words asexual, and aromantic, and the many definitions they can apply to for a lot of different people. She slowly but surely realises that they do indeed apply to her identity, and it terrifies her and confuses her. Does this mean that she is loveless, that she will spend the rest of her life alone and unhappy? With no happily ever after?
Happily ever after happens easily for loads of couples Georgia knows - both in real life and in fiction - but what about her?
On Georgia's coming-of-age journey, where she makes new friends, and loses and gains back old ones, and where she comes to know friends who have lost and grown apart from other friends - not to mention have left abusive partners in the past - she learns one of the most important lessons in uni, in adulthood, and in life there is: that there is genuine, all encompassing love and support in friendship groups as well. Shy, insecure, lost and human Georgia becomes a part of her own society - a Shakespeare theatre society - and a part of her own little Scooby gang (literally, 'Scooby Doo' is a major theme in the book).
She is not loveless at all, since we see that platonic love, a boon companionship, is, undoubtedly, more important to her than anything.
Georgia Warr is, in reality, all of us; in discovering who we are, and loving ourselves for it. Despite us still living in a heteronormative world where sex, romance, marriage and babies are the be-all-and-end-all of life's goals (especially for women), and so loving ourselves and our individual identities can still be difficult on most days. The key to self-realisation and happiness is in knowing that somewhere, there are people who care for you and who your are. There are people who will relate to you and your struggles and fears, in terms of "fitting in".
No one can ever be alone in the world. Everyone can be happy, in being themselves. No matter how "different" or "weird" people seem, they aren't, and they deserve happiness.
There is an abundance of great characters in 'Loveless'. Among the book's Scooby gang are: Georgia's Hispanic lesbian best friend, the fiery, hilarious and wonderful Pip Quintana; the president of Durham university's Pride soc, the gay asexual Indian Sunil Jha, a precious cinnamon roll who also identifies as nonbinary and uses he/they pronouns; and possibly my favourite character, rising above even Georgia:
Rooney Bach, Georgia's college roommate who goes out clubbing, socialising and having spontaneous hookups and sex on most nights. She is clearly the exact opposite of our heroine. But the extroverted and Shakespeare-loving Rooney is not as well put together as she tries to present herself. She is possibly bisexual (the enemies-to-friends-to-lovers relationship dynamic she has with Pip is cracking and sparkling with tension, and it is glorious), and she suffers from depression. Don't worry, the narrative is adamant that Rooney's problems do not stem from her being sex-positive and having casual sex; she likes sex, but still has self-esteem and confidence issues, resulting from relationships from her guilt-ridden past.
Different though they are from each other, Georgia and Rooney will grow to genuinely care for and love each other. They will understand and support one another, through all the ups and downs. Their platonic devotion is so beautiful, it brought tears to my eyes.
Opposites attract love is another theme in 'Loveless': Georgia and Rooney are the new adult, platonic kind; Georgia and Pip are the childhood friendship kind; and Pip and Rooney are the love/hate, romantic and sexual kind. These girls are like a triangle of opposites love.
The few but magnificent chapters featuring Georgia's adult cousin Ellis are also valuable and crucial to the story. They are also worth analysing the hell out of in English courses in schools and universities. 'Loveless' deserves to be on the curriculum.
The pop culture references are cute, too! There is the subtext, among other ample examples, of no one having to justify their tastes - like what you like, no matter who thinks what - which is so essential to preach in the current, toxic mainstream geek culture.
I mean, wow. 'Loveless' can be sad and uncomfortable to read, but that's a good thing. It is an eyeopener. Beyond quotable on nearly every page. Above everything, it is vitally educational - for the emotions as well as the brain. It may well help sort out some people's identity crises. The characters are awesome and real, and so is the outstanding story. I felt like I was with these gorgeous people the entire time I was reading.
'Loveless' - it is anything but.
My own personal note: At this moment of writing, I am a single woman in my late twenties, and I am still figuring some stuff out about who I am and who I want to be. I am stuck in a situation where it is literally not safe and economically sound for me to make huge life changes, such as moving, finding a new job, socialising, meeting new people, and starting a new, romantic and sexual relationship. For an introvert and advocate personality type like me, there are times when I feel so static, bored and alone that it hurts. Being alone in my own head can be messy and frustrating, especially during this difficult and uncertain present. But thanks to 'Loveless', thanks to Alice Oseman, I now know wholeheartedly that this is okay. That I am okay. There is nothing wrong with me, I have family and friends who love and care for me, and the future is as yet indeterminable.
Thank you, Alice. I confidently and proudly disclose a new favourite book, penned by you.
Thank you for making me, and loads of others, feel not alone at last.
Final Score: 5/5
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