2023 EDIT: Part of my 2023 clear-up, of books I no longer like, or am no longer interested in, or remember well as standing out, or find as special anymore, or I otherwise will not miss.
Final Score: 4/5
Original Review:
"Dispatches from the front-lines of the new girlie-girl culture." - A feminist text from 2011.
Another eye-opener - revealing the dark side to the cute sparkles and glamour often forced on girls, and then used to infantilize women. I'm wondering now whether the "girly" stuff I was into as a kid was due to my own taste, or if it was just because other girls seemed to like them and I unconsciously didn't want to be left out. To belong to the default "norm".
Now I identify myself as someone who likes both girly and not-so-girly things such as superheroes, books (of any genre), movies (action's a fave), and dark, tragic, clever storylines. And feminism too.
I recommend 'Cinderella Ate My Daughter' for people who want to raise feminist daughters in a world that's ridiculously obsessed with dividing people into what's for boys and girls - all for marketing reasons, of course - and is saturated in PINK!
Our profitable, consumerist media and marketing commonly appear to have an exaggerated, perhaps warped, but definitely simplified, concept of what "masculine" and "feminine" mean. This can affect how we view gender from a very young age, and it is harmful. It limits potential in young people. It even threatens those who defy preconceived sexist assumptions and live free to be themselves.
'Cinderella Ate My Daughter' is snarky, well researched and insightful from start to finish. Indeed, it could save girls' lives -or at least their independence - commencing from infancy, before it's too late. Additionally it debunks biological difference myths (marketing techniques make it so natures becomes nurture. It’s its own stubborn self-fulfilling prophecy, whether it realises it or not).
Despite the excuses that "Girls will get over it eventually", "It's just a phase, they'll grow out of the princess stuff", and "It's just TV/music/a movie/make-up, why are you making a big deal out of nothing?" - used to avoid uncomfortable discussions - people are influenced by the media and it's stereotyped depictions all the time.
The book's personal touch comes from the author, Peggy Orenstein, talking about her own experiences in raising her daughter. They are charming, yet simultaneously heartbreaking; how can other people be so cruel to kids based on gender expectations? This is pressuring, and damaging; no wonder so many girls (and boys) have such low self-esteem. No doubt these contingencies are relatable to quite a few parents.
'Cinderella Ate My Daughter' also analyses: the phenomena of the Disney Princesses (Orenstein's right - none of them actually look at each other in any of the promotional materials, so much for girl power); superheroines (yey!); beauty pageants for girl toddlers (I loathe this subgenre of reality television to my very core, and I'm elevated to know it's addressed, researched and discussed thoroughly here); female celebrities and authority figures (young and older), and how the media trivializes, sexualizes and disrespects them in a world full of impressionable young girls; the Madonna/Whore complex; 'Twilight''s lack of agency and independence in its identifiable female "role models"; online and public misogynistic bullying and harassment; as well as a variety of other important topics which affect girls in their daily, social lives.
It isn't perfect, and I don't agree with everything Orenstein says (I personally love anything Disney in spite of its flaws), but it is a useful guide to making the world safer and more diverse for women and men - starting from birth. (And it's sometimes true that, in our patriarchal times, even foetuses are judged and catered to based on their perceived sex - before they've been born!)
Plus, if you didn't hate the colour pink before, after reading 'Cinderella Ate My Daughter', you might. You realise that PINK! is everywhere: in toy aisles for "girls", the toys/kitchen appliances/make-up kits/dolls themselves, "girls" floors, even whole stores for "girls". No wonder a lot of little girls say it's their favourite colour - it's like there's no other choice of colours available to them! Whereas boys are given more freedom of choice when it comes to ambitions, toys and media target demographic (action, trains, planes, cars, weapons, doing more practical/developing/creative stuff etc.)
I'm glad books like this exist, so as not to despair at the state of how society tends to treat girls and women. If Cinderella says, “A dream is a wish your heart makes”, then we can wish for a fairer world; make it our combined dream. Believe in a just cause - a change. Let us work together to make real “girl power” and inclusion happen.
Final Score: 4.5/5
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