Spoilers ahead.
I was so excited to read this book. I'd first heard of it from Amazon, and I bought it in my local bookshop literally the next day.
'This Poison Heart' appears to have everything: a bespectacled Black queer female lead who has two mums, and who has the powers of Poison Ivy to boot; almost an entire POC cast; normalised LBGTQ content (there's also a nonbinary childhood friend for the lead); a gothic atmosphere and mystery; witchcraft; Black sisterhood and female power; Greek mythology - specifically, this is a reinterpretation of Medea, referencing her even outside of Greek myths; and it's a retelling of 'The Secret Garden'. It contains references to 'Hamilton', 'Hadestown', 'Get Out', 'Us', 'Black Panther', Disney's 'Hercules', and yes, DC's Poison Ivy is cited in-text, in comparison to the heroine Briseis's own horticultural and poison making and handling abilities.
Really, what more could you want? It all sounds positively incredible. And throughout the majority of the book, it is.
While slow-paced with not much of a plot happening in 75% of it, I liked the characters (especially the mums, who Briseis calls Mom and Mo, they're awesome and adorable), and the magic and mystery spread over everything, like dark, nightly and star-studded Nutella. The only serious objection I could give the story is: why is Briseis so careless and stupid when it comes to showing off the most poisonous plants in the world, in her secret garden, to other people, who are not immune like she is, and when these plants can kill just by inhalation? That and the romance between Bri and Marie is rather forced, underdeveloped and creepy. Oh and there's also the infuriating everyone-keeping-secrets-from-the-female-teen-protagonist cliché in YA that I hate. But overall, it is well written and addictive, and I was super into it.
But then from page 319 onward, things take a turn for the WTF. Everything goes to shit: huge plot holes, huge sudden character heel turns, idiot balls being juggled, character motivations either making no sense or are nonexistent, and deus ex machinas thrown in like ass pulls a child would scoff at. It is a complete mess. I'm still recovering from the whiplash from this shift in quality. It's like another, woefully unprepared writer took over for the climax. It is so bad it completely destroyed my enjoyment of the rest of the book.
So, here's what happens in the last insultingly dumb fifty-one pages of 'This Poison Heart':
Bri has been finding a few secret doors and hidden compartments in her new house, which she inherited from her birth mother's family. She had been finding notes and letters as well, about where her powers might come from, and about a secret garden, supposedly from her late maternal aunt Circe; all of which she'd kept from her mums. But when she finds another door containing a witch's altar, suddenly and with no explanation whatsoever, she yells for her mums to come and check it out with her, when previously she had been keeping her activities a secret from them, because anything hinting at danger could make them move back to New York, and Bri won't be able to solve the mystery of herself and her heritage. Now the overprotective mums are in on everything - including the preservation of a plant called the Absyrtus Heart, which is a part of the Medea legend and is passed down through her bloodline, and is highly, deadly poisonous, but can grant immortality (what?). Apparently. And it's no big deal. Great.
But that's small weed pulling compared to the biggest problem the book careens and crashes into like an inferno: Mrs. Melissa Redmond.
Mrs. Redmond is the solicitor who, at the beginning, had let Bri and her mums know about Bri's inheritance and the mysterious gothic house just outside the small town of Rhinebeck. Circe Colchis died (but not really, it's revealed later that she went missing for years and was recently presumed dead, but again not really; I'll get back to this), and left her house (and secret garden) in Rhinebeck to her niece Bri, her only living relative. Partly for Bri's benefit, and partly to solve their financial difficulties in New York (they own a flower shop), the family moves into the house, if temporarily. Up until page 332, Mrs. Redmond is shown to be an ally to Bri and her family, and professional and stable, if strict and slightly neglectful towards her teenage son Karter, who befriends Bri and becomes part of her trusted friends group. Redmond is smart, and an adult.
BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT in the next thirty-two pages after page 332, Mrs. Redmond is replaced by a completely different character. She literally comes stumbling into Bri's house looking like hell - beat up, bloodied, hair a mess - and pulls an eviction notice, an order to vacate the property for an auction, on the family straight out of her arse, expecting them to be stupid enough to buy into it. She's desperate, rude, sarcastic, unhinged, and sneers and grins like a bad high school movie alpha bitch.
For you see, it turns out Mrs. Redmond is the villain, the diabolical mastermind behind everything the whole time. She wanted Bri to own the house and find the garden with the poisonous plants, it was she who wrote those notes and letters for the girl to find, not Circe, in order to lead her to the garden, and wherein, the Absyrtus Heart, which Mrs. Redmond wants to grant her immortality. But only Bri can handle it without dying, so Redmond wanted to use her and her powers to get at it.
There was no hint whatsoever about Mrs. Redmond being evil beforehand. She aided Bri (and didn't appear much in the book, at any rate), and never even attempted to steal the keys to the garden's gates from her - some of which the woman had the entire time anyway - and if she needed Bri to get the Absyrtus Heart to her, then why did she attempt to get through the gates before going to the house with the eviction notice, hence why she looked so beat up? (The plants are sentient and only allow Bri with her powers to go through unharmed). Redmond knew what would happen, and Bri had the keys! Which. Mrs. Redmond. Gave. To. Her. Why didn't she just force Bri to retrieve the Heart by threatening one of her mums in the very beginning? She thinks to do this at the end, thus the majority of the book, the large part of the middle, is kind of a convoluted waste of time.
Mrs. Redmond is the worst kind of twist villain in any medium: the reveal comes out of nowhere, is there for the sake of a plot twist, and her personality takes a total 180 turn as soon as the narrative exposes her villainy. Or in this case, her villainy is revealed through stupid, nonsensical contrivances near the very end of the story. Her character change, from professional and hardworking career woman to batshit insane banshee with a god complex (more on this in a bit), is so blatant you have to wonder how she kept up her façade until now. It truly is like she had been replaced by a badly written spoiled child with a bloodlust (she's actually described as crooked and wicked, and not in a good way).
On that subject of her character change, to add another layer of ridiculous and convoluted, it turns out that Mrs. Redmond is descended from the bloodline of Jason, he of the Argonauts (by Hades this is stupid), paralleling her with Bri and her ancestry, dating back to Medea. Redmond wants the Absyrtus Heart (which is like a disembodied part of Medea's brother Absyrtus, thus why her descendants have been protecting it... just, don't ask) to grant her immortality, because she thinks it's her right - her right to be among the gods still walking the earth... gods who had not been mentioned in the book at all before, as existing in contemporary times. She's as one-dimensional a YA fantasy baddie as you can get.
I'm now going to throw up my hands and say "Eff it, let's get on with it,", and quote a line of Redmond's which perfectly encapsulates everything wrong with this "twist" - both to her character and the story - and how mindbogglingly incompetent it is. Here it is, bring on the cringe:
'"I want the Absyrtus Heart, and I want it now."' - page 346
Yes, she actually says this. The wicked, crazier-than-the-Joker-only-never-so-stupid villainess, whom you are somehow meant to view as a serious threat, sounds exactly like Veruca Salt, only taken to demonic extremes.
In fact, that comparison has inspired me: from this point forth, I'll be referring to Mrs. Redmond as Veruca Sore. It's an apt descriptor of her, post-twist villain reveal.
Veruca Sore's son, Bri's friend Karter, was also in on this plan the entire time. Mysterious men and thugs stalking and attacking Bri when the two of them were going out, her mums' car's tires being slashed - all Karter's doing and instigating. Unlike with his mother, I knew that Karter was bad or at least suspicious, when it is said by Dr. Khadijah Grant, public safety officer and social worker in Rhinebeck (again, more on her later), that the bookshop he works at wasn't open for as long as he said it was, and he hasn't worked there for as long as he said he had. But like his mother, his twist villainy reveal is as well handled as a herd of bulls in a teashop. He'd wanted to warn Bri and get her to leave Rhinebeck before Veruca Sore shows up in full crazy mode, but apart from that and a weak "Sorry" and "You said no one else would get hurt" or two, he is unflinchingly loyal to his mother. He even helps her to kill Bri's Mom without hesitation. He is a puppet, a blank slate. And despite it being stated twice during this idiotic and rushed climax that Veruca Sore doesn't give a shit about her son - that she's happy to leave him behind to be immortal, and to risk his life if it means obtaining her victory - the two of them embrace once the vial containing the MacGuffin Heart's grinded remains (the Living Elixir) is in her grasp. Why is Karter so pathetic? He knows his mum doesn't care about him, and that he's basically her slave. The WTF levels in the ending of the book are just... argh!
Also, why didn't Bri figure out that Veruca Sore was the one who murdered her birth mother, Selene, and possibly more of her birth family? Veruca had to mention it in one of her villain monologues for the girl to put two and two together! It's so freaking obvious! I'd thought she already knew it! Why is everyone in this book so moronic?!
Now we come to how the villain is defeated. It is not by the hands of the heroine, the plant and poison controlling young descendent of the tragic Medea, oh no. All Briseis does is tackle Veruca Sore after grinding the MacGuffin Heart for her. But Mom is still murdered by Veruca, and all hope seems lost. Then who should show up out of the blue, but Hecate herself, from a portal to the underworld, with her giant hound (Cerberus? But it doesn't have three heads, so...). More plot twists! Not only has Veruca Sore been using aliases for years in her hunting down of the Medea bloodline (how old is she?! And how old is Karter? And why did she want to kill the Colchis family when she needs them to find the Heart? Why didn't she threaten Selene or Circe into doing her bidding through their loved ones like she's now doing with Bri--ahh, fuck it), but Hecate, the goddess of witchcraft, didn't merely gift Medea with horticultural powers and poison immunity after the death of Absyrtus. No: Medea is Hecate's daughter.
Briseis, our YA fantasy heroine, revolutionary in terms of race and LBGTQ representation, ordinary and relatable aside from her "specialness", her flower power, is a demigoddess. Sure, why the fuck not at this point? It might have been okay if Bri actually did anything in the climax - anything cool - but nope. Even with the powers of a goddess, she's still useless.
Hecate comes right out of nowhere - did someone summon her? Has she been watching the proceedings the whole time? If so then why didn't she intervene earlier?! She is the actual definition of a deus ex machina! - and literally picks Veruca Sore up like a child taken to bed after a temper tantrum, and buggers off to the underworld with her, plus the hound, who also does nothing. And for no reason, Hecate the goddess ex machina lets Karter go! She tells him to go away and never return to the Colchis house and please don't do anything naughty young man while I take your mother to hell, m'kay? I'm sure that won't come back to bite anyone in the arse in the sequel! Karter may be young (I think? It's confusing) and not as cartoonishly, witch-cackling-ly evil as Veruca Sore, but he's been complicit in every one of her evil deeds, including murder!
*screams into eternity*
Why did this have to happen? Why did it happen like this? Why did you betray me, book? I believed in you, I liked you a lot! Now I can never trust any YA literature ever again, old and new!
Also it turns out that Circe is alive (*gasp* WHO COULD HAVE SEEN THAT COMING?!) and she shows up out of nowhere in the last two pages of the book, shamefully setting up the sequel. I'm not joking. Where has she been all along? How did she know to show up now, when things are at their worst and it would have been better to see Briseis much, much earlier? I don't know, and I don't care. I won't be reading the sequel.
Other things I have to criticise: Dr. Grant. She knew about the Colchis women, was friends with them, and apparently she comes from a family of alchemists. Her father, Isaac, is a head alchemist and leader in a secret magic society, or something to that effect. This element to the story goes absolutely nowhere. There's no development, and is only important in the one chapter it is introduced, where Bri serves Isaac in her newly opened apothecary, which belonged to the Colchis women before her. Guess we'll have to wait for the sequel for anything to come of it.
Then there's the romance. Is there a romance? I could hardly tell; it is as underdeveloped as almost everything else. It is instalove, but that's the least of its problems. Marie acts creepy towards Briseis (watching her from outside her new house is only the start). Bri is aware that the strange girl might be dangerous and not what she seems, but she ignores her instincts because Marie is so pretty. Later on it is revealed (plot twist! Pile 'em on!) that Marie is three hundred and seventy six years old, and was lovers with an ancestor of Bri's, who gave her an Absyrtus Heart to save her life and grant her immortality. Oh and she has super strength and can squash men's heads with her bare hands. Somehow none of this deters Bri. She realistically freaks out at first, but after some light kisses, it is clear that Marie is still a viable love interest. A centuries-old woman in a teenage girl's body is flirting with and lusting over a girl who is barely seventeen years old. Said immortal woman was also in love with the girl's ancestor. If Marie had been male, more people would be describing her as toxic, equalling Edward Cullen. Why is she even relevant to the story? She doesn't appear or figure into the big climax in any way.
[2022 EDIT: I have since been informed in the comments that Bri's statement about the awkward and so-clumsy-he-sprains-his-ankle-in-practically-every-chapter-he-appears Karter being "scary" on page 308, means scared in AAVE, and it does not mean scary in the other sense of the word. It is not an editing mistake. I deeply apologise for my ignorance. The only criticism of the scene I'll leave in is: it is still Bri, Marie and Karter going on an inexplicable and ill-advised trip to the poison garden, with Karter being totally unprotected.]
Lou the undertaker. Does he need to exist? Has he and his family been covering up the suspicious deaths of the Colchis women for forever? Why? Does he work for Veruca Sore? It's extremely unclear. But if he does, then why is Karter so hostile to him when they meet, calling him creepy and accusing him of being horrible to Bri?
GAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
This sodding book.
(I praise the LBGTQ rep, except in one aspect: Marlon, Bri's nonbinary childhood friend, doesn't factor into the story in the slightest. They're in the past, in NY, to be forgotten about.)
All right, one last thing I need to bring up:
One of the points that 'This Poison Heart' attempts to make is that the figure of Medea has been a victim of cultural misogyny, in her own time and throughout history. She's been twisted into the ultimate epitome of the woman scorned cliché in our culture and society, to suit the patriarchy's needs, with no sympathy or critical human thought by the men (i.e. the self-appointed winners who are dictating history) writing about her. There's no evidence of her even killing her own children to get back at the cheating Jason; that is only present in Euripides's play.
So, with that in mind, who does the bad guy in 'This Poison Heart' turn out to be? A patriarchal figure? Like Isaac Grant? NAH! Of course not! That makes too much sense. No, the villain is a crazy, murderous, power hungry lady with a god complex and entitlement issues who would let her child die if it meant achieving her goals.
*slow clapping*
That's one way to eff up your moral.
But after all of that negativity, all that BS, I will leave off my review of 'This Poison Heart' with one positive note on the ending: it is centered exclusively on women of colour, the majority of whom are queer. The Black sisterhood angle and image - focusing on Black Sapphic witches - is present and genuine. Credit where it's due, that is powerful and revolutionary, especially for YA.
Nyx, Marie's bodyguard (does she really need one?)/butler, is cool, too. She's described as like Okoye.
It's a shame the writing and plotting doesn't compliment the abovementioned image. 'This Poison Heart' still falls back on old, annoying YA tropes, and features the worst villain I have ever encountered in YA in a long, long time.
I'm sorry. I didn't like the author's previous novel, 'Cinderella Is Dead', either. Maybe Kalynn Bayron's writing isn't for me. I want it to be, because she offers great ideas and representation. I am saddened that me being a fan of hers isn't meant to be. I won't be reading any more of her work.
Apologies to the author and the readers who love this book. I mean no disrespect, but I had to add my own opinions to the beloved book community; get them out there.
That's my review of 'This Poison Heart'. I hope everyone has a lovely, stress-free day.
Final Score: 2/5
