2026 REREAD: Indeed, A LOT has changed, and a lot of it NOT for the better, since I first read 'The Secret Loves of Geek Girls' ten years ago. I am not in my twenties anymore - a fact I find I'm still grappling with, existentially - and I am currently single (most distressfully and depressingly, in recent years I have been processing how my past relationship was not, in fact, healthy, and I was right to end it when I did; however, one of my deepest fears, anxieties and insecurities is being alone, pathetic, and never finding "true love").
Wow, I have been very depressed during the 2020s.
But darn it, I still enjoy this little book of geek girl love. It's more than just nostalgia, and reminiscing about a better, happier and more hopeful time - a "simpler" time. Some of the stories in the anthology, by fellow geeky "weird" women, continue to resonate with me. Many remain relevant, and they are all painfully, truthfully human, and relatable in one way or another, to any person.
If nothing else, 'The Secret Loves of Geek Girls' is a reminder that: You are not alone.
No one is alone. No one has ever been alone.
You are not "weird". You are not a "freak" - not nearly as much as you may have thought.
The patriarchy - the white supremacist, cishet-normative, capitalist patriarchy - is a killer, in so many, devastating ways. It's a killer of creativity, and hopes and dreams, for one.
Be warned: With its mixture of prose as well as comics, 'The Secret Loves of Geek Girls' is not light reading to be devoured in a day. Therein lie some complicated, heavy life and relationship stuff.
I am a geek girl at heart - most prominently a bookworm, a comic and graphic novel geek, and an animation fan - and I always will be, even now as I'm approaching my mid-thirties. I am a sensitive soul, a feelings person, and that's not likely to change, either, and I don't want it to. I'm at a point in my life where I can say I'm comfortable with who I am, and where I am, at the moment.
Everything I have written in the past, seen below, still applies, in a way.
One more point, though: It is always best to stay positive when you can, and remember love and community, that will never leave you, no matter the state of the world and humanity.
I still hope for a better world.
I will treasure my copy of 'The Secret Loves of Geek Girls'. It's passionate, feminist, diverse, humorous, adorable, raw, honest, and highly interesting and introspective, and an essential survival guide for geek girls and humanity in general.
Female solidarity forever.
Now I look forward to the sequel, 'Secret Loves of Geeks'.
Final Score: 3.5/5
2022 EDIT: A lot has changed. Like my tastes, and experiences, and maybe I've experienced too much of horrible reality now to really identify with 'The Secret Loves of Geek Girls'. I admit I spent most of rereading it skimming, but I got a good, general idea of each of the stories, told through comics, prose, texts etc. Some of them are still relatable and relevant, even cute.
But...I'm sad and exhausted.
Maybe I've become a jaded, miserable, unfulfilled woman in my thirties - and this anthology collection came out in 2015, and the cosmos knows so much has changed since then (myself, society, pop culture, fandom, politics, the whole media sphere). That naïve, hopeful era seems like a lifetime ago, doesn't it?
So, in 2022, I think that 'The Secret Loves of Geek Girls' is dated, and has not aged well. Now that I'm older and have had a deeper dive into more staples of pop culture, in a strange kind of paradox I feel further alienated from the lives and geek loves of these women. In fact some of their observations are like a slap in the face to me (not all of them, mind you, but they stick out significantly to me). Are my tastes, interests, opinions and ways of looking at things so differing to others, even other "weird" women? Or am I just a lonely pessimist? In other cases I might be too much of an optimist.
Do I still consider myself a geek, after all this time? I don't know. It's mainly toxic fandoms, and toxic, problematic creators, and family and friend disagreements, that have destroyed my interest in most geeky media. It's unbelievably overwhelming. Heh. People are flawed, aren't they? With that fact it makes it harder to reconcile. Why can't we simply get over ourselves, and love each other for our differences, and not let them divide us?
There are exceptions to my newfound "not going to bother with this it's sourcing vile toxicity" rule, however, like childhood loves that are impossible to kill; examples include Sailor Moon, Batgirl, Wonder Woman, Harley Quinn, Captain Marvel, She-Ra, and I remain a huge animation and graphic novel fan and supporter.
Representation matters. Always has, always will.
Other than that, I do feel like an alien in spaces where it's supposed to be the opposite; where I should feel safe, welcomed and respected for being me and for having opinions. I'm scared to talk about anything considered geeky with anyone, now. The toxicity, the entitlement, the backlashes, the hostile pushback on diversity, the outright violence and hate towards what's supposed to be just fun escapist entertainment, has reached zenith levels. Toxic fans are not fans. Remember enjoyment and passion?
It often seems like things have only gotten worse, not better.
I don't want to live like that, walking on eggshells over things that don't matter. Yet they kind of do.
It's hard to be positive; to not be cynical, to not be overly sensitive to others' views, it really is. It's crushing sometimes. It's isolating.
Sorry for my vague ramblings here. I don't want to get too personal. Though, evidently, perhaps I've failed at that. Like everyone fails at a lot of things in life.
Here's me, in early 2022, everyone: an uncommitted, weary, wavering, paradoxical geek woman, vulnerable and exposed in writing.
But, despite everything, I remain hopeful that things will get better. They have to. They need to. I cling to that hope, quietly.
Farewell, 'The Secret Loves of Geek Girls'. You are an overoptimistic, brief, pale, fading light in my past, but I will always appreciate your passion, colour, introspections, and diversity. And your hope.
Final Score: 3/5
Original Review:
An anthology about the awkward, sad and cheerful love lives - old and new - of professional geek girls; always present, human and awesome.
Behold the unflinchingly personal, honest, refreshing, diverse and relevant coming-of-age true stories - told creatively in prose, illustrations and/or comic panel styles - of Margaret Atwood (yes, THAT Margaret Atwood), Hope Nicholson (also the book's editor), Stephanie Cooke, J.M. Frey, Katie West, Cherelle Higgins, Meaghan Carter, Megan Kearney, Megan Lavey-Heaton, Laura Neubert, Diana McCallum, Brandy Dawley, Marjorie M. Liu, Mariko Tamaki, Marguerite Bennett, Trina Robbins, Natalie Smith, Emma Woolley, Sam Maggs, and many other women (there are over 50 short stories in total). Women who are into comics, movies, TV shows, video games, fanfiction, RPGs, books, fanbase forums, dating profiles, and other mediums, as they navigate their varied love and sex lives, or lack of.
No matter what, no matter how different their lives and experiences are, and no matter the decade, these girls are happy. Happy for who they are, and who they are with; be it lovers or friends. As well as being racially diverse, the LBGTQ spectrum presented in this book is outstanding; revolutionary in fact. Asexuality and Demisexuality do exist!
These geek girls may be nerdy outcasts, but they are not antisocial. From childhood, they struggled and grew into funny, kind and intelligent ladies who want what is best for themselves and the people in their circles.
Altogether, geek girls are a community. They have always been around, contributing to geek culture, storytelling and technology (also feminist analysis) in their own special ways.
'The Secret Loves of Geek Girls' is so relatable to me, and it resonates with me personally as a fellow geek girl, which I am now fully proud to be, even when balancing out relationships in the big wide, scary world.
This book, this anthology of women's lives, tells us this: You are not alone. We went through this too. You never were alone, and you never will be.
Keep fighting, keep doing what you love. You can and will find someone who loves you for who you are. And even amid sexist backlash or heartbreak, you will be okay.
Geek guys, listen up: Geeks girls are not some new "trend"; that's nowhere near close to the truth. Nor are they a dying breed. Bullshit. We have always existed, and we have lives different yet similar to everyone else in humanity.
While I didn't connect to every story in this anthology, the recurring themes of societal pressures and relationships are important and universal. So I recommend 'The Secret Loves of Geek Girls' to anyone, even those who don't consider themselves to be geek girls, or geeks at all. Because as it turns out, no one is weird.
But it's cool to be weird anyway, so why the hell judge?
Weird geeks girls - we are many, we are here for each other!
Final Score: 4/5
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