Saturday, 30 June 2018

Have you ever heard of a film/web series called 'Electra Woman and Dyna Girl'? I didn't, until I happened to stumble upon the DVD on Amazon when making my purchases. From the title alone, I couldn't resist.

Based on the classic '70s show, this updated, modernized take is funny, clever, sharp, and an all around enjoyable experience. The two leads, YouTube stars Grace Helbig and Hannah Hart, are good actors and they have fantastic chemistry. Female friendship is the heart and soul of the story and it stays that way. No love interests!

If you care about female-led superhero projects, then definitely check it out. If you're a fan other web miniseries' such as 'Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog', then it's worth your time. It deserves as much attention as the 'Wonder Woman' movie, and the 'Supergirl' and 'Jessica Jones' TV series', in my opinion. It's not bad for a low-budget passion project.

As underrated as 'Birds of Prey', I recommended 'Electra Woman and Dyna Girl'!

Ready Player One Read-Through: Chapter 31


Content warning: stalking, gun purchasing, references to gun violence and death.



To make a long, long story short, Wade, despite his severe sleep deprivation, manages to hack into a Sixers' weaponry system, order a maintenance tech uniform complete with ID badge, deactivate both his security anklet and eargear by himself, and walk out of the IOI plaza headquarters undetected before his morning shift.


I rode the elevator down in silence, trying not to stare at the camera mounted above the doors. Then I realized the video being shot of me would be scrutinized when this was all over.  Sorrento himself would probably see it, and so would his superiors. So I looked directly into the lens of the camera, smiled, and scratched the bridge of my nose with my middle finger. (Page 297)


A middle finger to the camera. During his escape attempt.

So smart, yet so dangerously stupid!

Wade is a smug, reckless arsehole.

Of course he doesn't get caught.


A steady stream of overcaffeinated office workers scurried across the lobby and in and out of the elevators and exits. These were regular employees, not indents. They were allowed to go home at the end of their shifts. They could even quit if they wanted to. I wondered if it bothered any of them, knowing that thousands of indentured slaves lived and toiled here in the same building, just a few floors away from them. (Page 297)


£"£&%$*^&*&^(*&_*_&^*^%^$%£$"!"!¬"£¬!¬"£""£!£%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You never cared about the indentured slaves yourself, you little shit! NOT WHEN YOU WERE WORKING RIGHT ALONGSIDE THEM! NOT WHEN YOU JUST ABANDONED THEM! TO SAVE YOUR OWN ARSE! 

Don't you dare act all high-and-mighty and morally superior now!

He makes it out no trouble, despite being very conspicuous. Good thing there are no retina scans!

Wade is extremely fucking lucky, isn't he?

Is this the real life, or is it just the OASIS? Is the IOI playing tricks on Wade, and this is actually virtual reality - that he only thinks he is escaping?

Nope! Everybody else really is that stupid. And Ready Player One truly is that simple and straightforward. Critically-acclaimed book!

I can only hold onto my suspension of disbelief for so long.

Once outside, Wade logs onto the OASIS inside a post office box rental.


My heart was pounding as I logged in. I'd been offline for eight whole days--a personal record. (Page 298)


Nothing to be proud of there, Wade!

Only eight days imprisonment - our hero hasn't suffered much then, has he? Not compared to others. Not compared to other indents. Other internment prisoners.

Selfish, privileged wanker.

In the OASIS he sends his friends emails telling them everything, and to meet him in the Basement ASAP. He is sure they will do as he says, and won't be suspicious and untrustworthy.

Everything goes according to plan for Wade. As stated, Ready Player One is that simple.

He also adds in his message to Art3mis: "PS--I think you look even more beautiful in real life." EW! NO! NO! What is he thinking!? How will she not be disgusted by this!?

He finds out that Bryce Lynch is a wanted fugitive by now. He erases that identity and is Wade Watts again. He goes out in public  - a wanted man with cameras and IOI-owned software about - and buys a gun.

From a vending machine.


A few blocks later, I ducked into a Vend-All franchise. Inside there were rows of vending machines that sold everything under the sun. One of them, labeled DEFENSE DISPENSER, offered self-defense equipment: lightweight body armor, chemical repellents, and a wide selection of  handguns. I tapped the screen set into the front of the machine and scrolled through the catalog. After a moment's deliberation, I purchased a flak vest and a Glock 47C pistol, along with three clips of ammo. I also bought a small canister of mace, then paid for everything by pressing my right palm to a hand scanner. My identity was verified and my criminal record was checked. (Page 300)


SHIT!

Guns, pistols, armour, chemicals - a whole fucking arsenal - purchased from a public vending machine!

In the future, guns are handed out as easily as Pez dispensers.

Is this social commentary? Is this a parody? About the current US gun control policies, and its gun violence epidemic and death toll?

If so, then why so blase about it!? Why no introspection? It's just like with the out-of-the-blue suicide plan in chapter 24.

Why bring up such a serious, life-or-death issue if you're not going to do anything with it?!

If anything, the above quote reads like gun porn. Wade has an unnerving amount of knowledge about guns. From living in the stacks? From virtual reality games? Is gun information included in Halliday's Anorak's Almanac? For what purpose?

FYI, "self-defense" is used a lot to excuse most gun violence in America. And police brutality.

What's more: All of the weapons that Wade buys? THEY ARE NEVER USED! EVER! They are a Chekhov's Gun that never goes off!

Many, many trees died to make every single copy of Ready Player One. To make the movie and its advertisements as well.


NAME: WADE WATTS.
OUTSTANDING WARRANTS: NONE.
CREDIT RATING: EXCELLENT.
PURCHASE RESTRICTIONS: NONE.
TRANSACTION APPROVED!
THANK YOU FOR YOUR BUSINESS! (Page 300)


"Activities: None
Sports: None.
Honors: None.

So many memories!"

Getting enough weaponry to start a civil war is just that easy!

Wade describes how holding a real gun feels familiar to him because he'd fired thousands of firearms in virtual reality. No. Fuck no. Guns are not toys, Wade. Real ones are not the same as fake ones. They are not to be used for games. Grow up, before you seriously kill someone.

Wade enters an OASIS parlor chain called the Plug, where he can access the OASIS in his own private room. The Plug, despite being high-profile and relatively expensive to use, is not controlled by the IOI, so our lucky hero remains safe. Convenient!

He still has enough money to do what he wants.

How much money does this kid have?

AAAAAAAANNNNND we're back inside the OASIS! So long, reality! And thanks for all the fish.

Max is back! Locked and uploaded. Did Wade even miss him? I don't know. He'd never mentioned him since first deleting him, and he expresses no emotion upon seeing him again. There wasn't any loss. Seriously.

Wade emails everything he found in IOI's files to major newsfeeds, and sends a single message to every gunter, letting them know what has been going on. Then he logs into the Basement, where Art3mis, Aech and Shoto are already waiting for him.

End of chapter 31.

Wade is in full-Gary Stu mode now. And it is climbing higher still...

The male power fantasy, luck, and plot contrivance have not reached their peak yet. Believe it or not, the book gets more ridiculous.

The nightmare never ends; it just gets worse...

Ready Player One Read-Through: Chapter 30


Content warning: sexism, stalking, cyber stalking.



Wade escapes.

I should just end it there, and spare you the tedious and infuriating details.

But apparently I'm a masochist, and there isn't much joy in being me.

Let's continue:

Wade is put on twelve-hour shifts in his cubicle, advising OASIS users on how to solve their problems. He begrudgingly helps an avatar called "HotCock007". Names like that do exist on the internet in the future, then.

Social commentary that I highly doubt Cline intended to include: How men, based on what usernames they give themselves on the internet, are obsessed with their genitals, like women aren't, apparently. Or women aren't supposed to be - sexually-inclined, that is.

Wade is moaning about having a real job. Again.


During each shift, I was given three five-minute restroom breaks. Lunch was thirty minutes. I usually ate in my cubicle instead of the cafeteria, so I wouldn't have to listen to the other tech reps bitch about their calls or boast about how many perk points they're earned. I'd grown to despise the other indents almost as much as the customers. (Page 265-266)


*&&^"T^%W^"%^&"^*&!^("*!^"&%£&*^"£(")*)"_)£_!*)£(*"&£^£%!£!%"%!£r^£!^%%!!!%!!!

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh my gods, Wade is an irredeemable ass to other indents - other prisoners, who are just trying to survive in an impossible situation - to people who are no different than him. People who are trying to be friendly and hold on to any shred of humanity and individuality they have left.

Have I made it clear yet that I hate this selfish, thoughtless, entitled whiner?!

He doesn't try to free them later, either. He ends up escaping and gives no thought to - no fucks about - his fellow prisoners of a corrupt system. We don't even get to meet any of them, find out what they are really like and what their backstories are.

WADE. DOESN'T. CARE.

OUR. FUCK-MY-LIFE. HERO!

(There is also a line about Wade being issued "two little red pills each day" to help with his narcolepsy. Like with his antianxiety pills in chapter 28, it is not referred to again and is completely inconsequential. The only thing worth noting about it is that it might be another The Matrix reference.)

What proceeds is a long, boring, lucky, inane escape plan. Wade uses illegal and bloody lucky means to bullshit his way into IOI's files, totally undetected.

He is the greatest, luckiest hacker ever! Edward from Cowboy Bebop, Barbara Gordon, Lisbeth Salander, Mac from Veronica Mars, and Rihanna from Ocean's 8 combined couldn't have pulled this off - not as quickly as Wade does, at any rate!

He manages to access every single one of IOI's top secret, confidential files from his sleeping pod. Including their research on everything to do with Halliday, and files on himself and his avatar, and on Art3mis, Aech, and Shoto. Daito's file has a giant red X on it. Conveniently, Wade's current whereabouts are unknown to the Sixers; they'd lost track of him after they blew up his aunt's trailer.

The plot is extremely kind to him.


I closed the window, took a deep breath, and opened the file on Art3mis. (Page 291)


Creeper looks up Art3mis's file - all of her private details are in there - with no thought, no prompting, no crisis of conscience whatsoever.

He doesn't need to do this. Seriously, he doesn't. Time is of the essence and he is trying to escape from his imprisonment. He could be detected at any moment.

As with everything else, his top priority is listening to his erection.

Wade Watts is, always has been, and unfortunately always will be, a stalker.


At the very top was a school photo of a young girl with a distinctly sad smile. To my surprise, she looked almost identical to her avatar. The same dark hair, the same hazel eyes, and the same beautiful face I knew so well--with one small difference. Most of the left half of her face was covered with a reddish-purple birthmark. I would later learn that these types of birthmark were sometimes referred to as "port wine stains." In the photo, she wore a sweep of her dark hair down over her left eye to try to conceal the mark as much as possible. (Page 291)


...

...

...


Is it too late to quit? Right now?

Because holy fuck, this is stupid!





Rant time:

Art3mis is still pretty! Of course she would look exactly the same as her avatar! Not like she could have used her imagination to look like anyone or anything else in the OASIS! Lucky for Wade that he wasn't pining over a complete fantasy like a pathetic basement dweller who never goes outside and never talks to any real girls after all!

The birthmark on her face - it changes nothing. It means nothing. It is not a big deal. Are you telling me that a mark that is inherent, that could easily be covered up with make-up or anything else, is the only thing that makes Art3mis imperfect-looking by Wade's standards? That is the reason for her insecurities about her looks? In a 2040s society? Her self-esteem is affected not because she might have acne, or is overweight, like Wade used to be, or she might be deformed in any way? Not because she has a disability?

No. Art3mis's reason for her low self-esteem and low self-respect, is because she does not fit perfectly into the mold of western culture's standards of impossible-to-achieve feminine beauty. All her life she was made to feel bad about herself, because she isn't considered pretty enough to be important or worth paying attention to in a backwards, sexist society and culture. In the 2040s.

ARE WE SERIOUSLY MEANT TO BE CONGRATULATING WADE FOR STILL LOVING A WOMAN WHO DOES NOT LOOK 100% SUPERMODEL PERFECT!?

ARE WE MEANT TO GIVE HIM BROWNIE POINTS JUST FOR THIS!?

"Repulsed" (Page 186) - MY. ARSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The birthmark is a cowardly cop out, nothing more. Cline could have took a real risk here. He could have used this opportunity to actually subvert a trope - have a female love interest who is in fact considered unattractive to the straight white male gaze; giving it and beauty standards a giant fuck-you.

But he chose not to. His straight white male power fantasy wouldn't allow it. As a result, Art3mis is no better than the tiny-pink-sunburned Therru from the only universally-viewed bad Studio Ghibli movie, Tales from Earthsea.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: Ready Player One is not realistic. No basis in reality is presented when it comes to the straight white male gaze and default.


Art3mis had led me to believe that in reality she was somehow hideous, but now I saw that nothing could have been further from the truth. To my eyes, the birthmark did absolutely nothing to diminish her beauty. If anything, the face I saw in the photo seemed even more beautiful to me than that of her avatar, because I knew this one was real. (Page 292)


Well aren't you a fucking noble prince, Wade!

Looks still matter, here. "Beauty" - that is the exact word used - is still considered a positive and vital trait in a woman. Wade is still a shallow prick.

I know I'm all over the place about this, but it just makes me so angry. I can't believe I've been going on about it for this long!

Wade learns Art3mis's real name (Samantha Evelyn Cook), plus her age (twenty), and that she's Canadian. Also her height, weight, school transcripts going back to kindergarten, blood type, and her fucking address in the real world.

STALKER! STALKER! THIS IS SLASHER KILLER TERRITORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

All of this snooping is done behind Art3mis's back. It is beyond creepy. Wade is a potential horror movie villain.

He finds out about how IOI have been spying on her for the past five months. He does not see the absolute irony of this situation.

Everybody is stalking Art3mis, the only female lead in the story so far. Nobody cares, because Cline doesn't see anything wrong with this setup.

I should be past disgusted at this point, but I'm not.

There are eighty-pages left of this crap to go.

Afterwards Wade skims over Aech's and Shoto's files. As opposed to Art3mis's whole page worth of info, they get one paragraph dedicated to their real life details. However, Aech is seemingly always on the move, therefore the Sixers know the least about him and his whereabouts. His name is also listed as "Henry Swanson" - which Wade knows is fake because it is a reference to Big Trouble in Little China. Between this and Wade's own Bryce Lynch fake alias, the Sixers really suck at spotting '80s references; when the plot needs them to, of course.

Wade then opens Daito's file - for evidence, I guess. The Sixers were stupid enough to film themselves murdering Daito/Toshiro. Why? It's incriminating evidence!

Yes, Wade will use the video against them near the end, exposing their evil plans to the public! He copies this, along with the files and Sorrento's directive memo, to his flash drive. A memo about abducting and then "disposing of" the High Five on the Scoreboard.

It is the only decent thing Wade has done so far in the chapter - perhaps in the whole damn book.

The cartoonishly evil IOI corporation is plotting murder all over the place. Wade still looks no better.

For the sake of a ticking clock to save his friends, Wade changes his plan. Before, he'd set up a timed funds transfer to his IOI credit account, paying off his entire debt, so they will have to release him within five days. That wouldn't have looked suspicious!

But he needs to escape the next day now.

Wade Watts is acting genuinely heroic for the first time in the book. It only took him 294 pages. It doesn't make up for his lecherous stalking and selfish inconsideration for other indents at IOI.

End of chapter 30.

Ready Player One Read-Through: Chapter 29


Content warning: government corruption, homelessness, references to refugees, slavery, immigration, airport security, sexism.



Wade sees outside the truck that the real world has been neglected so badly that it is practically a wasteland.


The number of homeless people seemed to have increased drastically. Tents and cardboard shelters lined the streets, and the public parks I saw seemed to have been converted into refugee camps. (Page 276).


People are clustered wherever to get a good GSS wireless connection, using cheap and outdated visors and haptic gloves. Virtual reality is the only reality now to humans.

Halliday did all of this. He is responsible.

What did Wade expect? He's part of the problem, as well. Everything is taken in stride, unchallenged, as usual.

The homeless people, the refugee camps; these are never mentioned again, by the way.

They arrive at the 101 IOI (clever?) Plaza, one of its headquarters.


The buildings looked identical to their headquarters in the OASIS on IOI-1, but here in the real world they seemed much more impressive. (Page 276)


How? How are they more impressive? Reality more impressive than virtual? Explain!

In addition, there is overuse of the word "seemed".

They enter the "IOI INDENTURED EMPLOYEE INDUCTION CENTER". Wade gets into a queue, and luckily isn't recognized for his true self by any scanners (he remains Bryce Lynch to the government - how has no one picked up on the Max Headroom reference yet!?). Devices are removed from people in the line:


A dude just ahead of me in line actually had a top-of-the-line miniature Sinatro OASIS console concealed inside a prosthetic testicle. Talk about balls. (Page 277)


Okay, that is a funny quote that made me chuckle.

This could be seen as a parody of airport and/or other security post-911; except, again, issues such as race, class and immigration don't seem to exist in this book at this specific time. Ready Player One has no balls.

In a cubicle, Wade is then given a visor and gloves that don't log onto the OASIS but "I still found it comforting to put on." He answers test questions, wisely not revealing too much and not risking compromising his identity.


I was already tempting fate more than anyone in their right mind ever would. (Page 278)


He does learn, then.

He's still ridiculously lucky, though. So no stakes and tension, once again.

He is offered a job at an IOI cubicle, as an OASIS Technical Support Representative. It's to supposedly pay off debts to the IOI, but--


This was a complete joke, of course. Indents were never able to pay off their debt and earn their release. Once they got finished slapping you with pay deductions, late fees, and interest penalties, you wound up owing them more each month, instead of less. Once you made the mistake of getting yourself indentured, you would probably remain indentured for life. A lot of people didn't seem to mind this, though. They thought of it as job security. It also meant they weren't going to starve or freeze to death in the street. (Page 278)


A corrupt corporation - how original!

General complacency in corruption, slave labour, and the underprivileged being mistreated, tortured, and killed or left to die - that's... scarily true of our world right now.

This is the intentional dystopic part in Ready Player One - and it is set in the real world. Wade is now a tool of IOI instead of the OASIS. Halliday only made it slightly less obvious in the fake virtual world.

Either way, Wade is a tool.

Let's look at the implications here:

Reality = evil, bleak, hopeless, corrupt, full of poverty, no individuality (all the indents and other workers at IOI look the same and wear the same gray, drab colours), and no one is trying anything to make things better.

Escapism = good, colourful, full of hope, full of happiness, and is considered to be "freedom"; the only form of it. For those who are privileged enough to have access to it, of course, unlike the many, many homeless people trapped and dying in the real world.

Nobody cares about that. Certainly not Wade.

Our hero!

Wade is indoctrinated into the IOI job and life sentence, on a conveyor belt, just like a product - a disposable commodity. He is washed, rinsed and cleaned through a machine, and put into a gray jumpsuit.


At the next station, a bank of machines gave me a complete physical, including a battery of blood tests. (Luckily, the Genetic Privacy Act made it illegal for IOI to sample my DNA.) Then I was given a series of inoculations with an array of automated needle guns that shot me in both shoulders and both ass cheeks simultaneously. (Page 279)


Lucky lucky lucky! Wade is so lucky!

I should advise at this point not to continue with the "lucky" drinking game - from this moment forth, Wade will be shooting luck rainbows out of his arse. Death by alcohol poisoning is possible. So I'll cease it, indefinitely.

Why would the IOI care about any privacy act anyway? They're already corrupt, and clearly don't care about the law, as long as they don't get caught. Wade should be either trapped in Sorrento's office or dead by now.

Instead, he is fitted with a security anklet, to monitor his location and keep him in line, or else an electric shock or tranquilizer will doom him. An electronic device is pierced onto his earlobe, called an "eargear". Security is extremely tight in this facility.

Wade will still be fine and get to do what he'd planned, no problem.

He eats tasteless food at a prison cafeteria, is given permission to go to the toilet, and later is directed to his sleeping quarters. His bed is an eggshell sleeping capsule, where inside is a TV with only one IOI-made, produced and approved channel, with only their programmes on.

The brainwashing, corrupt, totalitarian, evil government corporation is very OTT. A bit more obvious than what the OASIS is intended for by Halliday. In fact, I think the IOI exists only to make the OASIS look better in comparison.


Despite my best efforts, my thoughts drifted to Art3mis. Regardless of what I'd been telling myself, I knew she was the real reason I'd gone through with this lunatic plan. What the hell was wrong with me? There was a good chance I might never escape for this place. I felt buried under an avalanche of self-doubt. Had my dual obsessions with the egg and Art3mis finally driven me completely insane? Why would I take such an idiotic risk to win over someone I'd never actually met? Someone who appeared to have no interest in ever talking to me again?
    Where was she right now? Did she miss me? (Page 282)


She has been avoiding you for over a year. She hasn't contacted you in over a year. I think she's alright without you.

Wade knows how insane the plan is, and how fucked up his reasons for concocting it are. Nonetheless, he doesn't care, even when his life is on the line.

How can somebody supposedly so smart and careful be so idiotic when it comes to priorities? Like with Art3mis, a girl he's never met and hasn't heard from in over a year?

Girls should come with warning tattoos marked on them like cattle, shouldn't they? "Warning: May cause boners, lack of thinking, lack of logic, and life risking based on no solid reasoning. Proceed with caution. Or just ignore and don't ever look, nor listen to. Any bare skin (that you are reading this on right now) may arouse predatory nature and cause sexual assault. Blame her, it's all her fault for existing, anyway, so don't worry at all. Treat however you want."

So ends chapter 29. Onto further un-ironic irony, un-self-awareness, disrespect of privacy, stalking, and of course, luck!

Friday, 29 June 2018

Ready Player One Read-Through: Level Three: Chapter 28


Content warning: drug use, fat shaming, sexism, references to police brutality and slavery.



Hey, you wanna hear more of what Halliday had to say?


Going outside is highly overrated.
- Anorak's Almanac, Chapter 17, Verse 32


Fuck you, James Halliday. Everything bad that has happened so far in this book is all your fault.

This is the man so universally admired. A lonely, secluded, pathetic egomaniac with a god complex. Your messiah, everyone!

So, Wade has put into motion his complex, dangerous plan that will likely get him killed for real. Many, many things can go wrong with it. What does he do once the action starts, where there is no going back?

He watches a children's film.


When the IOI corporate police came to arrest me, I was right in the middle of the movie Explorers (1985, directed by Joe Dante). It's about three kids who build a spaceship in their backyard and then fly off to meet aliens. Easily one of the greatest kid flicks ever made. I'd gotten into the habit of watching it at least once a month. It kept me centered. (Page 269)


Priorities!

What a smug bastard.

Also, why include the year that the film came out, along with the name of its director? This didn't happen before whenever a film was referenced in the narration. Did Cline's lawyers come knocking on his door around this point of him writing and editing Ready Player One, like how the IOI police are at Wade's apartment complex now? Couldn't the author have just cited the film in a footnote? It's kind of distracting in the text like that, especially in first-person narration.

Also also, the "three kids": meaning "three boys." Three boys building stuff and going off on adventures. When are we going to actually see either Wade or Halliday liking female-led movies? Any female-led movies that are mentioned in Anorak's Almanac?

The IOI "dropcops" or "drones" force their way into Wade's secluded stronghold in the real world using welders. Wade lets us know that the dropcops call this "doing a C-section." Wow, you could not have used more misogynistic language if you tried.


I dry-swallowed two of the antianxiety pills I'd ordered in preparation for this day. I'd already taken two earlier that morning, but they didn't seem to be working. (Page 271)


Wait, Wade is a pill-popper now? Since when?

From how he describes his usage he's going to have an overdose!

Didn't both his mother and his aunt also take drugs irresponsibly in order to cope with reality? And look how well it turned out for them!

This isn't brought up again. It literally only exists in a single small paragraph. Terrific. Yet another serious issue the author introduces out of nowhere and then drops just as quickly.

Wade thinks that now is the perfect time to look at the Scoreboard. Art3mis, Aech and Shoto have a copy of the Crystal Key, through no effort of their own, but thanks to Wade's helpful email to them. You bet he's proud of himself.

Art3mis is in first place again, and Wade doesn't think much of it, which is something. Gotta acknowledge the nuggets in a river of bullshit.

Wade wipes out his hard drive and melts his computer using a self-destruct sequence. Max is deleted (for now) - and I've realized how very little the reader gets to know him, even as an AI. We don't know how much of an effect he has had on Wade's miserable, lonely existence. No room for feelings and attachments for our hero!

The dropcops use police brutality on him:


I curled into a ball on the floor and closed my eyes. I started to shake involuntarily. I tried to prepare myself for what I knew was about to happen next.
    They were going to take me outside. (Page 273)


Oh the horror!

That is meant to be funny, right? Right?

They take him out to their transport truck. Wade expresses no emotions, no relapses, from being in the sun and breathing fresh air for the first time in over half a year. It is snowing, too, and he only describes feeling very cold. He is cutting it close to voicing the inner thoughts of a calm sociopath.

After letting himself be captured by the IOI, the very company that murdered his family and neighbours, as part of his grand plan, Wade unintentionally shows how less human he has become in locking himself up in complete and utter isolation for so long.

Other people are in the truck with him, also IOI's prisoners. One is a malnourished man. The other--


The other indent was morbidly obese, and I couldn't be sure of the person's gender. I decided to think of him as male. His face was obscured by a mop of dirty blond hair, and something that looked like a gas mask covered his nose and mouth. (Page 274)


Of course the morbidly obese person would be a guy to you. Heaven forbid poor little Wade be exposed to any fat women in his life - now that would severely traumatize him! Sexist pig.

In fact, wouldn't it be a neat twist if the person turned out to be Art3mis in real life? Show how totally not shallow and superficial our hero is after all? Or show him to confront and then overcome his prejudices and preconceptions of women?

Nah! Ready Player One is nowhere near as clever and risky as that. Male power fantasy plows on. Objectifying women and shaming fat people (when the hero himself was once fat) remain unchallenged. The poor, suffering, morbidly obese guy, who is in the same situation as Wade, is there for the oh-so empathetic Wade to be disgusted by him. Our hero!

I've read too much of this book. Let's end with saying that Wade and the other inconsequential indents are on their way to IOI headquarters, to basically work as slaves. The word "slave" is even used on more than one occasion in the following chapters. No reference to any real life, historic slavery is made, whatsoever. Issues of race and class and how privilege works are never discussed. In a book that just included police brutality, drugs, and forced incarceration and internment.

Critically-acclaimed sci-fi dystopia, everyone!

Next up, chapter 29.

Thursday, 28 June 2018

Ready Player One Read-Through: Chapter 27


Leftover note from last time: Which version of Blade Runner did Wade watch over four dozen times? Which cut? All of them? This seems like a big oversight on Cline's part, as a huge fan of the movie.



Everything is fucking awful at the moment. In the real world, right now. I feel so helpless, so hopeless. And here I am, critiquing Ready Player One. I don't want to think about any dystopias in this moment of our human history, where civility, education, morality, common sense, human decency, empathy, sympathy and feeling are officially dead and meaningless. We are living in a real-life dystopia. Decades of novels about the future - warning signs - and we have learned nothing.

But I have come this far, and I want to complete something; to feel practical and proactive somehow.

With that said, here goes. Here's to the last shred of hope that we as a surviving species still possess:



Wade leaves the planet no problem, as the NPC guards had stopped looking for him. This chapter is about the band Rush. Not just any band, but it was Halliday's favourite band. He had often referred to the members, Neil Peart, Alex Lifeson, and Geddy Lee, as "the Holy Trinity", and " the Gods of the North." Interesting choice of words for someone who was supposed to have been an atheist.

And yes, as a result, Wade knows everything about Rush, and he wants the reader to know every detail of his research. We went from Blade Runner to Rush music without any ease in transition, no breaks.

Wade infodumps on Rush's classic sci-fi-themed album, 2112, which he'd figured out offers the clue to the Crystal Key:


2112's title track is an epic seven-part song, over twenty minutes in length. The song tells the story of an anonymous rebel living in the year 2112, a time when creativity and self-expression have been outlawed. (Page 260)


Creativity and self-expression outlawed, huh? Like in this dystopia, then? See the connection, Cline? Surely this is intentional? But who knows; it is never followed up on again.

Wade goes to the planet Syrinx in Sector Twenty-One. He lands on one of the 1,024 copies of Megadon, the doomed city from 2112's lyrics and notes. You know, maybe a gunter could figure out any clue from Halliday's Anorak's Almanac about the contest just by the number of copies of his favourite places in the OASIS.

Long story short, Wade wins the Key by playing guitar. Yes, he can play guitar now.


James Halliday had taken guitar lessons for a few years in high school. That was what had inspired me to learn to play. I'd never held an actual guitar, but on a virtual axe, I could totally shred. (Page 263)


This was never mentioned before; never hinted at before, ever. Nor will it come to play later, ever.

I mean... what the hell?

Wade keeps inadvertently letting the reader know that he has no personality or interests of his own. Everything about his life revolves around copying Halliday, and melding himself into actually becoming Halliday. He never met the man. Secluded rich man Halliday didn't know Wade existed - he is merely one of thousands-to-millions of gunters. "Gunter" meaning "sucker": poor sap. The Sux0rz nickname fits them much better than it does the Sixers.

What kind of "hero" is Wade? What kind of "hero" is he for a dystopian novel? Where free will suffers? Ready Player One is a dystopian novel that sees itself as a paradise, and it isn't meant to be a tragedy or a cautionary tale.

Plus, virtual instrument playing is not the same as playing a real instrument in the real world! That's like someone claiming to be a pro on the guitar because they play a lot of Guitar Hero.

Can I just take a moment to say that I have no interest in nostalgic music, whatsoever? Music studies and music playing are not my forte. Therefore reading this chapter is a bore for me more than anything else. Not helping matters is the fact that everything is happening very, very fast now; and we're not even one hundred pages left until the merciful end of Ready Player One.

So because Wade manages to bullshit on a virtual reality guitar/Excalibur sword, he wins the Crystal Key (it was the guitar all along - barf!). The riddle to the Third and final Gate is revealed to him, and he quickly figures out that the Gate is in Halliday's avatar's stronghold, Castle Anorak, on the planet Chthonia.

Gunters had already swarmed there years ago, because it seemed obvious that any one of the three keys or Gates could be hidden there. No one could penetrate Halliday's castle. But now Wade has the Crystal Key with him. It is needed for the final test - the final boss - at Halliday's private virtual stronghold, the Third Gate.

At least there is no planet in the OASIS called Cthulhu that I know of.

When Wade gets to Chthonia it is surrounded by Sixers, and they have erected a magical shield over the castle to prevent gunters from entering. No weapons work against it. The IOI company is smart enough to try new things when previous plans fail, I'll give them that.

Sixers vs Gunters, the final battle.

But because we can never get too much excitement, Wade has a plan that involves spending time in the real world. I'd say this is a bloody big relief - Fresh air! Outdoors! Food! Shower! Pants! - except that this happens just before things could have gotten good, now that the stakes are at their highest - which isn't saying much for this novel, but still.

Right under the hero's nose is a boss battle, involving millions of players. We should have reached the climax by now. Here at our doorstep is the ultimate nerd fantasy for the ages; what everyone has been reading Ready Player One for.

And further boredom has to happen in order to reach it.

It takes about fifty more pages to reach it.

What a tease.

Before I could wonder why not one of the thousands of Sixers had completed the Third Gate course yet, Wade, in full and sudden confidence, implies that he knows a way to deactivate the magical shield:


But I refused to give up. Until an avatar reached Halliday's Easter egg, anything was still possible. (Page 266)


Where was this optimism and self-assurance in chapter 24, Wade!?


Like any classic videogame, the Hunt had simply reached a new, more difficult level. A new level often required an entirely new strategy.
    I began to formulate a plan. A bold, outrageous plan that would require epic amounts of luck to pull off. I set this plan in motion by e-mailing Art3mis, Aech, and Shoto. My message told them exactly where to find the Second Gate and how to obtain the Crystal Key. Once I was sure all three of them had received my message, I initiated the next phase of my plan. This was the part that terrified me, because I knew there was a good chance it was going to end up getting me killed. But at this point, I no longer cared.
    I was going to reach the Third Gate, or die trying. (Page 266)


He'll be fine.

"Luck" - take a shot!

Oh yeah, Aech hasn't shown up in ages, has he? Obsessing over and stalking Art3mis takes precedence over his existence.

Wade has everything planned out. His strategy, thought up at the spur of the moment, ends up going 100% right for him. No trouble, no struggle for him, as usual. Gary Stu protagonist is at full force now.

He would die over a game. He would probably kill - in the real world - for the OASIS as well. How is he any different from Sorrento and the Sixers in this regard? There are no hero/villain parallels that are introspected in this smart, critically-acclaimed sci-fi!

Card games are serious business!--I mean, video games are serious business!

End of chapter 27. End of Level Two. Onto Level Three.

Will the excitement finally start? Has my rage reached its peak? Will my faith in humanity ever be restored? Stay tuned.

Wednesday, 27 June 2018

Ready Player One Read-Through: Chapter 26


Content warning: references to gun violence and cultural approbation.



Leftover note from previous chapter:

About Shoto's new motivation. Not once does Wade ever even think about revenge himself - against the Sixers for killing his family and friends in the real world, and destroying his home. His only motivation throughout Ready Player One is to win Halliday's contest so he can own the OASIS and become the most powerful billionaire in the world. At age eighteen, he is set for life. He wants to be rich, to make sure his precious virtual reality stays how he wants it, and then literally escape earth and reality altogether. That's the extent of his goal.

Wow. What a noble, selfless, responsible, likable hero, worth rooting for.



Wade figures out the Blade Runner connection from the riddle on the Jade Key's foil. "The origami unicorn had revealed everything to me." Deus ex machina!

He's off to the planet Axrenox in Sector Twenty-Two to find the Second Gate. Copies of the Tyrell Building from Blade Runner are everywhere in the OASIS - there are hundreds-to-thousands of them copied and pasted even in the same area - and he's going to the closest one to him.


Blade Runner was referenced in the text of Anorak's Almanac no less than fourteen times. It had been one of Halliday's top ten all-time favorite films. And the film was based on a novel by Phillip K. Dick, one of Halliday's favorite authors. For these reasons, I'd seen Blade Runner over four dozen times and had memorized every frame of the film and every line of dialogue. (Page 250)


Who gives a shit? Is this an excuse for the author to show how much he knows about '80s pop culture and sci-fi? Oh, who am I kidding, an excuse to talk about '80s crap justifies the whole novel's existence.

"over four dozen times" - Now I know you're full of it, Wade. Nobody - especially someone as young and super busy with absorbing other pop culture stuff as you are - watches the same film that many times. Nobody.

You are a Time Lord, aren't you?

No love expressed yet again - Wade only likes something because Halliday liked it. He is a mindless, soulless drone, devoid of a personality of his own.

The chapter is basically Tyrell Building porn, with plentiful sprinklings of other Blade Runner references. More infodumping about the film. Wade enters a Tyrell Building and apparently gets into a fight. I say apparently because:


The shooting started as soon as the elevator doors slid open. I had to kill seven skin jobs before I could even make it out of the elevator car and into the hallway.
     The next ten minutes played out like the climax of a John Woo movie. One of the ones starring Chow Yun Fat, like Hard Boiled or The Killer. I switched both of my guns to autofire and held down the triggers as I moved from one room to the next, mowing down every NPC in my path. The guards returned fire, but their bullets pinged harmlessly off my armor. I never ran out of ammo, because each time I fired a round, a new round was teleported into the bottom of the clip.
     My bullet bill this month was going to be huge. (Page 252)


And that's all folks! Another glossed-over fight scene containing no danger, no stakes, nor any emotional investment of any kind for our Gary Stu hero. Fun!

When Wade enters the office of Eldon Tyrell, he describes how it is a perfect replica of the film, down to the last detail, including "a massive floor-to-ceiling window offering a breathtaking view of the vast cityscape outside." A view? How? Is the exact same view from Blade Runner recreated in every one of the thousands of copies of the Tyrell Building in the OASIS, no matter where it is set?

Anyway, the Voight-Kampff is the portal to the Second Gate. Yeah, sure, why not at this point? Not like you could have done anything clever and creative with that device or anything.

Wade jumps into the portal and is now in a bowling alley - another fave childhood place of Halliday's. Then he is literally sucked into a game room, towards the video game Black Tiger ("Capcom. 1987.", as he so helpfully and unnecessarily lets us know). He also smugly lets us know that he had already mastered playing Black Tiger many times; since the beginning of the hunt, in fact. Even in virtual reality. Of course! No tension, remember?

He is inside the game, with no way out. It's do-or-die time.

Halliday's prisoner completes the game in less than a page. Crisis averted. Nothing to see here, people, just move along.

He is returned to the bowling alley simulation, and his reward is a choice of a giant robot.


There were several robots [as a long row of icons] I didn't recognize, but most were familiar. I spotted Gigantor, Tranzor Z, the Iron Giant, Jet Jaguar, the sphinx-headed, Giant Robo from Johnny Sokko and His Flying Robot, the entire Shogun Warriors toy lie, and many of the mechs featured in both the Macross and Gundam anime series. (Page 257)


Robot toy as a reward for playing a video game. This is not helping to avert the stereotype that geeks are overgrown children. Lord knows that Halliday needed to grow up, but tragically never did.

One particular reference that strikes me is The Iron Giant. These toys are handed out to the winner in order to use them to fight with later. They are weapons of war and mass destruction in the OASIS. And the Iron Giant is included in that assemble. The Iron Giant, whose entire character revolves around peace and the choice of not becoming a war weapon. The choice to never take a life, no matter how small and insignificant they are to anyone else. Remember his famous line, "I am not a gun."?

Talk about missing the point of a film you're referencing entirely. James Halliday is terrible. Brad Bird ought to sue your arse, Cline.

Wade chooses the Leopardon robot from Supaidaman, an incarnation of Spider-Man in a '70s Japanese TV series.


I'd discovered Supaidaman during the course of my research and had become somewhat obsessed with the show. So I didn't care if Leopardon was the most powerful robot available. I had to have him, regardless. (Page 257)


What '80s thing are you not obsessed with, Wade?

He gets his toy, and the end credits of Black Tiger play. In the very last credit, Halliday's name appears as creating the OASIS port - the only text not in Japanese. There is a discussion to be had here on whitewashing and cultural approbation, but that would take far too long, and would be far too complex an issue to write about in this read-through.

Next clue pops up, Wade knows what it is right away, and he jumps (what a Jump Man he is today!) through a portal back to the Tyrell Building. Easy!

End of chapter 26. The next chapter is the final one of Level Two. I still don't care about anything that has happened so far.

Book Review - 'Geekerella' by Ashley Poston

2023 REREAD: A great guilty pleasure read. Girly, glittery and geeky, but most of all, bloody passionate. There are sprinkling dusts of truth and relevance throughout 'Geekerella', nonetheless. There is heart and love here; a galaxy's worth of it (or a whole fandom's worth).

It could have used better editing for its several typos, though.

Final Score: 3.5/5





Original Review:



What I liked about 'Geekerella':



• This contemporary chick lit is so addictive and engaging - one could read it in a day, and take the paperback anywhere with them. I did, even when I wasn't sure if I'd have time to read a single page of it.

• It is a fantastic beach and summer read.

• Nice, healthy bit of escapism - and I usually can't stand YA that can be termed "chick lit".

• Even though 'Cinderella' is one of my least favourite fairy tales, I really enjoyed this retelling - with its geek and pop culture celebration aesthetic! Where the costume ball is a cosplay contest set in a con!

• Cinderella herself, Danielle "Elle" Wittimer, is a geek and a die-hard fan of a classic sci-fi TV series called 'Starfield' - joining the ranks of 'Star Trek', 'Star Wars', and 'Stargate'. It does sound interesting, as parts of it are explained to the reader throughout. I appreciate that its premise and famous plot points are not explained in one giant infodump.

• The "prince" in this tale is a young POC actor, Darien Freeman, who gets cast in the lead of a movie reboot of 'Starfield'. I adore him - he's funny, witty, and very human. His life and experiences highlight just how hard Hollywood and the acting world at large can be, especially in our contemporary, internet times. And TMZ.

• Darien cries as well. Men and boys expressing emotions other than anger is normal and healthy. Showing men as human who are allowed to be sad and vulnerable is vital to ending the culture of toxic masculinity.

• So the lavish, rich and famous/poor, ordinary and drudging divide between the lovers in the story is still present. Both Elle and Darien are lonely and disenfranchised in their own way.

• Nobody is perfect - every character has flaws that make them human. Elle is a passionate geek and fangirl, but this can make her narrow-minded; afraid of change and anything that does not carter specifically to her nostalgia. She immediately bashes Darien, her future love interest, as the lead in the 'Starfield' reboot - thinking he is nothing more than a cheap soap opera heartthrob with more hair gel than acting talent. She gets very harsh about this as well. She actually says in her first-person narration (both she and Darien get POV chapters), "Darien Freeman is not my Federation Prince Carmindor." Everybody makes mistakes, and judges initially and unfairly.

• Elle's love for 'Starfield' comes from a real, beautiful but tragic place. Both her parents were fans; they organised cons and cosplayed together. Elle was especially close to her nerd dad (her mum died when she was very small). He died when she was eleven, and it truly affected her. She was devastated. She still is. I really like how grief is written into the book. 'Starfield' feels like the only thing Elle has left of her parents, as well as her house which is not her house anymore, as her stepmother and stepsisters took over everything.

• Elle has to hide her favourite jar of peanut butter in her home - in fact she has to hide a lot from her stepfamily. The flawed, insecure, underprivileged teen geek girl feels real to me; not "quirky" in the least.

• 'Geekerella' may be easily labeled as cute and fluffy, but that doesn't mean that its emotional moments - its core heartbeat - are not genuine. Nothing feels hollow, shallow or manipulative in the book. Real care for its story, characters and subject matter went into writing it.

• Seriously funny moments, too.

• Elle is a blogger, so I related to her even more. She didn't receive any attention until she posted her feelings about Darien Freeman being cast as Prince Carmindor. Now she's a sort-after internet critic with thousands of viewers.

• Despite what Elle and everybody else thinks, Darien is not just a pretty face and body. He is smart, and is a huge fan of 'Starfield' too. He saw himself represented in the original Prince Carmindor - proof that representation and casting brown-skinned and other POC actors in major roles do matter. Throughout the book he doubts his ability to play his favourite character in a big-budget blockbuster, and despite himself he does worry about what others think of him in that role. Yes! Celebrities have insecurities, too - show that! No doubt he voices what so many actors feel about stepping into the shoes/boots of preexisting characters in pop culture (Chris Pine is referenced a few times). They are continuing a legacy that means so much to a whole subculture of people - of fans: the good, the bad, and the toxic -after all.

• Additionally, Darien's fear of heights, which he manages to overcome in performing his own stunts, is endearing, and it makes him more and more human.

• Love Sage! She is a green-haired, piercing-covered lesbian workmate of Elle's in their food van called the Magic Pumpkin (get it?! How adorable). I admire her deadpan snark and gives-no-shits attitude. Sage, though she's the same age as Elle, serves the fairy godmother role in this fairy tale retelling, as she is an aspiring fashion designer and helps Elle with her 'Starfield' cosplay for the competition at ExcelsiCon (first founded by Elle's dad).

• A pleasant surprise regarding Elle's stepsister Calliope, which I won't reveal due to spoilers.

• Sage's mum, little page time she gets, is also sweet and funny. Like the Weasleys' function in 'Harry Potter', Sage and her mum show Elle that loving families do exist from her own abusive household.

• On Darien's end, he has friends, too. His handler Gail, a huge worrywarts but an extremely hardworking mother figure, and his bodyguard Lonny, one of the biggest, scariest-looking men in the world, who has a subtle sense of humour. Both are well-developed and interesting. They would do anything for Darien; he is lucky to have them, all things considered.

• There's a poor neighbour's dog called Frank that Elle saves. Standing up to animal cruelty is always a plus. Frank is a funny little mutt.

• Ahh the references! Can't forget about those! They make up a lot of the novel's funniest parts. Internet celebs are even mentioned! It is fun to spot them, and they don't distract from the story.

• Love the exploration and critique on fandom culture as well. How no one is any less of a fan of something than anyone else, for any reason.; how there are bad eggs in any community, united by a shared love, etc.

• The infrequent moments of self-awareness are much appreciated.

• The line, "Space princesses don't win Oscars." It it said dejectedly by Darien's costar on the 'Starfield' movie, Jessica Stone. I don't know why that made me tear up, but it did. It reminded me of Carrie Fisher. The Oscars are a sham, full of elitist snobs. Stories that entertain and connect to people on a deep level do matter.

• I probably already referred to this, but I have to emphasize: the love and passion that went into writing 'Geekerella'. You can tell that author Ashley Poston is a fangirl herself.

• There's a not-undeserved swipe at Wolverine that made me laugh out loud.

• Darien's insured abs. That is hilarious. I mean, come on, in real life celebrities have insured parts of their body for BILLIONS.



What I didn't like about 'Geekerella':



• Once again we have a 'Cinderella' retelling where the stepmother and stepsisters are horrible and cruel for really no reason. Like, why did Elle's father marry Catherine, the stepmother, in the first place? She hates 'Starfield', and it was his life. Elle finds out that Catherine wanted to change him, apparently. Why? If Catherine did love Elle's dad, then why would she want him to change? If she didn't love him, then why did she marry him? He wasn't rich, and Catherine is a wannabe socialite and snob who cares only about appearances. She treats the bereaved orphan Elle like a slave, and it is clear to Elle that she is not wanted in her own home.

• Also in yet another 'Cinderella' retelling, there is one stepsister who is less mean than the other - or she is not mean at all, but is just going along with her sister's abuse, keeping silent as Elle suffers. At least Calliope, the "nice" stepsister, redeems herself somewhat near the end of the book. Plus there's that pleasant surprise about her that I mentioned earlier. The mean stepsister, Chloe, on the other hand, is pure evil for reasons lost in a black nebula.

• Speaking of nastiness, Elle does go too far in her online attack on Darien Freeman on her now-famous blog. I know she's young and learning, but come on! It's a funny narrative choice to have her initially hate the boy who would be her true love and soulmate, I guess? She makes up for it by showing just how much 'Starfield' means to her, expressing how many geeks and nerds of pop culture feel. How fandoms are like families.

• In this retelling, the prince and Cinderella get to know each other before the ball via text messages. How modern! They found each other's numbers by accident (long story), and they don't know the other's true identity. Their words and connection to one another feel "real" - like they simultaneously understand and feel understood, mostly through their love of 'Starfield'. This... is either clever, sweet and cute, or stupid, pandering and unbelievable, depending on who you ask. I'm... mostly in the former camp, mainly because of the earnestness of the writing, and how Poston demonstrates her knowledge of modern technology. Despite not knowing each other concretely at first, the relationship between Elle and Darien is somehow still heartfelt. They are lonely, misunderstood geek kids from different worlds, united by a shared love. Like they are communicating faintly from the stars, or under the same starlight sky, no matter where they are in the universe.

• Later in 'Geekerella', a character actually references 'Cinderella'. She calls Elle that when she must leave the ball at ExcelsiCon before midnight. So that fairy tale does exist in this novel's universe. What a massive coincidence, what forces of fate, that everything parallels practically everything in the tale! - like Elle's name, her evil stepmother and stepsisters, her future prince playing a prince in a film, her workplace being a van called the Magic Pumpkin, a costume contest that involves meeting the prince, and her cosplay dresses, once belonging to her late parents, getting ripped apart and ruined by her stepsister the day before the contest! 'Geekerella' is not as self-aware as it could have been.

• I fucking hate Brian, Darien's ex-friend from before he became famous. Even though he receives a bloody good physical beating he deserves, he isn't punished properly. In fact his actions are absolved in the end. Fuck that, Brian is scum.

• Darien's father and manager, Mark, is also a bag of dicks. What he puts his own son through is unforgivable. Living through your child has taken on a new kind of fucked-up.

• There are some critiques on sexism in pop culture and in fandoms ("fake geek girls" - kill mode activated!). Feminism is present. But it could have been explored a lot more.

• There is diversity as well. Darien and Sage don't come across as tokens. As a side note, a female contest winner at ExcelsiCon is described as dark-skinned, who has a girlfriend. However, the intersectional feminism could have been a lot better. More than one POC and queer main characters, please!

• The ending feels rushed and waaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy cheesy and OTT, even for this book. Events and character actions are super contrived, in order to fit the fairy tale. Starry-eyed, indeed.

• There are several typos throughout.



In conclusion, the YA lit 'Geekerella' is sweet, cute, loving, touching, passionate, light but doesn't insult the reader's intelligence, flawed, and even kinda beautiful. Great for sci-fi, movie, TV, and internet nerds and geeks. Think 'Queens of Geek' by Jen Wilde, but as a fairy tale, and somewhat less diverse. It can be frustrating and hair-pulling at times, but hey, isn't that exactly like being part of a fandom? Part of a family? I related to it.

'Geekerella' is my guilty pleasure of 2018.

Final Score: 3.5/5

Tuesday, 26 June 2018

Ready Player One Read-Through: Chapter 25


Content warning: suicide, racism, death, references to self-harm.



Whelp, we're back and worse off than ever. It just keeps going. It doesn't get any easier.

So the chapter opens with Shoto landing on Wade's asteroid in a vessel that is a reference to Cowboy Bebop.  When they meet up, Shoto is in black mourning robes:


"Parzival-san," he said, bowing low.
    "Shoto-san," I returned the bow respectfully, then stretched out my palm, a gesture he recognized from the time we'd spent questing together. Grinning, he reached out and slipped me some skin. (Page 241)


Shoto had seriously never heard of the concept of shaking hands before meeting Wade. Did Cline seriously think that Japanese people never ever shake hands? That bowing is literally the only form of greeting they know? This goes beyond racist stereotyping, but something more sinister. Like something someone would make up on a white supremacist website.

And what the fuck: Shoto has seen thousands of examples of western media - he must have for Halliday's egg hunt, to have gotten as far as he has. Hell, this is confirmed a paragraph later when he enters Wade's sitting room, that is "a re-creation of the living room set from Family Ties", and "Shoto recognized the decor and nodded his silent approval." Are you telling me that he had seen no handshaking of any kind in any of those shows and movies and cartoons? The bullshit sundae just keeps topping itself, doesn't it?

Shoto ignores the furniture in Wade's stronghold and sits "seiza-style" in the center of the floor. He's in mourning, clearly traumatized, so maybe this isn't another example of crass racial stereotyping. At least Wade does the same, and they address each other in that position for the majority of the chapter.

Shoto tells Wade that the Sixers killed Daito in the real world. His real name was Toshiro Yoshiaki, and the Japanese newspapers are dismissing his tragic death as "ANOTHER OTAKU SUICIDE". Shoto's real name is Akihide, and even though Wade gives away his own name in return, he will continue to call him Shoto throughout the rest of the book. So much for taking reality seriously for once. And the two samurai avatars were not really brothers, not in blood. They never met in reality.


When Shoto saw that I'd finished reading, he closed the window. I hesitated before asking, "Are you sure he didn't really commit suicide? Because his avatar had been killed?"
    "No," Shoto said. "Daito did not commit seppuku. (Page 242)


Cline, you do know that "seppuku" does not directly translate to "suicide", right?

It means "abdomen/belly cutting", or "to cut", as in death by disembowelment; usually by a sword or other sharp blades, like a tantō, which was used by samurai in feudal Japan. Daito supposedly killed himself by jumping from his apartment and falling to his death. It had nothing to do with cutting himself open. The right word you are looking for here is jigai, which does mean "suicide" in Japanese. A few minutes spent on Google would have told you that.

This is what happens when you rely on stereotyping from Family Guy for research on ethnic characterization. It is infuriatingly insensitive and disrespectful; not a good look in an American book. How did an editor not pick up on this?

Also, Wade, why would you think that Daito killed himself just because his avatar died? You didn't know him personally, for real; but on your virtual quests together, did he seem like he would do something like that? And you have the nerve to voice this opinion to the grieving Shoto?

Believe it or not, Wade Watts, not everyone is as blase about taking their own lives as you are! The OASIS - a "game" and an easy way of life in a shithole world - is supposed to be fun, remember?

Lots of bowing ensues (what did anyone expect?), and Wade detects from Shoto's voice that he might be crying in the real world. He responds by giving this sage comfort:


"We're gunters," I said, trying to fill the awkward silence. "We live here, in the OASIS. For us, this is the only reality that has any meaning." (Page 243)


No comment.

Actually, I do have to comment: Wade, you sound like a cult leader. Taking advantage of the weak and vulnerable.

You really, really suck at comforting people. You are incapable of grief yourself. Incapable of social skills. Incapable of empathy. You are a sociopath.

Next Shoto expositions to his caring and not creepy friend on what happened to him and Daito, leading up to the battle on Frobozz. In Japan there is an OASIS support group for hikikomori, for individuals who have cut themselves off completely from society and reality to live in isolation in the OASIS. It got worse once Halliday's egg hunt began five years previously - millions locked away in search of the egg, and missing from their families. Sounds sane, healthy, and sustainable. Economically, morally and financially sound - no horrifying implications to be garnered there.

It's never brought up again, in case you were wondering. At least in this infodump there are no references to otaku. The Japanese stereotyping is embarrassing enough.

Shoto/Akihide was always well-versed in American pop culture - then how did he not recognize handshaking!? - and he and Daito/Toshiro were a good team of gunters, grown close like real brothers in the OASIS, despite not even knowing each other's true names. They were famous in Japan, and a cartoon and live-action show were made about them (what do I even say to that?). Apparently Daito "had flown into a rage and stopped speaking to Shoto for several days." when Shoto suggested they finally meet in person. He never spoke of it again afterwards. Sounds like a healthy and trustworthy relationship they had. As healthy and trustworthy as it could be when it was based on absolutely nothing solid or, you know, real.

Finally the boy gets to how Daito/Toshiro died. They had both planted tracking devices on Sixer ships - how the hell they achieved this is never explained - and followed them to Frobozz. Shoto shows Wade the vidfeed of the battle they had on Frobozz, where an admittedly cool action scene took place. Daito had used the Beta Capsule to turn into Ultraman, and smashed up the Sixers ships around him, defending Shoto as he completed the quest for the Jade Key inside a copy of the white house. Pity the reader knows how this all ends.

When Shoto had acquired a copy of the Key, he escaped the Sixers on his ship, but not before Daito's voice on the comlink broke in to warn him about Sixers being in his apartment, right before he is killed for real. His avatar froze in place at logout:


Logging out of your OASIS account while you were engaged in combat was the same thing as committing suicide. During the log-out sequence. your avatar froze in place for sixty seconds, during which time you were totally defenseless and susceptible to attack. The log-out sequence was designed this way to prevent avatars from using it as an easy way to escape a fight. (Page 246)


No, Wade. It is not the same as committing suicide, you fucking arsehole. Stop casually referring to it!

Plus, preventing any avatars from escaping a fight, whether they willingly entered one or not, sounds like an evil thing to do. Thanks again, Halliday. Both you and Wade are thoughtless, megalomaniacal, violent arseholes.

More infodumping later and we get to the end of the vidfeed and Shoto's story. Wade remarks, "Luckily for Shoto, his brother had wiped out most of the Sixer gunships in the vicinity, and reinforcements had yet to arrive." (Page 247) - "Lucky" mention - take a shot!

Shoto barely survived the battle on Frobozz, and his Cowboy Bebop ship took heavy damage. Was this mentioned at the beginning of the chapter? Surely Wade would have noticed this about the ship. Did Shoto get it repaired at a garage while he was grieving?

Anyway, Daito's item left to Wade in his will is the Beta Capsule. The only one in existence (what about other people who would have won a copy of it in the Ultraman episode quest?). Very valuable. More valuable than lightsabers, as Wade cares to comment on.

Further bowing, then Wade demonstrates his complete lack of empathy and understanding of human emotions on a bigger scale when he asks Shoto, "You haven't given up yet, have you?" 

HE IS GRIEVING, YOU INSENSITIVE TWAT! HE IS TRAUMATIZED! UNLIKE YOU, HE IS ACTUALLY AFFECTED BY THE DEATH OF A LOVED ONE! PRIORITIES!


"Of course not." He straightened his body and gave me a dark smile. "But finding the egg is no longer my goal. I have a new quest. A far more important one."
    "And that is?"
    "Revenge." (Page 247)


Hmm. Wade, could you perhaps talk carefully and gently to Akihide, the young, bereaved, upset and angry boy, who has lived in the fictional OASIS his whole life, about how revenge is not the answer? That it is meaningless and dangerous in real life? Not as satisfactory as it is shown in movies, TV and video games?

Wade, could this be your chance to finally, finally show some responsibility? Be an adult? A mentor? To an impressionable child who looks up to you and is like your younger, more naive self?


I nodded. Then I walked  over and took down one of the samurai swords mounted on the wall and presented it to Shoto. "Please," I said. "Accept this gift. To aid you in your new quest." (Page 247)


Nah! This is Male Power Fantasy: The Book, after all. Revenge is awesome! Totally acceptable.

This goes nowhere. Shoto's vendetta against the Sixers is not really touched upon again.

Great writing.

Despite the effort to characterize him properly and develop him in the chapter, Shoto remains nothing but a token. A plot device.

 Practically every one of his words and actions come across as ethnic stereotyping.


Shoto bowed again to show his gratitude. "Arigato." (Page 248)


By my count, bowing is mentioned seven times in this eight-page chapter. Again, the poor boy is grieving, so I won't be too harsh on this. Is it normal, though, in any context?

He boards his ship and departs. Wade is no longer thinking about killing himself, so I guess Shoto gave him a reason to keep going. The Sixers have not won the egg yet. End chapter.

Wade is a white saviour. Daito/Toshiro is a dead POC in a novel where white is the default, whose tragedy motivates the white hero to continue on his journey, saving him from the brink. A POC character's death is made about him. Just like a typical white saviour story, it is all about the white hero and not the people of colour, who are not given a chance to tell their own stories, except when it helps the white man.

Fuck this.

Back to the usual BS next. Wade finds the Second Gate easily and immediately. I repeat: what did anyone expect?